Control Freak
by Lovesick Insomniac
Summary: Arika is a control freak. Even when things were out of her power, she found ways to feel in control of the situation. She gets tired of all of the crap. The girl runs to Charming to regroup and considering asking for help, but she struggles with handing over the reins. ?/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Arika Blake was a control freak. Even when things were out of her power, she found ways to control the situation. When the crap hits the fan, she's forced to consider giving up her control, and asking her Uncle Otto's MC for help. Can she hand over the reins or will she self destruct first? ?/OC pairing.**

**A/N: I have had a craving SoA story bouncing around my head for so long! It won't be anything spectacular, but I am dying to flex my fanfiction muscle. This is the first time I've posted any of my work. Reviews are welcome, even the mean and nasty ones. I'm a glutton for punishment.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Sons, then again, who does ;)**

She cursed her luck as she trudged through the chilly turrets of, she was soaked to the bone, and trembling, trying to dart from shelter to shelter. She couldn't say that she had been surprised when her little Honda had called it quits. She'd been on the road for close to five hours, and she'd never attempted such a long trek in her beloved car. She knew it couldn't take it. Tonight though, is hadn't mattered. She had to get away. She got in her car a drove. She drove and drove until she reached the safest and most dangerous place on earth, Charming California. She wasn't sure where she was going, she hadn't been in this empty little town in so long that she wasn't sure where to find the Clubhouse. She was certain that she would stumble across it eventually, she just hoped she didn't drown by then. She heard the loud motor of a truck behind her and looked behind her, debating on waving down the vehicle for directions.

The thought had barely crossed her mind when the truck crept to a stop. If she turned around she would have noticed that the one of two traffic lights in the little town had turned red. That didn't matter to her though. She moved toward the window of the vehicle. The window rolled down as she drew closer and she stopped in her tracks as she found the driver of the truck to be a familiar face.

"You alright darlin?" he asked with an accent that hovered between southern and Yankee.

"You're a sight for sore eyes Jax Teller." She said, pushing her soaked tresses out of her face.

Jax was standing over the stove, letting a few sausages simmer on the stove, his deep blue eyes following the young woman pacing up and down the hallway. Arika Blake was the twenty year old niece of one of the oldest club members, Otto Delaney. She had her hand running through her brunette hair. She had traded in her soaking wet clothes for a baggy Reaper Crew t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

"I'm at Jax's." she sighed into the phone. "Yes, in Charming." Jax smirked a little bit as she rolled her pale eyes. "No mom. I don't want to talk about him." there was stiffness in her voice at that statement. Jax raised an eye brow as she stopped dead in her tracks. "Why can't you just listen to me for once!" her voice was quivering. The Vice President set down the spatula and crossed the kitchen to the hall, without saying a word, and snatched the prepaid cell phone from her hand and put it to his ear.

"Jo? It's Jax." he said putting the phone to his ear.

"Jackson? How are you doing dear?" a shrill voice of Otto's younger sister, Joslyn, replied from the other end of the line. "I am so sorry that my kid is pulling you into her little dramatizations." She said with a laugh.

"It's alright. We've her missed are around these parts." He said watching as Arika moved like a zombie to slump into a chair at the kitchen table. "It was a bit of a surprise though. Any idea what prompted the impromptu vacation?"

"No idea. I'm sure she had some sort of deranged story behind it." Jax bit his tongue. "I haven't heard from her since she stormed out two nights ago. She was throwing a fit because she didn't like that I had a gentleman friend over."

"She say why?"

"No, and I didn't ask. She always makes up the most insane stories

about my friends." she said firmly.

"What makes them so crazy?" he asked, not understanding the coldness between them .

"Have you met her? She's a selfish little bitch." Jax shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Arika is gonna be stay for a while, she blew the head in that little Honda of hers, I'm gonna fix it for her."

"I don't know about that Jax. I took her out of that place for a reason. She doesn't cope with that life very well..."

"She's not a little girl anymore Jo. She'll be alright. We'll let you know when she's on her way back." he didn't wait for an answer. He snapped the device closed and looked back at the woman at the table. Jax had grown up with Arika like she was a little sister. She was part of the MC family. As they grew up, he was so absorbed in the club, he barely spent time girl around the time they moved eight years ago. He saw her over brief visits for the first few years after the move, but then the club had taken her home from a visit early, for her own protection, and she never came back.

He finally pulled his thoughts from their foggy history, and went to the girl, dropping into the seat beside her.

"You alright darlin?" he asked, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one up. She looked back at him with blank eyes.

"No matter what I do or say, it's always my fault." Her voice was flat and without emotion. "Can I have one?" She asked gesturing to the cancer stick in his mouth. He pulled the pack and tossed it on the table for her.

"Smoking is a bad habit sweetheart." She smiled grimly. "I know there's some bad blood between you and your mom, but what's the beef with the boyfriend."

"I know all about bad habits Jax. Trust me." She watched his eyes dart upward to look at the clock on the wall."Hot date?" she asked following his gaze, intentionally dodging the question.

"I have a shift at the garage in ten minutes." He said with a smile. "Why don't you come down with me, give the guys some entertainment."

"I don't know Jax. I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not? Too good for SAMCRO?" He teased

"Hardly. I just don't have any clothes." She said tugging at the boxers around her waist.

"That's the entertaining part." He laughed, mocking hurt when she punched his arm. "I could probably find a pair of sweats or something if you are too good for my boxers." He was on his feet heading the the bedroom when he said this, and Arika was thankful. She didn't fancy him seeing her brilliant blush.

"Try these." Jax said throwing the boxers over her head. "I'm gonna shower and we can go." As she got up to go into the spare bedroom and change she took a deep breath. She had come to Charming to decompress and feel sane for awhile, she needed to let loose and just enjoy herself.

The Teller Morrow garage was slowly coming to life as a few mechanics rolled in to begin their work, the bikers who had stayed in the clubhouse, emerged but blinking in the sunlight. Arika watched it all coming to life and felt nervous. The pit of her stomach was writhing with nerves. She hadn't been in Charming in five years. Her mother stopped letting her visit after she was brought home early due to a gang war that was brewing. She was anxious to see the MC again. She was leaning against the garage as she watched sweetbutts emerge from the clubhouse, blinking in the sunlight and looking wrecked when the office door slammed open.

"Well I'll be damned." Arika looked over at the matron of the club and smiled awkwardly. Gemma Teller was the original old lady, her highlighted hair and manicured nails were reminiscent of a desperate housewife, but Arika knew that the woman had a dangerous side that went beyond ruining reputations with gossip.

"Gemma." The brunette replied smiling at the woman. "It's been awhile."

"No shit it's been awhile. Come here!" The older woman swept the younger into a tight hug. "I thought you'd forgotten about us!" Gemma said pulling away but keeping an arm around her waist. "What brings you back to Charming?" That was what Arika was dreading. She didn't want to cause drama, but she wasn't sure a lie would get past Gemma.

"I just missed my family." She said finally, feeling that it was true enough, and generic enough to keep the questions at bay.

"We missed you too baby. Where are you staying?" Arika blinked. She didn't have a clue. She had stayed with Jax last night after he'd picked her up.

"I don't know yet. I had a fight with mother dearest and hopped in the car, and just drove. I my car isn't used to such long trips, it broke down over on Main. I was lucky Jax found me, or I might have drowned in the storm." She joked.

"Everything all right? Need the boys to take care of -"

"No, no, its fine. Just needed to get away. Jax would probably prefer his house back. Mind if I stay here?" she asked gesturing to the clubhouse. "I really don't want to intrude on anyone.

"Sure baby. Clay will be in, in a bit. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you. Why don't you go over to clubhouse and make yourself at home. I have to run some errands and I'll be back." Arika just nodded, thankful that Gemma seemed to be in a rush because she didn't linger. She wasn't sure she could keep dodging the bullet, she knew the club would dig. Everyone was going to keep asking questions, and she was going to remember what she told who. She didn't want anyone to know what had driven her to flee home sweet hell. She just wanted it to all go away.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm not sure who ends up with who... I'll take suggestions I'm going to let the story decide, but for the purpose of keeping my options open, Jax and Tara aren't together... yet. I also have not decided when this story is going to take place, weather it'll fall in line with the show, or be AU. Right now everything is generic enough that I don't have to tie it in yet. The beginnings of stories are my weak point. The fact that I have gotten this far is a frigin miracle! I promise, that once we get into the meat of the story there will be a better flow. Thank you for all of the alert/favorites adds. It means A LOT! I know these chapters seem short, but I am crappy at transitions, so sometimes leaving it at the end of chapter is just easier. =P

**Disclaimer: I don't own SoA**

She felt relaxed for the first time in what felt like years. Arika had finally made it to the apartment in the back of the SAMCRO clubhouse and was thrilled to just flop into the bed and breathe. The moment she was inside of the clubhouse, it took all of thirty seconds before she was swarmed by the bikers. Tig lifted her into the air, cracking her back with the tight hug, then Chibs followed suit only adding a kiss to the top of her head. She turned and came face to face with Bobby Elvis, who hugged her and told her how great she looked, then Piney who cursed at how old he must be getting, because she'd grown up too damn much. When Opie stepped up she had to lean her head back to look him in the eyes.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." he said, a grin on his face that only he could pull off. "Been behaving yourself?"

"Of course Dope" He chuckled at her nickname for him. She only got away with calling him that because when they had been introduced, that's how she had heard his name, and no one had bothered to correct her, thinking it was quite funny.

"Watch it kid, you aren't nearly cute enough to still call me that." he teased, pulling her into a tight hug. She returned it, she had always appreciated the way Opie didn't try to bullshit her like the other members of the club had tried to keep her out of the loop. Ope didn't make it a habit of disclosing the club secrets, or giving all the details, but just enough that she didn't feel left out.

As she laid in the bed, staring around at the walls with their Harley posters and naked women hanging here and there she remembered the last time she'd been here with a faint smile. She had been planning to reveal her silly school girl crush on one of the bikers, but when he showed up, he had a crow eater hanging around his neck. She had been so mortified that she just ran. Not two days later, there had been a shooting at the gates, and Clay deemed it unsafe for the then 15 year old visitor. When her mother found out, she'd almost gone through the roof, refusing to allow the girl to return. As the years passed, she never had the means to return to Charming, hell she still didn't have the means if her broken down car was any indicator, and she'd lost touch with the club. She got the occasional call from Aunt LuAnn, checking in on her at her uncles request, but otherwise, she'd hardly spoken to the club for five years. She was shocked at the warm reception that Gemma had given her. She felt like despite her relation to the club, she was most certainly an outsider.

There was a knock on the door that pulled her from her thoughts, and Arika rolled out of the bed, bidding the visitor to enter.

"I thought Gemma was full of shit when she said Otto's niece, my niece, was back here. Get over here!" he said holing his arms open to her. Arika blushed as she stepped in and hugged him.

"Here I am."

"Gem said you wanted to stay in the clubhouse?" he asked walking around her once she was released to sit at the small table in the corner.

"If that's alright. I don't want to intrude on anyone's life with my visit." she sat on the edge of the bed facing him, back to the door.

"I don't know if the clubhouse is the best place for a kid-"

"I'm twenty now Clay." she cut in. "I'm a big girl. I don't know what my plans are yet, and don't want what I do to effect someone else. I don't want to be a bother."

"Twenty? Jesus. I swear, if feels like just yesterday you weren't even allowed to drive." He said rubbing his face. "I guess I'm getting old." Arika smiled and shrugged.

"It happens to the best of us." she teased.

"All right. You can crash here for now. Any problems and you can come stay with me and Gemma understand?" she nodded. "What brings you our to Charming after all of this time?" her smile faltered for all of a millisecond.

"I missed everyone. I had some time off of school and work so I decided to come stay for a few weeks." It was true that she was out of school, but she hadn't even called the lunatic asshole she worked for. She was certain that the conversation was going to end badly.

"Your mother doing all right?" she tensed and nodded stiffly. "That's good." She couldn't read the look he had on his face. "You're welcome to stay for as long as you'd like." He said grunting as he got to his feet. "Gemma is making a welcome home dinner tonight for ya tonight. Attendance is mandatory." Arika smiled again, standing as well, following the old man to the door. "I've got some shit to get done. I'll grab ya before I head to the house." He walked out, closing the door behind himself. Arika sighed and leaned against the door, pulling up the baggy sweat pants when a thought struck her.

"Clay?" she called throwing the door open. The man was in conversation with Jax already, but he looked back at her. "Sorry, my car is out on the edge of town, it was a miracle that it made it that far...but you think someone could tow it back here? My clothes are in there." Even though she was talking to Clay, her eyes darted to the blonde who had a strange look on his face.

"Sure thing sweetheart." She smiled awkwardly, muttering her thanks, and retreated into the dorm, and collapsing on her bed once again. She rubbed her cheeks and sighed. All this smiling was starting to hurt.

"So what do you think this shit is about?" Clay asked as he met him in the hallway. Jax shook his head, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"I don't know 's some sort of beef with the her moms boyfriend. I asked her about it and she dodged the question." Jax looked at the apartment door. "She's at odds with her mother."

"I got that. When I asked about Jo, I thought she was turning to stone. Think it's just petty mother daughter bullshit?"

"Jo was being a cunt on the phone. Saying some nasty shit. Never heard a mother talk about her kid that way."

"All right. Let's give her some space. Maybe this is just a friendly vacation. Lets keep an eye on her." Jax nodded and started to move down the hall past Clay to one of the spare bedrooms in the back of the Club, eager to get some sleep himself, having been up until he wee hours of the morning with club shit, and after he found Arika in the streets, he had been up even later.

Arika wasn't sure how long she had been asleep. There had been a sharp tap on the door before Gemma stormed in, startling the girl so much that she jumped from the bed. Gemma raised an eyebrow at her, tossing the dress she had slung over her shoulder onto the bed.

"Easy baby. Why so jumpy?" the queen bee asked as she dug in the large tote bag she had brought in with her.

"I, well, you just-" she stammered before Gemma rolled her eyes.

"Nevermind. I bought you something." Arika looked down at the dress and then back at Gemma, laughing.

"That can't be for me." she said firmly. "I know it's been awhile, but trust me Gem, my style hasn't changed. I thought the guys were gonna go get my car? I have a really nice sweater in there." Gemma gave her the look. Arika remembered that look, it was followed by a harrowing speech about never having a daughter to dress up. Arika sighed and rubbed her face. "Aren't I old enough for you to stop using me as a barbie?"

"Never. Now go try this on." Gemma said stuffing the dress into her hands. Arika sighed as she stomped into the bathroom, making sure that Gemma was well aware of how disgruntled she was about the ordeal. Once she was locked in the bathroom she leaned against the door, looking at her reflection with a grimace. The mirror over the sink was not being kind, her brunette hair was frizzed from the recent rain, and the ever present circles under her eyes looked even darker then usual. She looked down at the dress Gemma had given her and groaned. Clicking the lock on the door and turning her back on the mirror, she slipped out of Jax's clothes, balling them up and throwing them on the closed toilet seat, planning on using them for pajama's tonight. She pulled the dress over her head and smoothed it down before she turned to the mirror to examine herself again. It was nice. It was a deep green little knitted number with a loose turtle neck line and short sleeves, falling to just above her knee. She didn't hate it too much. She reemerged from the bathroom, only to wish she could hide in there forever. While she was changing, Gemma had taken out a make-up case and a hair straightener.

"Gemma, why?" she asked as the older woman grabber her arm and directed her into the chair sitting at the table.

"Because."

"Well, when you put it that way." Arika snapped, crossing her arms over her stomach.

"Oh, let me have some fun. You used to love when I dolled you up." Arika snorted, but stayed silent knowing that it was pointless to argue. Gemma had a self satisfied smile on her lips the few times she came into view doing the girls hair.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I think I have hit a place where the story can flow a little better. I used a LOT of dialogue. The farther I get, the less I will have to rely on dialogue (I hope).**

**I need some advice. I am playing to my strengths, writing in bursts. My chapters are short, but I write them fast enough that the flow well... Should I combine the shorter chapters to make a larger chapters or keep them short and steady? Reviews are more then welcome! **

**Disclaimer: No many how much i wish it was another way, the Reaper Crew does not belong to me. **

Arika was quite annoyed as she held onto the Jax tightly, trying, and failing to keep her dress from riding up her hips too much. After playing dress up, Gemma had fled, needing to prepare dinner for the club. When Jax offered to bring her, she had half a mind to refuse the offer and tell him that if Gemma wanted her there, she could come drag Arika out. She thought better of it, deciding to play nice since it was her first night back in town.

Jax could feel her wiggle behind him and fight with the dress his mother has dressed her in. As they drove across town, he chuckled at the infuriated look on her face when he told her that he had to take her to the house, Clay and Gemma had already left for the night. He was surprised how grown up she looked, her hair and make up done in a tasteful, simple way. He was even more surprised as he watched her stomp down the hall and through the main room. She initially looked awkward in the three inch heels she had on, but as she walked, her hips moved in a way that caught his eye. She certainly knew how to wear heels. Almost every girl who walked into the clubhouse had on hooker heels, but few could really move in them.

When they pulled up, Arika hesitated to try to dismount, the rest of the club was still congregated in the driveway, enjoying cigarettes, and waiting for the guest of honor. Jax looked over his shoulder and grinned at the girls red cheeks.

"What's a matter darlin?" she glared.

"Nothing, the whole club is gonna end up seeing my panties if I get off the bike here."

"Want me to let you off at the clubhouse?" he asked sarcastically. She smacked the back of his helmet and laughed.

"You're an asshole." Jax shook his head and was about to shrug out of his jacket to let her cover up when Opie stepped up to the bike.

"Need a hand sweetheart?" She smiled and nodded. Opie stooped down wrapped an arm around her waist, lifting her clear off the bike and setting her back on her feet beside it. She waited a moment before unwrapping her arms from his neck, the look that she had on her face was hard to decipher. She stepped away from Opie as Jax climbed off of the bike and started toward the house. "What's with those heels? She used to hate wearing shoes let alone heels." Jax shrugged.

"I dunno. I think mom had something to do with that. She can walk in them though." Opie nodded.

"So you noticed that too huh?"

Dinner had been a delightful affair. Arika sat back in her chair, listening to the stories, everyone seemed to have a different version of the same incidents. Each story became a little more interesting, peppered with a little more violence or a little more sex. She was shocked by what secrets they were willing to divulge, five years ago she wouldn't have even heard a whisper of these things.

"And then Tig walks in, pulling his pants down for the doctors, asking them to look at the dog bite on his ass, the nurses ran from the room, horrified." Jax said leaning over the side of his chair.

"Hey, you asked for a diversion."

"A diversion. Not to scar them for life Tig, Jesus." Arika retorted, the table roared with laughter.

"That's just what I said darlin." Jax gasped through hysterical laughter, pounding the table with his fist.

"Still sharp as a tack, got Otto's brains." Bobby said, wiping away a tear from laughing so hard. Arika nodded, then she reached for the beer bottle between the two of them. She had it against her lips when Opie plucked it from her fingers.

"Now, can't be contributing to the delinquency of a minor." he chastised. She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Pardon? Last time I checked, I was certainly legal."

"I you know what your license says, you would know you're still under age to drink." Chibs chimed in from across the table. Arika stuck her tongue out, crossed her arms, and slumped back into her chair to pout.

"Like any of you care. I'm sure there are quite a few little sweet butts that don't get carded at those wild parties you people throw." The phone rang and Gemma excused herself.

"You are not a sweet butt." Clay said firmly. She rolled her eyes at him.

"It's just a little bit of beer." she grumbled. Before she could continue her argument, Gemma reappeared in the doorway in the kitchen.

"Arika, baby, someone is on the phone for you. Friend of your mom." She tensed, getting up from the table, she went to the kitchen doorway, feeling eyes on her as she moved. Gemma handed her the phone and brushed past her, leaving her in large kitchen alone as she pushed the phone to her ear.

"Hello." she murmured, not wanting to be heard as she crossed to the far corner of the kitchen.

"Now if you are there, you can't possibly be where you should be, preparing for your shift." a angry mans voice hissed through the receiver. _Fuck._ She thought bitterly. "Your mother is worried that you'll get hurt with those nasty men you're associating with."

"Like my mother gives a damn who harms me."

"Your mother cares deeply about you, you little bitch." the voice snapped.

"Of course she does Scott, who's going to pay the bills if I'm not there?"

"I liked you better with your mouth full of-" Arika hung up the phone. Slamming it down on her counter, her hands trembling with aggravation. The phone began to ring again, she picked it up.

"Look you sick fuck-"

"No, you listen to me. I've been nothing but generous to you and your mother. I want you back here bright and fucking early Monday morning. If I have to come drag your stupid ass home, our deal is off, and all of this dirty laundry gets aired." this time he hung up on her and before she had a moment to rethink it, she threw the phone, watching it smash against the wall. There was a commotion from the dining room and the doorway was crowded with bikers.

"Everything okay?" Bobby said, picking up the shattered phone.

"Peachy keen. I'm sorry about the phone Gemma. I had a moment." she said rubbing her face. The club had circled her, Gemma leaned on the counter, holding the remnants of the kitchen phone that Bobby had passed her.

"No problem, I want to get a new one anyway, not loud enough... Who was it?"

"Just the asshole I work for. I guess I don't have as much time off as I thought." her mouth felt dry as she spoke.

"When do you have to go back?" Juice asked after a few moments of silence.

"Day after tomorrow." her chest was tight and aching.

"Fuck that. It's just a job right?" Tig piped in. "Stay here. You haven't even gotten to see Otto yet."

"I know... I... I can't breathe." she fanned herself with her hand, becoming flushed. Opie grabbed her arm and pulled her from the center of the circle and led her out the back door. She gasped in the cool night air, rubbing her eyes again as she stumbled toward the bench. Opie followed suit, lighting a cigarette, holding it out to her. She took it, her hands still trembling.

"You gonna tell me what's going on?" he asked, leaning back, looking at the stars as he pulled on his own cigarette.

"Does it matter?" she spat.

"Yeah it does. When you go smashing phones at family dinner, something is up." she was lifting her cigarette to her lips when Opie grabbed her hand and pulled it into his lap, running his free fingers down the underside of her arm. "It's been awhile, but I haven't forgotten." his voice was soft.

"I'm fine." she snatched her arm back. "None of this shit matters." she stood up. "I have enough shit going on right now." She dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepping on it. "I don't need to add my past to it." she turned back to the house. "Coming back was obviously a mistake." Opie watched her walk away, but didn't move from his seat. For as long as he had known her, she'd been full of turmoil. She'd always been strong willed, determined to hold her own. Too strong to ask for help or let anyone in. She was too much of a control freak.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews and adds! I appreciate it. Just a couple of things, as far as Chibs and his accent go, I try, but I don't try too hard to write it because I would fail. Just an FYI. I know where I am going, but as I write I feel like some things are turning out really dramatic, which is great, it keeps it interesting... but I want to make sure Arika doesn't become a whiney little bitch, or one of those annoying characters that you wanna see dead by the end of the. It get's a little steamy with some girl on girl in this chapter. It is just one piece os the puzzle. HAPPY HOLIDAYS! **

**Disclaimer: My heart belongs to them, but the SoA doesn't belong to me =**

The members of the Reaper crew were gathered around the table for Friday night church. They had talked about guns, charity covers for making runs, intel on the Myans, and the upcoming boxing match in Devil Hills. It was Bobby who broached the subject of the the previous nights turbulence at dinner.

"I remember that she's not exactly easy going, but I just think smashin Gemma's phone was a little out of character."

"Did you see how pale she got when she got off the phone?" Juice added, there was a muttering of agreement. "I was like she was afraid of something."

"There's something going on." Jax stated. "I don't doubt that. She shows up in the middle of the night for a family reunion? I'm not buying it."

"You two looked cozy in the garden last night-" Opie looked up at Clay who was obviously addressing him.

"We weren't cozy, just talking." There were unbelieving chuckles around the table.

"Well did that talking lead to any kind of insight?" Clay finished. Opie shook his head and there was silence around the table for a moment. "We don't know if there's a problem, or if she just really wanted this vacation time. Until we know what's what, there's not a damn thing we can do." the men all nodded in agreement. "Any other business?" when no one spoke up, Clay lifted the gavel, tapped the little wooden block, and dismissed the meeting.

It only took an hour for the traditional party to come into full swing. All of the MC was lounging around, crow eaters keeping their drinks full as they enjoyed some less then classy entertainment. From the back apartment, Arika could feel the loud thudding of music. She was planning on going to join in the festivities, but she had needed a dink, so while everyone was in the chapel she'd taken a chance to steal a bottle of vodka from the bar. She had spent the most of the day brooding in the bedroom, wondering in and out a few times to enjoy some fresh air, gathering clothing and other necessities from her car. She even went as far as the corner store to buy a couple packs of cigarettes. The conversation with Scott running through her head as she debated on what she wanted to do. If she was going to go back, she would have to leave tomorrow as soon as the car was repaired. If she stayed she would have to worry about Scott coming to Charming and the hell that would ensue. Part of her was tempted to let Scott come for her, he wouldn't leave Charming in one piece, she knew that much, but the thought of her dirty little secrets being leaked... They disturbed her and she wanted to keep her skeletons in the closet.

The young woman was thoroughly drunk when she emerged from the apartment. She had dug through the clothes from her car and found an attractive black mini skirt, a colorful low cut blouse, and a pair of silver hooker heels. With practiced ease she did her hair and make-up, despite her drunken state. She was even more confident in her heels as she strutted through the hallway, running her fingers along the pale blue paint of John Teller's bike. Drunk worked well for her, it dulled awareness, blurring the edges of her shitty reality without robbing her of it completely when she didn't want it to. It was reliable, dependable, controllable. When she entered the main room she spotted Opie and Jax sitting with a few bimbos easily, as if there was a neon sign pointing to them. She'd always had a gift for spotting him, and a gift for choking on her jealousy. She made her way to them, dropping into an empty seat beside a Barbie look a like. Jax and a bimbo on the couch to her left, Opie and his bimbo on the couch to her right.

"Howdy boys. I didn't get an invitation to the party, but I hope you don't mind me crashing it."

"Not at all darlin. Thought we were gonna have to smoke you out of the bedroom." The girl in Jax's lap crawled half on top of him, nibbling on his next as he spoke, apparently disappointed at having to share his attention. Opie didn't have a chance to comment as his sweet butt had thrown a leg over him, straddling him, pressing his face against her cleavage.

"Not where there are such beautiful ladies about to keep me entertained." She turned to the Barbie beside her and leaned close, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. Jax watched with rapt attention. "Let's give these boys a show?" she whispered in the woman's ear. She didn't protest as Arika scooted closer, so Arika didn't hesitate to pull Barbie closer pressing their chests together as well as their lips. The kiss was slow and gentle, but Arika lost patience quickly, her tongue demanding entrance into her mouth, her hands groping her breasts, squeezing and kneading them. There was a thud to her right as Opie got a glance at the two woman, deep in a kiss, and he jerked in surprise, almost dislodging the crow eater in his lap. Arika giggled as she pulled back from the girl, pushing her hair back from her face. "Come here." she directed standing up and pulling the girl up, turning her, and pressing her down onto the table between the men. Arika climbed over the girl, her skirt bunching at the top of her hips. Barbie merely gasped as Arika pulled her top down low enough that her tits popped free of it. Arika lowered her head, her tongue flicking over the girls soft nipples, swirling around the flesh until the grew into tiny pebbles. The moans coming from the woman beneath her made Arika smirk as she bit the tender mounds, eager to turn the moan into a gentle scream. She was rewarded as Barbie tossed her head back. The brunette was about to work the blondes skirt up so that she could inflict some torturous delight there when a heavy arm snaked around her waist. She was lifted from the table pulled against a hard body. She looked over her shoulder to see Opie had pulled her away, a look of disgust on his face. Arika didn't even have the time to be confused before she was being dragged away. There was whistling and cat calls as they passed the rest of the members of the club. She had a feeling that they had a different idea of what was in store for her in the back room. As he burst through the door to her room, she was practically thrown at the bed.

"What is your god damn problem?" she was confused.

"What's the matter Ope, just having a little fun." she got her her feet, but Ope pushed her back down again.

"How fucked are you?" he asked picking up the bottle of Absolute from her bed. She shrugged.

"No more then usual." she declared stretching out, knowing that if this was where Opie wanted her, this is where see was going to stay. "What's got your panties in a twist? You did plenty of illegal drinking. Fuck, I remember you getting fucked up right here in the bar, your old mad egging you on. So whats the matter with me having a few drinks?" He climbed onto the bed, straddling her legs and pulled her shirt up, running his fingers along the middle of her stomach where he remembered there being scars.

"This is what has me in a twist. This shit always has me in a god damn twist." she slapped his hands and pulled town her shirt, but he didn't move off of her.

"I told you to leave that shit alone." she growled. "Just because I couldn't handle my shit as a child, doesn't mean I can't handle it now. I'm an adult!"

"Oh, you're an adult? That what this little stunt is about? You're still a fucking kid Arika. Getting dirty with a hooker in the bar doesn't make you a big girl." he said leaning over her, a hand on either side of her head. "I wish I knew what was going through that head of yours when you thought that was a good idea."

"No more then usual." she repeated, turning her head so that she was staring up at him.

"What the hell does that mean?" he demanded, reaching a hand down to turn her face back to look at him when she didn't answer, but she bit him in the process. He jerked his hand back and swore. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she smiled and glanced at him.

"No more then usual." he growled at her but shook his head and climbed off of her. She was deliberately trying to piss him off. He didn't want her to realize how well it was working.

"This isn't over." he said as he went for the door.

"No more then usual!" she shouted as he slammed the door shut behind himself. She laid in the bed, staring at the ceiling knowing that her little exhibition had been a waste, she hadn't gotten the reaction she wanted. Instead, she'd set Opie down a road that she had no desire to travel down. As she rolled over, her hand tapped cold glass and she smirked. "Bottoms up." she said, propping herself up just enough to take another swig of Vodka.

**Trivia! What do Big Otto and Katie Sagal's (Gemma) real life boyfriend have in common? The first one with the right answer get a sneak peak at chapter five before anyone else! =) **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So more people knew who Big Otto was. I completely missed that until I recently watched an interview with Katie! Demonic Flame was the first person to answer! I'm working on the next few chapters, having a tiny bit of trouble because I feel like I don't have enough filler in between all of the action. On the other hand, Arika is on a time frame right now because of Scott wanting her back... So right now it's moving fast, but there will be a bit of a lull later I think...**

**I am sorry this took so long to post! I was going in one direction, then did a three sixty and went with another angle! I'm trying really hard to balance the two plots I have going on, but it's not been easy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Sons... Whaa! **

Waking up was a painful affair. She wasn't even sure she was ready to wake up, but her pounding headache roused her from the peacefully blank slumber she'd been having. She rolled over to find half a bottle of vodka in her bed. She groaned and dropped her head back to her pillow. She hadn't gotten so drunk that she didn't remember her little exhibition in the bar the night before. The childish stance she took when Opie tried to talk to her, and his promise that the conversation was not even close to over. She also knew that today was the day she had to make a decision. Did she go back home and keep her life the same? Or did she pass the reins on to the club and let them decide? She knew that if she asked the club for help, she really became their problem, and she lost what little control she had.

She got up and dragged her ass into the bathroom, wondering when she had stripped out of her skirt, hoping a long hot shower would make the day suck just a little bit less. She was sitting on the edge of the tub, pushing her forehead against the cold tile of the shower when there was a knock on the door. She sat up, looking at the door, sure she knew who was going to be on the other side. Sure she didn't want to open it. She was debating on going to answer it, but the answer was made for her as the door opened and Jax walked in, holding two cups of coffee.

"You look like shit." he said as he walked to the bathroom door to hand her the coffee. She smiled weakly as she debated pulling the towel that was hanging beside the shower down to cover her undie clad lower half.

"I feel like shit. Thank you." she said taking the cup out of his hand and taking a polite sip even though she despised coffee.

"So when did you go all muff diver on us?" he asked, leaning on the doorframe, paying no mind to the fact that she was about to get in the shower. "Everyone was quite..."

"Impressed? Surprised?" she offered trying to fill in the blank for him.

"Floored is a better word for it darlin." she shrugged and put a hand in the shower to feel the temperature.

"Good to know I can shock you SAMCRO boys. I'm all about cheap thrills." As Jax laughed, she stood up, and put a hand on his chest, gently pushing him from the small room. "I hate to be rude dear, but I am dying to take a nice hot shower. You're welcome to wait around for me and we can finish this conversation." he was about to say something but she did't wait for an answer as she turned and shut the door in his face. She striped off the remaining clothes and climbed into the shower. She sighed as the steaming water splattered over her skin. She just stood there, reveling in the relaxation she felt as her muscles released all of their tension. Once she began to feel better, she washed her hair, and body, enjoying the masculine scent of the soap. She put her hand on the knob with the intention of turning it off, but she hesitated, and instead, turned the water a little hotter. The water began to sting as it hit her, making her hiss as she turned the knob once more. She stifled a moan as the scolding her for just a few seconds before she flicked the water off. She waited a moment, letting the sting fade before she reached out for the towel, wrapping it around her body tightly, shuddering as it rubbed against her tender, pink skin. She she emerged, she found Opie sitting in the corner, feet kicked up on the table, a joint in his hand.

"You people have no manners." she said going for the pile of her clothes on the dresser.

"We're bikers." he said, shrugging. "We need to talk." he added, sitting up. She felt him stare at her as she gathered the items that she was going to wear and stomp back into the bathroom.

"No we don't." she called from the other side of the door.

"You shouldn't be drinking." he said loudly enough for her to hear. After a few seconds, she re-emerged, her hair piled in a sloppy, dripping bun on the top of her head, dressed in a simple sweater and pair of snug jeans.

"You shouldn't be fathering me." she said, not looking at him, but going to the dresser mirror to do her make-up. "I was fourteen when I did that shit Opie. FOURTEEN! We all do stupid shit."

"Guess I missed that ugly and worthless stage." she slammed the compact down on the dresser and turned toward him.

"I have a lot of shit on my shoulders right now, and I mean a LOT. So spare me the guilt trips." she said walking towards him slowly as she spoke. "I can handle my booze."

"What about that little show you put on last night?" he asked "That didn't look like you were in your right mind."

"Why because I kissed a girl? I knew exactly what I was doing Opie. It wasn't because I was drunk. For the last time, I am not a fucking child, I don't need you standing over me, giving me permission to think for myself. Get over it or stay the fuck away from me." she turned and stomped out of the room. There seemed to be a lot of the going around. When she reached the bar, she found most of the club members loitering around, most nursing a coffee, looking a little under the weather. Guess she wasn't the only one who drank a little too much. She spotted Jax and Bobby sitting at the bar and slid onto a stool beside Bobby. "Hey Jax, when will my car be fixed? I think I need to head out by about 3 to get home soon enough to take a nap before my shift tomorrow night."

"I don't think it will be done till Monday night sweetheart. I had to order the head gasket for it yesterday, it won't be in until Monday."

"You gotta be able to find one today though. Don't you guys keep shit like that on hand? I have to get back. If I don't, my boss will shit a frisbee." her pulse had started to race a little bit.

"Nah, we only keep the new parts around, your car is old as dirt." she sighed and rubbed her face.

"Fuck... Okay... Bobby, can you take me to Stockton to see my uncle?" Bobby nodded.

"I'll be out in a few minutes." she nodded and slid off the stool. Bobby and Jax watched until she was out of sight. "Get any kind of sense of what last night was about?" Jax looked back at the older man and shook his head.

"Cheap thrills according to her. I'd bet my bike that it was about getting Ope's attention." Bobby chuckled, nodding, sliding off of the bar stool.

"Well it looks like it worked. I saw him creeping back in there a little while ago. Might be a love connection." they laughed "I'd better get out there before the kid steals my bike." Jax nodded and watched Bobby head outside. He turned back to the bar, staring at the coffee in his hand, curious about the relationship his brother had with the kid... Just calling her a kid after what he saw her do last night felt wrong. It felt even worse when he remembered his reaction to the little performance.

_Shit, I guess she's not really a kid anymore._ he admitted to himself.

The trip to Stockton Penitentiary was fun. The long ride on the back of Bobby Munson's bike was relaxed. She kept her hands on his shoulders to assure him that she hadn't fallen off and she just reveled in the the feeling of the air whipping through her hair. She was almost sad when they arrived at the prison, but she was thrilled to see her Uncle.

They'd led her to a large room with tables scattered about, each of them seated an inmate and their loved ones. Big Otto was already waiting for her, he stood and hugged her tightly.

"God damn, who told you that you were allowed to grow up? When Jax said you were on your way up with Bobby, I was still picturing my little girl." he said gruffly.

"Sorry uncle Otto. If I didn't grow up, I wouldn't be here. Mom has excommunicated the club." Otto leaned on the table giving her a searching look.

"How's my darling sister?" he asked half heartedly.

"Fine. A psychotic bitch... but a fine one." they laughed. It felt good to talk to someone who understood how difficult and meaN her mother could be. As she stared at her uncle with her pale green eyes she knew he wouldn't judge her for her hatred of the woman.

"Yeah, I'm sure... What are you doing back in Charming?" she shrugged.

"I missed my family. I wanted some time way from my shit life. I wanted to learn how to ride Harley's and shoot guns. I have lots of reasons, pick one."

"I like the Harleys and guns answer. Gemma has some of my old shit, if that's the case, tell her I want you to have it. Do you some good to be able to handle yourself. Especially if you plan on sticking around SAMCRO." There was a bell going off at the doorway and all of the civilians began to stand up, hugging and kissing their inmate companions. "Shit. Visiting hours are up." Arika frowned and stood with her uncle and walked around the table to hug her uncle tightly.

"I'll come back soon okay?

"You better. No skipping town with saying goodbye understand?" the bell rang out again and Otto pushed his niece toward the door. "Don't get me in trouble!"

"You get yourself into enough trouble on your own." she shot over shoulder as she joined the herd of family being shepherded out of the door. She found Bobby in front of the prison, sitting on a bench near his bike and as he stood up, she just put her arms around him. She felt bad that she'd been away for so long, that the first time she say her uncle and they'd had less then twenty minutes together. The round man hugged her tightly back.

"You alright kid." he asked, loosening his grip, but not releasing her.

"I will be."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n: I have changed, deleted and re-written this chapter a million and one times! Along with the subsequent chapters I have been planning! I think I finally have the right mix of filler and plot. **

**I have gotten so many GREAT reviews and a million adds for this story and it's just a great feeling that people are enjoying my work that much! I can't give anything away at this point, but I hope that my readers are pleased with the outcome of this, even if it's not what they expected. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Sons... Stop reminding me! =P **

Life in the clubhouse was business as usual for the rest of the weekend. Arika impressed them all with her skill at pool and poker, collected a pretty chunk of change off of the club members from betting. No one expected a chick to play as well as she did.

The brunette woman enjoyed a break from the drama, but as Monday morning rolled around, she felt a heavy weight in her chest. Last night had been her deadline to go back home, but she didn't have the means to even if she wanted. Scott had something planned. He knew she was still in Charming, he or someone who worked for him had called the garage looking for her, but when Gemma said to hold on, the line went dead. It was pure luck that Arika even found out about the call, she'd been outside of the office when Gemma reported it to Jax. She was felt like she was drowning in a whirlwind of emotions, her chest on the verge of exploding with pressure. She took a few deep breath's, trying to rein in control over her emotions. There was a knock on her door and the breath's turned to gasps.

"J-Just a minute!" she called going into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

After a few moments of waiting in the hallway, Jax knocked again. When he didn't get an answer he walked into the room, smiling at the littering of clothes and packs of cigarettes on floor. It could have been a guys room if it wasn't for the sheer number of bras and skirts scatter about. None of his brothers were ever that lucky.

"Arika?" he called stepping through the mess to the bathroom door, knocking again.

"I'll be out in just a second." he heard some muttered swears, a drawer shut and the toilet flush before the door opened. "Can't a girl piss in peace in this place?" she said leaning casually against the doorframe. "What's the matter?" she asked noticing a grim look on his face.

"It's your car." she tilted her head.

"What about it, jesus Jax, you look like someone just died." it donned on her that perhaps someTHING was dead. "Fuck." she said walking over to the table and dropping into the chair there.

"I know it meant a lot to you, but it wasn't the head that got cracked. It was the engine block." she nodded

"It's fine. Maybe it's a sign that I'm not supposed to leave." her voice was level, like she hadn't just received bad news. Jax was shocked at how level she was. This morning she got pissed because she couldn't open a carton of milk, and stormed off near tears over it.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked standing up, looking down at her. That's when he notices a spot of blood on her denim skirt. "Where'd that blood come from?" she blinked at him, as if he hadn't just asked her a question. She looked down and over her right thigh she saw the blood he was referring to.

"Oh, that? Well I could tell you, but you'd rather not know." he frowned and then it clicked in his head and he laughed.

"Gross." she laughed at the expression on his face and stood up from the chair so that she was closer to eye level with him. "That only answered one question."

"I'll be okay Jax. Just..." she looked down at her hands and fiddled with a thread from the hem of her t-shirt.

"What is it darlin?" he put a hand under her chin and turned his gaze back to him.

"Work is gonna be pissed I'm not back. I was supposed to leave last night..." He was relieved that it was something to simple.

"Look sweetheart. I know you've only been back in town for a few days, but you are family. I don't know your situation, but no one around here is pushing to see you split. Fuck work. What's the worse they can do, give you a pink slip?" her laugh was bitter, and she ran a hand over her face.

"I wish it was that simple." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"You been using my shampoo?" he asked catching a familiar whiff, and wanting to ease her tension a little.

"Oh, I didn't know it was yours. I just used whatever was in the shower." her answer was casual but not entirely truthful. She knew who the shampoo belonged to, but didn't give a damn. "That's okay right?"

"Be my guest. Look, I have about five more cars to get through today, so I have to get back to the garage. If you want, have Half-Sack take you to my house and you can take use the truck till we get you something more permanent." he pulled out his keys and separated a couple from the rest of the set and handed them to her.

"Thanks. I thought I was going to go a little stir crazy being cooped here."

"Just don't go skipping town with it okay?" he teased. She snapped her fingers in mock disappointment, and the second he was out of sight she sighed, dropping into the keys on the table and flopping into the bed. The last thing she needed was to add more shit to her plate. What was she going to do without a car? Jax's truck worked fine for bumming about in Charming, but she had a feeling that sooner rather then later she was going to be back to good old Seneca, Oregon and wasn't looking forward to being trapped without a vehicle. She rolled on her side and stared at the keys on the table, then the clock on the wall. Gemma usually served dinner about seven thirty, so she had three hours before she had to be somewhere. She could easily walk to Jax's house and still have time for a few rounds of pool before dinner with Gemma. She tossed the idea around in her head for a few minutes before hoping up out of bed and grabbing up the keys, making a bee line for the door. Arika almost walked right out of the clubhouse before she realized that she wasn't entirely sure how to get to Jax's house from here. Tig and Chibs were the only ones in the room, both sitting on a couch by the television.

"One you boys good a giving directions?" she asked leaning over the back of the couch, bating her eye lashes at them.

"Aye, we're good at giving them, doesn't mean women are good at following him." Chibs retorted. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Where you need directions to doll? I didn't know Jax finished the honda." Tig turned so that his back was to the arm of the couch instead of her.

"He hasn't... Well he can't. Something about a cracked engine block." both men winced as if she'd hit them. "He's letting me borrow the truck for running around town. I just have to go get it."

"Who's takin ya to Jackie boys?"

"I was just going to walk. You know, fresh air? I'm about to die from that old biker smell." she teased waving a hand in front of her face.

"I dunno, you get lost out there and Otto will have LuAnn shoving shit up our asses at Cara Cara till we find you." She made a face at Tig.

"Overly graphic as usual Tiggy." she complained. "This is Charming. I can shoot a hunting rifle from one end of town to the other! I could find it on my own, I just thought you guys my wanna help a girl out." Chibs looked at Tig and shrugged. She had a point.

"Well if you are going out, take this with you." Tig handed her a small cheap looking cell phone. "Everyone is in there. So if you get lost, you can call for help."

"Puh-lease! Like I would give you the satisfaction of asking for help!"

"Don't be such a girl princess. We're just lookin out for ya." Chibs interjected.

"Fine! You two will be the first ones I call... Can one of you just tell me where I am going?" the chuckled at her impatience then described her route to Jax's house, arguing over the names of streets and what which turns were lefts, and which ones were rights. By the end of the fifteen minute conversation, she and boiled it down to which way to turn according to landmarks, and felt like Dora the Explorer as she chanted the landmarks in her mind so as not to forget.

It was slightly nerve racking to drive Jax's rather large pick up truck, but she was enjoying the ability to see the sights around town without the roar of a Harley announcing her presence. She liked the low profile of the truck. She parked and walked around from little store to little store, marveling at how such a little town survived and operated within itself.

She was walking back to the truck when her prepaid rang. She looked at the caller id to see just a G. She answered.

"Tig's phone." she said in case it wasn't who she thought it was.

"Hey baby girl. Keeping out of trouble in the dragon's nest?" her guess was correct, the biker queen was on the other end.

"I suppose. I am actually out and about right now. No dragons around here."

"Don't let their absence fool you sweetheart. My boys have eyes everywhere." Arika didn't doubt that for a second. "Any chance you can come by the house? I have some stuff I wanna give you." Arika shrugged her shoulders, her final destination tonight was going to be Gemma's house later, why not spend some quality time with her second aunt.

"Yeah. I am over on..." she looked around. "Main I think... Can you give me directions?" Gemma rattled off the directions and Arika once again began to chant them in her head as they bid each other goodbye. She went back to the truck, something caught her eye though. She paused as a dark green car drove down the street slower then usual. She ducked behind the truck and felt foolish for it moment later. She was being paranoid, there's no reason Scott would have sent someone to Charming already. She was supposed to be back this morning and he was arrogant enough to think that she'd listen... She would have listened if her car hadn't kicked the bucket...

It took Arika three times as long to find Gemma's house as it should have. She had completely forgotten the directions that she'd been given and was sort of just driving around the Charming suburb's until she spotted the house. As she pulled into the driveway she pushed any thought of Scott out of her mind. Gemma was sitting on the steps of the front porch when Arika slipped from the truck.

"Jax let you take Sasha out for a ride?" Gemma looked impressed as she exhaled her cigarette. "He doesn't like it when I drive her."

"I think he's got mechanics guilt. My car is deader then he thought." the younger woman said, sitting beside the older one.

"How much deader?"

"Like scrap metal dead." Gemma winced and Arika shrugged. "It was old and beat to hell anyhow. I just don't know how to find another one."

"You gonna have a job when you head back home? Didn't your prick boss want you back home this morning?" Arika shrugged again.

"I don't think my boss is gonna just let me walk away from my position."

"You talk like he owns you or something baby." She shrugged again and Gemma sighed. "Don't just 're SAMCRO, no one owns you. It doesn't matter if he's giving you diamonds or dick, no man has claim on you."

"So what'cha have for me? I love presents!" Arika chirped to change the subject away from her home life. Gemma reached behind her and pulled a flowered hat box into her lap that had a big O drawn in the middle of the top.

"I took a care package to Otto this morning with LuAnn, he said that he wanted you to have these. And learn how to use them." She opened the box and handed it over to Arika who's eyes got big as she looked into the box of guns. There were six guns in the box, most of them large pistols except two that were small enough they could be easily tucked into a sock for backup. On top of the pile of guns was a KA-BAR knife in a leather sheath with the SoA reaper imprinted on the front. She picked it up and felt it's weight.

"I was always a fan of these knifes." she said pulling the blade free and studying it. Despite being unused for years it was still razor sharp. Gemma cleared her throat to pull Arika out of her love affair with the knife.

"I was thinking we could go to the shooting range and I could teach you a thing or two." Arika set the knife in her lap and pulled a glock out of the gun pile, dropped the clip to check for ammo, slammed it back in and aimed down the sights.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm a little rusty these days." she said looking at Gemma who had a raised eyebrow.

"So I guess you are a little more experienced with guns then Otto let on then?" Arika shrugged and Gemma put a hand on her shoulders. "If you shrug at me one more time, I might deck you." They laughed and Arika stood up, dropping the gun back into the box carefully and picking up the knife.

"Sorry about that... Force of habit. Are we gonna take your car or the truck?"

"The car, that way Jax doesn't have to worry about his girl." Arika raised an eyebrow. "The truck I mean." Gemma said looking down at Arika who was in flats, and shorter then the matron who was wearing high heels.

"Of course." the younger girl didn't bat an eye as she dropped into the car. Gemma was trying to bait her into something. What is was, Arika wasn't sure, but she wasn't giving anything up.

When the Sons arrived, dinner had only just been started. Gemma and Arika had spent the afternoon at the shooting range, then lounging around, Gemma drinking a bottle of wine that she'd blatantly refused Arika so much a simple taste of. The two women sat on the couch trading stories about life. The younger woman opted to listen more then to share. It was difficult for Arika to find stories that were vanilla enough that she felt comfortable sharing with the Queen Bee. The SoA mother was in the middle of an embarrassing childhood story of Jax and Opie when the roar of Harley's announced the arrival of the men. They were a rowdy bunch as they spilled through the door.

"When's dinner Gem? I'm starved!" Tig asked flopping onto the couch beside Arika and winking at her.

"Should be done in about an hour."

"An hour? What happened to promptly at seven?" Clay complained.

"I had a busy day with our little marksman here." Gemma said gesturing to Arika. "I pity the asshole who meets are and a loaded gun."

"Ya know how to handle a gun then princess?" Chibs asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.

"I do alright." she said blushing from the wine and attention.

"Alright? Alright?" Gemma got up, swaying slightly and marched off into the kitchen. "'scuse me son. I need to borrow these." Jax looked up from the targets that were piled on the kitchen table, he'd needed to make a phone call and slipped into the house through the kitchen door to avoid the noise of his brothers.

"Wanna brag about your good day?" he teased.

"Not mine, Arika's." she said as she darted out to the living room again. There were oo's and ah's and Jax couldn't help but feel a little impressed and a little bit of pride. Once upon a time ago, during her last visit Arika had begged and begged for Jax to take her shooting. When he finally gave in, she was so thrilled and such a serious student.

"_No darlin, you need to keep both eyes open when you aim. Aiming with one eye is just a wives tale." he chided as she armed at the cans thirty feet away. "And you arms are all wrong." she sighed and dropped the gun. _

"_I'm no good at this Jax." she whined._

"_You need practice." _

"_I need a miracle! I haven't his a single can all day!" She said waving one hand while keeping the gun hand pointed at the ground. At least she was getting SOMETHING right. _

"_Come on, keep working on it." he said standing behind her and guiding her arms upward to aim again. She sighed, in frustration he was sure, and let him mold her arms into the correct position. "Now you don't want to lock your elbows, you wanna be able to take the kick so it doesn't completely fuck up your shot." he said leaning over her and massaging her arm so that it was loose. "Both eyes on the prize..." his voice was softer now. "Aim..." she adjusted the gun and before he could give the next direction she squeezed the trigger. The can flew off of the beam it was sitting on and she gasped. _

"_I did it. I just shot the can!" she said turning and throwing her arms around Jax's neck. "Thank you! That was amazing. Let me try again." he laughed at her enthusiasm and nodded. _

"_Keep at it sweetheart." _

If those target sheets belonged to her then she had been applying his lessons and was quite the shot. He shook the memories away and walked out into the living room, smiling at her obviously embarrassed expression. Arika was bright red, sandwiched between Chibs and Tig now who were admiring one of the sheets where it appeared that she had shot a capital latter "A".

"When is dinner ma?" he asked dropping into one of the hard backed chairs by a bookshelf. Gemma rolled her eyes as the guys laughed having just explain this to the rest of the group, she wasn't going to explain it again.

Arika was relieved to be back in he solitude of the clubhouse apartment. As she laid down on the patchwork quilt spread over the bed. She'd dropped the flowered hat box on the table in the corner, and set the KA-BAR knife on top. She stared into the darkness above her just reliving the beautifully normal day she'd had in Charming... In her head the birds sung a pretty song and and sun was shining brighter and warmer then in reality. For the first time since she was a teenager she felt lighthearted and carefree and, dare she even think it? Normal. She put a hand over her thigh and tapped the denim of her skirt. She felt the tug of reality pulling at her toes, wanting her to come back down. The truth was Charming would be her destruction. Every moment she spent here she felt her control slipping away from her. The protective bikers that she called family were taking it away from her one way at a time. She was sneaking the booze that she used to self medicate... She was sneaking a lot of things under the nose of her watchdogs. Sneaking and hiding was something that she was good at after all of these years. She heaved a heavy sigh and rubbed her forehead. How could she be carefree and keep of her shit contained? She rolled out of the bed and walked around the room, listening to her feet scuffling over the cement floor, the sound of her breathing, the coolness of the air. She drank it all in and slowly started to strip off her clothes before she fell back onto the bed taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, letting herself sink into emptiness. Arika had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow, but one thing was for certain, all of the shit would still be there when the sun came up.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n: I feel like I am not stretching this out long enough, but I feel like what I do have is decently written... I might be making a lot of short installments of the same story... I dunno, I have a Tig centric story bouncing around my head... **

**This chapter sheds some light of the weird shit Opie is obsessing over with Arika, and a little bit of history. It's a bit graphic and pretty crazy. Feedback would be awesome. There is potential for a lot more crazy... But I'm not sure if ya'll can handle it. =P **

**Disclaimer: Don't own SoA :{**

Arika wasn't sure where the time had gone. She'd been in Charming an entire week now, and hadn't felt to relaxed in her entire life. It hadn't all been just sitting around on her ass, she'd helped out in the garage doing some office work and minor oil changes to free up the mechanics for the bigger jobs. She couldn't remember the last time that she'd felt to at peace with the world. In the presence of the Sons she felt safe and free to do whatever the hell she wanted. She didn't have to ask for permission to do something, dress a certain way, didn't have to work in Scott's sleazy club. The only thing she had to worry about was Opie's overbearing attitude as he hovered over her Friday afternoon. She wasn't sure why he'd suddenly been overtaken by a severe case of static cling so she didn't waste the chance to confront him at the first moment they were away from anyone else.

"What's your deal?" she asked as he flopped onto the couch beside her, taking Juice's place as Clay yelled at him for something he misplaced in the garage.

"What do you mean?" he asked glancing sideways at her.

"I mean, why the fuck have you been up my ass all afternoon?" he shrugged and she kicked him lightly, sitting with her back against the arm of the couch facing him. He shrugged again and she growled.

"I just don't want a repeat of last week." he said finally, not looking at her. "I can't handle seeing you drunk, and tonight there's gonna be a party." He admitted. She sighed and shook her head.

"I can't handle you being up my ass." she said finally. "I know you've got this image of me in your head as some screwed up little teenager, but can you honestly tell me you are the same person you were 5 years ago?" she asked. He finally turned to her, staring at her, thinking over the answer, not happy that it was going to support the argument she was about to make. He shook his head. "You have to understand that my shit is really - REALLY - upside down. Drinking takes the edge off." he shook his head again.

"If you got drunk and hurt yourself again I wouldn't be able to forgive myself." he said in a low voice leaning on her legs. "I smell booze on your breath and the next think I feel is sickness, the same that I felt when I saw what you did." he explained putting a hand on her stomach. She sighed and her head rolled back and she stared up at the ceiling. She wished she could undo that stupid day.

'_It's pointless!' she thought as she stared in the mirror, hating everything about the reflection staring back at her. 'What would a Son ever see in a THING like me?' something was going down in Charming and the family of the club had all been directed to stay in the complex on lockdown. She hadn't had much difficulty getting her hands on some booze, the sweet taste of peach schnapps appealed to her. Perhaps she'd gotten just a bit carried away though. Her head was swimming as she stumbled into the bathroom, stripping off her shirt, leaving her in just a bra on top. She looked at her pale face in the mirror and punched the glass. It cracked and she laughed at herself, or at least her reflection laughed at her. She wasn't even able to break a fucking mirror. What a little bitch! She looked at the sliver of glass that had fallen into the sink and picked it up. Her reflection was still mocking her and it was as if she'd lost control of her body, the other her in the mirror was controlling her hands as she began to etch the insults onto her pale stomach. The biting sting was refreshing as her skin parted under the shard's razor like edge. All of the shit in her head started to clear and as she finished cutting the words worthless and ugly into her skin she felt down right happy again. She grabbed some toilet paper, swaying in her still drunken state and pressed it to her stomach as she sat down on the toilet. After a few minutes she checked on the cuts, they'd almost stopped bleeding, fewer red dots were pooling on the surface. She appreciated the sight of a little bit of blood. She'd never been good with her emotions, anything that overwhelmed her had to be turned into something manageable... Those little red dots were manageable. She could summon them and dismiss them at will. The stinging bite of a new cut was like opening up and letting out all of the bad shit that seemed to find it's way in, but never could escape without a little bit of razor blade therapy. She wiped away the blood again and sighed. No more little droplets appeared and she suddenly felt tired in her new relaxed state. She dropped the glass in the trash and went out into the bedroom, flopping into bed in just her shorts. _

_The knock on the door made her want to shoot herself. Her head was pounding all on it's own and she cringed. _

"_Come in. Jesus Christ, just come in." she groaned rolling onto her back, pulling a pillow over her head. _

"_Gemma wants... What the fuck?" she uncovered her face and looked up at Opie who was standing in the doorway a look of horror on his face. She followed his gaze down to her stomach and blanched. _

"_Ope I can explain." she said pushing herself up to her knees, but that proved to much for her dehydrated system and she felt like she was going to vomit. She put a hand up and got off the bed, barely making it to the toilet before she yakked. She heard the door close and heavy boots crossing the room to the bathroom as she clung to the porcelain bowl pushing her hair back out of her face. She felt rather then saw him kneel beside her and pull back her hair as she emptied her stomach. _

"_Jesus." he muttered as she started to dry heave, her wounds aching as her stomach contracted. "What did you do to yourself?" he asked softly. "Why would you do this?" she coughed and groaned and finally, once the heave stopped she flopped back against the cool smoothness of the bathtub. _

"_I need to get all of the bad shit out." she whispered, her throat raw from throwing up. _

"_So you try to kill yourself?" he sitting back, staring at her in disbelief. He knew that the fifteen year old girl had a rough lot in life. He dad had been a shit head drug addict who beat the shit out of her and her mother until he finally bailed on them. Joslyn had always been a bitter c-rag and treated the girl like shit as well. He suspected being pulled away from her life in Charming hadn't helped matters either, but he couldn't understand why she'd try to kill herself. He pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. _

"_What are you doing?" _

"_Calling Gemma." despite how sick she felt, she moved damn fast snatching the phone out of his hand, he tried to take it back but she tossed it into the toilet._

"_What? God no! I am just hung over as fuck. I didn't try to kill myself Ope. Listen-" he shook his head and stood up. _

"_I can't deal with this." he started for the door. "Gemma will have my ass if I don-" she grabbed his hand, on her knees. _

"_Opie please. Please, please, please just listen for two minutes and let me explain." he looked back down and the desperation in her eyes made him hesitate. _

"_You have one." _

"_I was drunk, and I felt like shit and I had to let it out. I did it badly. I'm sorry, but I just had to get the shit out before I did eat lead" she explained, not releasing his hand. _

"_You were drunk?" she nodded. He shook his head slowly. "I don't know if I can just sit on this Arika. This is some heavy shit. I mean, it's not right." _

"_It's the only way I can get myself back in control. I was in a tailspin and about to go down in flames... This saved me from a melt down." she said gesturing at her belly where the fresh wounds kind of shined in the sunlight that came through the window over the shower. "But I am back in control and I won't do this again. I swear. If you take this to the club, I am gonna be shipped home and never allowed back because I can't handle my shit. Please." she had tears streaming down her face now and he felt bad for her. She was right, the club would ship her home thinking that the stress of what was going on was the cause, she'd be practically shunned by the only family she had that didn't treat her like scum. He pulled her up to her feet and embraced her tightly. _

"_I'll keep your secret." he whispered into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. "But this is your only pass." he added. She sobbed her thanks into his chest and they stood there like that, her half naked, crying her relief into his chest, him holding her trying to make the hurt stop for her and for himself. This girl had always been like a little sister to him, to see her harming herself was heartbreaking. _

Arika felt him squeeze her hand and she blinked away the memory and looked back at him. She just stared at him and realized that he'd been replaying that day in his head. She could tell by the fear in his eyes, the same fear that she'd seen on the floor of that bathroom.

"I'm not the person anymore Opie. I'm an adult and I know how to keep my shit contained." she said finally. "I'm sorry that I put you through that, that I made you hold onto that secret... But I wouldn't be here if it had played out any other way. You helped pull my head out of my ass that summer. You got to be my super hero." she squeezed his hand back as she spoke. "I just wish like hell you'd stop seeing me like a god damn victim." he took a deep breath.

"Get a room you two." Clay said as he walked into the clubhouse to see him laying over her legs, holding her hand. Opie sat up and scooted back to his side of the couch, Arika just laughed. "We gonna have to keep you way from the girls tonight kid?" the old man said leaning over the back of the couch. "The sweetbutt hasn't shown her face here since you're little performance."

"I'll be on my best behavior tonight. Scouts honor." she said holding up her hand. He shook his head.

"Don't think a boy scout oath works for a chick." she grinned up at him.

"I'll keep that in mind." she wriggled her eyebrows and he cursed with a chuckle before walked away to the chapel. She looked back at the brunette with the top knot and smiled hopefully at him. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah." he said gruffly, getting to his feet. "I gotta take a piss before church. Behave." she rolled her eyes. Sometimes she forgot that she was in clubhouse full of bikers, but their blunt nature had a way of reminding her. It wasn't a bad thing... But it was amusing.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n: I realized my problem is that I don't write out enough of what goes on behind the scenes. I've never been very good at the filler stuff. That's why all of my chapters are short... Too short maybe? I would really love some feedback, even it it's critical. I just want to know how my readers are feeling about the story! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Sons. **

The clubhouse was practically shaking from the pulsing music. The main room was more crowded then usual on a typical Friday night party. Apparently a pack of nomads were in the area, and had shown up. To accommodate the new man to whore ratio, Clay had asked Luann to invite some of her girls. They had flooded the place pussy. Arika was sitting on the bar between Happy and Jax's stool listening to them shout at each other about something biker-ish. She didn't pay much attention, she was looking across the room at Opie who was in some deep conversation with Juice and Half-Sack. He glanced at her and she raised the beer bottle she was holding up in a silent toast to his new found trust in her drinking abilities.

"And then she was about to go down on her but Opie dragged her off." Jax said slapping her thigh. "Clay put me in charge of making sure she doesn't go around scaring off anymore good pussy." the blonde joked with the tanned assassin.

"What? Does he think you're immune to my charms?" she shouted over the music. "I mean I guess you did say good pussy, I mean, you can be a pussy, but there's nothing good about you." she teased. Happy barked with laughter and shook his head.

"She doesn't pull any punches now does she?" the Tacoma killer said looking up at her. She'd dressed a touch more modest then she had at last weeks party, but she'd still dressed for the part in a pair of jeans that hugged her curves and a simple black tank top with just a hint of white lace sticking out from around the edges.

"Never! I know Teller deserves it." she said ruffling his blonde hair. "You on the other hand, I'm not so sure... What kind of biker goes by the name Happy?" she asked running a hand through her long brunette hair. Happy glanced at Jax who shrugged and swigged his beer. Happy stood and raised his shirt along his hip there was a herd of little smiley faces.

"Killer service with a smile." he said blandly. She traced the little faces.

"So you're the club hitter?" she asked looking at Jax, he nodded. "It's still a ridiculous name." she said in a matter of fact tone, retracting her hand. "Who's afraid of a smiley face?" she slipped off the bar to discover that she was almost a head shorter then the man. It was difficult to look tough when you had to look up at someone.

"People with common sense." she giggled and walked around him and around the end of the bar to fetch something else to drink.

"I guess I never had much of that. I let this one talk me into stealing a pie from Gemma once. 'You're cute and young, she can't stay mad at you.' he said." she pulled three more beers from under the bar and set the extras in front of the men. "Queen bitch had me cooking so many pies, to this day, just the sight of cherry pies makes me queasy." she declared.

"Queen bitch huh?" Jax smirked at the nickname. "Fits." they all laughed and touched the mouths of their bottles together.

"Excuse me, I'm not under pussy restriction." Happy said standing up. "And I see a particularly entertaining crow eater just begging for my attention." He nodded at the mother charter's VP "Jax, Nutjob." he said nodding to the girl who was leaning over the bar. She stuck her tongue out and smiled. Jax watched him go then turned back to the bar. Arika moved back to the same side of the bar as Jax and they had begun talking about Call of Duty when a particularly trampy looking blonde came up behind Jax throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"Jax. Just the Son I was looking for." she crooned sliding in between Jax and Arika like she didn't even exist.

"Ima." he said, looking her up and down. She looked the part of a porn star, ridiculous heels, a dress that barely covered anything, and large hoops in her ears that Jax never quite understood the appeal of.

"When are you gonna give me that ride you promised?" Arika gagged as she watched the girl toy with Jax's cut. "I can't stop thinking about it."

"I'm in the middle of something at the moment darlin." he said trying to peal her off of him. Arika shook her head and stood up.

"No, it's fine. I need some air anyway." she said patting Jax's hand.

"At least that one knows how it works." Arika paused at Ima's words and clenched her hands. She wanted to turn and tell the bitch off but she reframed. Any misconduct and she'd be banned from the parties and maybe even booze. She struggled through the crowded room, wishing that she had some sort MC marking on her because more than once she felt a hand grab her ass. She'd almost made it through the sea of bikers and porn personalities when someone grabber her arms. She looked over her shoulder to see someone unfamiliar holding her firmly, guiding her toward the door.

"Who the fuck are you?" she asked trying to pull out of his grasp.

"Shut up bitch." he hissed in her ear. He pushed for her to move fast but she locked her legs and pressed back against him. "Move your ass or I'm gonna fuck your shit." he said shoving harder. One of the hands released her as they got close to the doorway, her still fighting again him as he dragged her along. He shoved a picture in front of her face and she held her breath. "Move or I fine the nearest Son and start playing show and tell." she snatched the picture out of his hand and looked around making sure no one had seen as she made for the door.

She gulped in the chilled night air as she fell out into the open night. Arika had managed to pull free of her captor but didn't try to make a run for it or make a scene. She was afraid that he had more of these pictures on him and wasn't bluffing about sharing.

"Scott sent you?" she asked as she turned to face the man, getting a better look at him. He was a punk through and through from his pierced nose and black spiked hair with frosted red tips.

"I just know that I'm supposed to take you out of the the sight of prying eyes and deliver a message." He advanced on her and she backed away until she was against the wall of the clubhouse. She swallowed hard as her back hit the cement wall. He wasted no time, catching her hands and pressing them over her head. Once he'd pinned her with one hand, he used the other to tug at her pants.

"You're a fucking amateur" she spat as he struggled with the button of her pants. He backhanded her and she rolled with the blow to soften it but it stung.

"Shut up cunt." he growled.

"Fuck you." she hissed bringing up a knee, and landing a blow to his delicate bits. He yelped and released her falling back a few steps as he doubled over in pain. She took advantage and delivered an upper cut to his face. He fell backward and she was on top of him in an instant. She delivered a back hand of her own with a closed fist and he went still. Either he was playing dead, or she'd really knocked his ass out. She was praying it was the latter as she felt around on the man for any more pictures. She found her price and stood up tucking the stack of pictures into the back pocket of her jeans. She looked down on the man and kicked him harshly in the ribs. He grunted and turned on his side whimpering. She knelt down and grabbed him by the hair. "Tell Scott that I'm fucking dead... And unless he wants to be dead too he backs the fuck off." her tone was deadly. She felt arms around her waist and screamed as she was hoisted into the air.

"Told ya we shouldn't have sent the fucking kid in." another strange man spoke. Covering the girls mouth with a hand to silence her, tightening his grip , dragging her around the corner of the building while she violently "Come here and help me would ya?" Another man appeared in front of her and back handed her again on the opposite cheek then her first attacker, she was too dazed by the strong blow to get a good look at him.

"Listen you little bitch. The bosses patients are running out. You show for your shift on Monday or..." the man ripped open her pants and shoved a hand in her panties, caressing her dry folds. "Contract will be null and void." he pressed a finger against her opening but then withdrew his hand and his partner dropped her. Her legs gave out and she crumpled to the ground. She looked up to try to see her attackers, but she was hit on the top of the head with something hard and she hit the ground.

She woke up feeling dazed, the side of her face throbbing as she pushed herself over onto her face, tenderly testing the black eye the second backhand had surely given her. She pressed the bruise harder and took long, soothing breaths. It took her several minutes to get the courage to move. She didn't think that her attackers were still around, but she was afraid of what the bikers would do when she walked through the doors of the clubhouse. She sighed as pulled herself up to her feet and trudged around the corner of the clubhouse, redoing the button of her jeans. She wasn't sure how long she'd been out, but the club was quite a bit less crowded. She made a bee-line for her dorm.

"Hey kid-" Happy said catching her arm. "Jax was just looking for you." he said pulling her around toward the couches where he, Bobby and Tig were entertaining their crow eaters, she looked over her shoulder, not really trying to see anything, but rather just trying to conceal the looming bruise on her cheek.

"Oh, thanks. I'll go find him." she went to step away but Tig got up from the couch, dumping the blonde in his lap to the floor.

"Jesus christ doll, What happened to your face?" he asked grabbing her chin and turning her face so that the other men could see it in the dim light. She slapped the hand away.

"Nothing. Just walked into a wall."

"A wall in the shape of someones fist maybe." Bobby said standing up for a better look. "Hey, Chibs!" the fat man shouted, waving the scotsman over. Arika was turned to face the man with the scared cheeks and she sighed as he took her chin.

"Who the fuck did this?" he asked looking around the room as if someone would raise their hand. "Any other injuries?" The battle field medic asked grabbing her hands to inspect the swelling.

"No. Listen, I'm fine." she said firmly pushing his hand away too. "I just need some space to breathe okay?" she asked pushing against Chibs to move him out of her way. "Thanks." she said appreciatively when he didn't fight her or try to stop her so that she could go hide in the dorm.

When she reached her room she locked the door behind herself and threw herself on the bed. She stared at the ceiling, pressing on the bruise on her face, relishing at the twinge of pain as she chased ideas around her head of what she was going to do. Scott was pressing hard and had managed to do so in such a way that she was sure that the carefree life she'd been living up in Charming was about to go up in smoke. In the morning questions were going to be asked, and she didn't have any answers that she was willing to share with the brothers.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know this is a painfully short chapter, but it's just a little transition to the next which I am hoping to be able to get up here soon! I am getting batter with writing longer chapters, but right now I am just posting this little tid-bit to hold you over till the good stuff gets going! **

**Disclaimer: SoA doesn't belong to me! **

The clubhouse was full of pulsing music still. She slipped from her bed, shuffling down the hall, following the music, but the lights were off and a disco ball and florescent colored spotlights flashed all around. It she was surprised that the party was still going on at the late hour it must have been. As she entered the main room, she was shocked at how empty it was. There was one person in the room, sitting in front of the small stage with a stripper pole on it, taking a long drag off of a cigarette. She moved toward it, smiling at him, climbing on the stage, grabbing the pole and spinning around it.

"Hey beautiful." he spoke in a whisper but she somehow heard it over the pounding music. She put her back to the pole, to him, sliding down it, looking down at herself, wondering when she'd changed into sexy lingerie. She put her hands on the ground as she extended her legs, pressing her ass against the pole, taunting him.

"That ass belongs to me." she turned and saw someone else standing on the edge of the stage, and her pulse raced. She glanced back to the couch, and the man there didn't seem to have eyes for anyone but her.

"Go away." she growled as she swayed her hips to the music, wrapping a leg around the pole and spinning again.

"What?" the man on the couch asked standing up.

"No, not you. Stay. Please baby." she said leaning down over, letting her cleavage hang in front of his eyes. "I don't ever want you to go away." she kissed his forehead and turned to resume her dance.

"You're just a fucking whore. Nothing ever changes, you can't run from yourself."

"Fuck you." she gasped, performing a complicated move on the pole that left her hanging upside down. "I hate you. I'm not going to be anyones whore."

"I don't want you to be my whore, but guess I'll just go then. I'm not into the mind games." the man standing in front of the stage said turning his back on her and storming toward the door, but it seemed further away then usual. Arika tried to right the mistake, tried to follow him but as she righted herself she was chained to the pole and she couldn't move.

The man on the stage put a gun to the side of her head, letting the cold metal of it slide down along her cheek, down her neck...

"Just pull the fucking trigger you piece of shit." she spat at him. "Unless you're not man enough for it?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you? For me to kill you right here... Put you out of your misery." he jabbed the gun hard into her ribs. "What use do I have for a dead whore?" he hissed softly. "Especially when you're so special." the cold metal caressed her ass now before her hips were jerked back so they pressed against his. Scott's arms wrapped around her, the empty hand pressing between her legs and the gun pressing into her tits.

"What's so special?" she asked, the biker she was watching was almost to the door.

"You're a whore with virtue." The gun hand dropped between her legs as well the metal pressed against her most private place. "Or at least you were."

_BANG BANG BANG! _

She screamed, sitting bolt up right in her bed. There was another series of bangs on the bedroom door.

"Arika, answer me! Open the god damn door!" she recognized the VP's voice as he pounded on the door again and rolled out of bed, trying to ignore her shaking legs. All of her was shaking she realized as she fumbled with the deadbolt of the door. As soon he heard the click of the lock being undone Jax burst into the room. "God damn." he said, mimicking what his brothers had done, taking her chin to turn her face so that he could see the now deep purple welt on the right side of her face. "Ope is gonna go ballistic. Who did this?" He asked, stuffing his hand in his pockets as she pulled away to close the door.

"Don't know. It was dark. Some dick with red highlights dragged me outside, put me against the wall and roughed me up... I gave him his though." she said in a deadpan tone. "I have a black eye, but I'm fine."

"That scream didn't seem fine." he said following her as she tried to walk away from him. He grabbed her elbow and held her arm up. "That shaking doesn't seem fine." she ignored him and picked up the knife her uncle had passed down to her clipping it to the waist of the jeans she'd slept in. She was too frazzled to think about changing clothes.

Jax growled and grabbed her again, spinning her and nearly throwing her against the wall. "Talk to me." it meant to be a command, but it sounded like a plea.

"There's nothing to say. I told you what happened, the guy took off." She looked up at the ceiling, willing the tears that she could feel welling up to just go away. "Please just leave me alone Jax." The blonde shook his head and took her still trembling hand.

"I was supposed to be watching out for you last night, and you come in with a black eye... What am I supposed to tell Opie when he finds out?" she closed her eyes and jerked her hand away, shaking her head.

"You just don't fucking get it." she whispered before she shoved past him, and stormed out of the room, not stopping or slowing down for anyone she passed until she was out in the sun outside. She stood there for a moment looking around. She felt crazed, her head and chest full of so much shit. She wanted to turn the knife on her hip on herself but she couldn't. Opie would never forgive her and she'd be outed... She looked down as she realized that she'd pulled the knife already and squeezed the handle tightly. This wasn't good. She was loosing her shit. She was loosing the second chance that she'd been looking for... She was going to loose everything and end up back home, being trapped in hell. She couldn't do it. She couldn't let it happen, she had to find a way to put an end to it all.

A hand wrapped around the one she was gripping the knife with and she jumped. Jax was standing over her shoulder trying to coax the knife out of her hand. She let him take it, knowing in that moment of clarity that she couldn't be trusted with it. He tossed it aside and turned her, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. She broke down. Arika's fear poured from her eyes. It wasn't about the attack like Jax assumed it was, it was about being trapped back in her old life after having a taste of sweet beautiful freedom.

"Come on, let's get out of here." he said looking around, wondering where she'd been attacked out here, thinking it couldn't be good for her to be so close to where she'd been a victim. She nodded and pulled away, going to pick up the knife he'd thrown away. She shoved it back in the sheath and handed it to him. "You good to ride?" she just nodded.

She wasn't entirely sure how she'd ended up, asleep on Jax's shoulder, or how she'd managed not to be woken when he carried her to the bedroom and laid her down. As she woke in the tornado struck room, she tried not to let the panic take over her. She put a hand to her black eye and gingerly pressed on it, focusing on the pain the touch produced instead of the screaming in her head. She laid like this until she felt like she was under control of her emotions enough to rejoin the real world. She kicked aside the covers and rolled out of the bed, she was almost to the door when it opened.

"You're awake." Opie said, surprised. "You sleep okay? I was just coming to check on you." he explained, stepping into the room and closing the door behind himself. "Jax told me what happened." he stepped close and put a hand on the side of her face, turning it toward the light for a better look.

"I'm fine Ope." she told him, pushing his hand away. "Bitch hits like a girl. Gemma glares harder then this." they laughed and he shook his head at her.

"You never let shit phase you do you?" she shrugged.

"It phases me... But I don't let it control me. Only person who controls me is me baby." she pointed at herself with her thumbs.

"You need a little help getting some control this morning?" she tilted her head, going tense. "Jax told me you pulled a knife during your little freak out this morning." he touched her arms "Need to tell me something?"

"Yeah, back the fuck off." she snapped, jerking away from his touch. "Un-fucking-believable. I was attacked last night and you are more worried about me hurting myself? Are you kidding me?"

"The club can keep you safe from the shit head who hit you Arika, they don't even know they need to be protecting you from you." she clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes at him.

"You're an asshole."

"I know, but I'm an asshole who gives a shit about you like it or not."

"I choose not." she tried to sidestep around him but he put an arm out and caught her.

"You sure there's nothing more to tell about this bruise?" she looked down at his arm the up at him.

"If you wanna keep it, you better move it." her tone was low and steely. He moved it, holding his hands up and letting her pass without trying to stop her again.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: AHHH! I am facing the great wall of China made up of writing blocks! I am trying to muscle through it, but it is not easy! *sigh* **

**I would like to give a shout out to Straight Edge Queen for being the only consistent reviewer! I really appreciate it! **

**And as always, a big thanks to my newer readers who added this story to their alerts and favorites! **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything to do with SOA... I just like using them as my puppets... Sexy badass biker puppets... **

The room was silent as they watched the surveillance tape of the front door to the club house. They watched Arika be dragged out, then they slipped from view of the camera as he shoved her against the wall for just a moment before he fell backwards back into the frame, she climbed on top of him and delivered a harsh blow.

"Good for her!" Chibs said slapping the table.

"What s she doing? What'd she just take off of the guy?" Tig asked pausing the tape. Juice leaned in close to the laptop and shook his head.

"Can't see, it's too dark."

"So it happened just like she said. Guy pulled her out, roughed her up, and she cleaned his clock." Clay stated, his tone hopeful. "We find the piece of shit and we clean him off of the face of the earth."

"That's not right. Look at the time stamp." Happy said pointing. "That was toward the beginning of the night, she didn't come back in until almost two. Something else happened. Hit play." Juice followed the assassins directions and they watched as she stood up, tucking the item in her back pocket before delivering a hard kick to the mans gut.

"Turn around baby girl, turn around!" Piney whispered as they watched another man walk into the frame. He grabbed her tightly from behind, and carrying her off screen. Four minutes passed, and two men, a new face accompanying the first attacker, walked back into the screen, picked up their beaten friend, and left. Arika didn't reappear. Juice hit fast forward, stopping it only when Arika reappeared two hours later according to the timestamp.

"Shit." Jax said. "Shit, shit, shit." He said standing up. "So what does this mean? She lying or she not remember getting attacked a second time?" he asked, but no one at the table had the answer. Opie was staring off into space, not sure how to process that. If he hadn't be out...

"Calm down. I don't know. We need to figure that out. Figure out who wants to rough her up." Clay said to his stepson. "Ope can you think you can get through to her and find the truth?" Opie shrugged.

"She's not a fan of mine right now." he admitted.

"That got something to do with you being out last night?" Tig asked, not that it was any of his business. Opie shrugged again, leaving it at that. "You know what gets me? Why is she so damn calm?"

"You call that flip out this morning Calm?" Juice asked in disbelief.

"Well I mean, when was the last time a chick got roughed up and instead of reacting just tried to play it off like nothing even happened? Most broads would eat up all of the attention especially if it was as minor as doll face claims." the bikers glanced around the table at each other.

"The only people who don't react to violence are the people who live with it." Piney finally spoke up. There was another heavy silence in the chapel.

"We still don't know what brought her running back to Charming after five years of no communication." Bobby reasoned. "It would make sense."

"Okay, but what do we do with this information?" Clay asked, frustrated.

Once the meeting had dispersed, the clubhouse seemed to empty. Tig, Clay and Chibs were going on a protection run for Uncer, Bobby had taken Juice to check out the town to try and locate Arika's assailants if they were still around, and Opie just seemed to vanish. Jax found himself alone in a matter of minutes. The only person he could count on still being here was Arika. Becoming bored with the lack of decent programming on television, he made his way down the hall, running his hand along his fathers bike as he rounded the corner, pausing as the sound of singing accompanied by guitar met his ears.

"Say you have a little faith in me, just close your eyes and let me lead, follow me home." he leaned on the wall to listen "Need to have a little trust in me, just close your eyes and let me lead, follow me home..." the cords dropped and slowed "To where the the lonely ones roam." he thought she was done because she hadn't sung anymore for a few moments, but then he heard her soft voice again "Won't you come out, I've been waiting for you, holding my breath, till my body turned blue-" Before he realized it was coming, Jax sneezed. It was out a the blue and he stood in the hallway frozen as the music stopped and a drawer snapped shut inside the room. "Hello?" The blonde knew he was caught, so instead of trying to play it off, he pushed the door open. "Don't you have anything better to do then creep outside my bedroom?" she asked, frowning at him.

"This was my room first darlin." he joked, trying, and succeeding, in making her smile. "Mind if I come in?" she sighed.

"It was you're room first right? How can I refuse?" he walked through the doorway and flopped onto the foot of the bed, resting his head in his hand.

"You write that?" she nodded and set the guitar down. "I never knew you could play guitar."

"There's a lot of shit you don't know Teller." she said matter of factly.

"Like what?" she bit her lip.

"Like the fact that I play guitar?" he snorted.

"That's been established." She tapped her lips thoughtfully.

"How about the fact that..." she tried to think, but nothing was coming to the surface that she was willing to share. There was plenty she could say to still shock the man, but nothing G rated enough that he wouldn't so beserk. "I hate the color pink." He yawned dramatically.

"I was was thinking there was some sort of shocking secret that you were keeping locked away... Like a sixth toe or something." he teased grabbing her feet and tickling them under the guise of counting her toes.

"Cut that out!" she snapped, kicking at him and pulling her feet underneath her for protection. "Fine... Well..." a million things flashed through her mind, things she was dying to say, but seemed to choke on when she tried to speak them. "Well maybe you should shock me Mr. Badass Biker! You learned something new about me."

"Alright. I'll tell you a little factoid... But then I get to ask a question, and get an answer." she raised her eyebrow. This could turn ugly fast.

"No promises."

"When I was a kid, I used to be afraid of the power going out in thunder storm, like piss my pants scared." Arika looked like she didn't believe him. "I used to light a million candles and horde flashlights in more room because I was afraid the power would go out."

"You were afraid of the dark? Really?" _Bullshit._ She added silently.

"No, not the dark... Not exactly. I was afraid of the lights going out and not being able to turn them back on." he explained. "I was afraid of being stuck in the dark, but not of the dark itself." the look on his face made her question her doubt and believe him, but the moment of vulnerability didn't last for very long. "No I get to ask- Where'd you learn to walk in heels like that?" she looked dumbfounded.

"Where did that come from?" she asked with a giggle.

"I've seen you in heels a few times now since you've been back... It kinda blows my mind. You were the kid who'd wear flip-flops in the snow, and that was only if Gemma nagged you. LuAnn's porn stars can't walk like you do in heels." she was blushing and she covered her face with her hands.

"I don't know Jax... I guess I just got used to wearing them for work." she offered, her cheeks still on fire.

"What kind of work do you do?"

"Ah-ah! My turn." she said, shifting and giving him a devilish look. "Craziest sex stunt?" he burst into hysterical laughter at how casually she'd asked such a strange, and inappropriate question.

"Fuck, I don't know..." he though about it for a moment. "Ma had me and the guys doing some work at the house... A few of the girls dropped by, just a bunch of sweet butts and crow eaters... Well the one bitch, she was a piece of work, leads me into Gemma's bathroom and... Well the door wasn't even closed and I just fucked her."

"You're lucky Gemma didn't catch you. She'd have made you scrub that counter till your hands bled. That's pretty fucking brave." she commended. It was almost as if speaking her name activated some kind of curse, because they heard the clicking of high heels and a moment later, Gemma appeared in the doorway.

"You two seen Bobby?" the older woman asked. "What's with the guilty looks?" she asked, pushing her bangs from her face. They both shrugged and tried to look casual. "Yeah, whatever." she didn't believe the act for a second. "Listen, if you see Bobby tell him I need him to track down one of his buddies. I need another act for the stage at the fundraiser."

"Fundraiser?" Arika asked, looking from Jax to Gemma.

"Yeah, ma does it every year. It's like a little carnival for the school." Jax explained. "Maybe you could be her second act?" Arika looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Are you out of your god damn mind?" she asked. "No way am I getting up in front of a bunch of people."

"She any good baby?" Gemma pretended like she wasn't hearing the protests.

"Amazing." her son replied.

"It's settled then." the matron said clapping her hands together. "You can go on just before Fat Elvis."

"Gemma, I do not sing in front of people." Arika stated firmly.

"You'll do fine baby girl. Just picture them all naked." Arika gagged dramatically "What's the matter.

"Tig naked..." Jax howled with laughter until Arika slapped him with a pillow.

"Now that's an image no one needs in their head." he agreed, snatching the pillow from her as she aimed another blow at him.

"When is this fundraiser thing? I need to know when to skip town." Arika joked, trying to pull the pillow back from Jax.

"Tuesday." She looked up at Gemma, her hands releasing the pillow. "Something wrong with that?"

"Well... My boss really wants me back on Monday."

"Fuck your boss. I have half a mind to take a ride up there and shove my boot up his ass. Treating my girl like he owns her." Gemma huffed, she looked like she was about to continue on, but there was a shrill chirping that interrupted her. Jax pulled his phone from his pocket and the smile on his face faded quickly.

"You two gonna be alright alone?" he asked rolling from the bed. Gemma nodded a bit.

"Sure, what's the matter?"

"Club shit. Take her back to the house and lock up." the blonde directed firmly. There weren't many occasions that Gemma Teller just followed directions, but when 'club shit' came up, she played nice and followed orders. Jax kissed his mothers cheek then nodded goodbye to Arika who was giving him a hard look like she was trying to read his mind. "Behave... Both of you."

It took them all of five minutes to be out the door once Jax had left. Gemma took time to make sure the clubhouse and garage were secured before she made her way to the beamer. Arika didn't argue, but followed behind Gem, sliding into the passenger side as the fancy car roared to life.

"You gonna tell me about the face?" Arika was surprised that Gemma even had to ask.

"Clay didn't tell you?"

"Clay doesn't tell me too much sweetheart. I'm sure he thought I'd fly off the handle... But I think you're tough enough to handle your shit. If not, you're gonna have to get there if you are gonna stick around." Gemma replied cooly as she turned out of the complex, and putting the car in park. "Just a sec." she got out of the car, closed the gate, and locked it with a heavy duty chain before getting bak in. "Where was I?"

"Being tough to stick around."

"Oh right. Well it's just a fact, this life chew up and spits out the soft ones."

"What if I don't want this life?" Arika asked, halfheartedly. "What if I just wanna run. Run and run until I find a place where no one knows the Sons and no one knows my name."

"I don't think that's really an option baby girl. SAMCRO is in your blood. And see the way you look at him." The younger girl looked at the matron, startled.

"W-What? Who are you talking about?"

"I don't know, whoever just popped into your head just now." Arika's shock turned into a glare. "But I am willing to bet that whoever it was had a cut and a patch."

"You're a wicked bitch." Arika grumbled, crossing her arms with a huff and looking out the window, unwilling to admit that she'd seen anyones face. She should had known that Gemma was just trying to bait her, she was slightly ashamed that she fell for it.

"So you gonna spill the beans about the black eye or what?"

"Nothing to spill. Fucker got one good shot in before I whooped his ass."

"That's my girl." Gemma said, motherly pride shining on her face.

"If I was your girl, he wouldn't have walked away in one piece. I'd have his dick in a box under my bed." the younger woman joked. Gemma laughed and shrugged.

"You'll get there with time baby."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ahhh! I've been working hard on getting through my writers block. The truth is I am actually writing ahead, I am working on a few chapters after this one, but waited until I was sure this was the right path before I made this final by posting! **

**Thanks for the encouragement Missy! Glad to have you on board! That goes for all my recent +alerts and +favorites! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Sons of Anarchy! **

It was nearly two when there was a roar of bikes outside, and Arika got to her feet to look out the window, glad that they were back. Gemma had fallen asleep in Clay's recliner over an hour ago while they watched The Notebook and the twenty year old was bored out of her mind, and hoping that Jax would take her back to the clubhouse. As she peered through the window she realized something was very wrong. Three bikes had pulled into the driveway, and two of the drivers had rushed to the third bike to pull someone off of the back of it. The figure stood on his feet for only about thirty seconds before he began to collapse and the other two caught him.

"Gemma, something is wrong." the brunette said, leaving the window and throwing open the front door, flicking on the front porch light. The older woman jerked awake, disoriented. "Jax..." She looked to the doorway that was now empty as Arika ran out to meet them. Gemma got to her feet, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she stumbled over her own feet. Before she reached the door herself, Chibs and Bobby were carrying Jax into the living room.

"Jesus, what happened?" The blondes mother asked, watching her son struggle to get his footing, disoriented, from what Gemma guess was a blow to the head. Blood was dripping from the side of his face, and blossoming on his right shoulder through his shirt. The other two men didn't answer, they were pulling Jax toward the spare bedroom.

"Gem, get a bowl of hot water, some rags, a first aid kit if you've got it and start some coffee." Arika said over her shoulder as she burst back through the door and trotted up the hallway after to bikers, eager to be of assistance to the men. Gemma didn't hesitate, she went for the kitchen, pulling out a large punch bowl and filling it with hot tap water while she pulled out all of the clean dish rags in the drawer.

"Gemma?" Clay called as he walked into the house a few paces behind Arika. Gemma reappeared in the kitchen doorway, the rags hanging over her arm, the heavy punch bowl in her hands.

"What the fuck happened?" she asked, walking a little slower then usual as she crossed the room so as not to spill the water in the bowl.

"It was a god damn ambush." the man said, rubbing his face. "Jax got cornered alone, got a little banged up."

"A little banged up? He's bleeding out on my god damn duvet! Why isn't he in a hospital?"

"Because the hospital's ask questions. This isn't beyond Chibs." Clay said firmly. "Last thing anyone needs is you going bat-shit." Gemma pursed her lips, but didn't argue. It was club shit and she knew better then to stick her nose into it.

She met Bobby in the hallway and he took the bowl from her hands, backtracking back into the spare bedroom. Arika was sitting on the bed, holding Jax's head in her lap, brushing his blonde hair back from the cut on the side of his face to protect it from blood. His shirt had been cut open so that the slice on his shoulder was visible. Gemma grimace at the sight of it, long and deep enough that she was surprised that Chibs didn't think that he needed stitches. She handed a rag to Chibs who dunked it in the hot water, ringed it out and passed it to Arika to press delicately to Jax's head wound. He hissed, and she smoothed his hair back.

"Got any booze Gem?" the irishman asked, examining the

"Yeah, I've got some tequilla, whiskey, a little vodka..."

"Good. Bring all of it, ask Clay for his zippo" Gemma had started for the door and backtracked.

"What are you-" it donned on her what they planned to do. "No" the mother said firmly. "Take him to the hospital."

"Gem, listen, cops are all over the hijacking, if Jax shows up in the ER with these wounds the cops are gonna suspect him." Bobby said, ushering Gemma out of the room. "Let Chibs work."

"But-"

"It's needle and thread or it's fire." Chibs said, puffing up. Gemma was the presidents wife, but when it came to battle field medicine, he knew what he was talking about.

"Get him the zippo ma. I'm not letting this crazy fuck stitch me up." Jx spoke finally, feeling a little batter now that he was laying down. She nodded at her son, letting Bobby guide her out of the room. "You alright back there darlin?" he said, reaching backward and touching her shoulder, rolling his eyes upward. She smiled down on him.

"I'm fine." she said warmly, handing the bloody rag to Chibs. "What the hell did you do to yourself?" she teased. He raised a hand to her cheek.

"You should see the other guy. I gave him his." she tossed her head back and laughed as he repeated her words back at her. Bobby cam back with the booze under his arm and two Zippos in hand.

"Would this be easier with a knife?" the fatter man asked, not sure Jax would be able to stand a slow burn. Arika pulled the one from her hip and handed the blade over to the medic.

"This work?" Chibs took the ka-bar and nodded. "You're gonna heat it up and press it on the cut?" he nodded again and Jax swore.

"Hand me the tequila, will ya." she didn't hesitate and picked up the liquor off of the nightstand and opened it, putting it to his lips, supporting his head as he drank. He grimace and made a face, but took another long gulp.

"Maybe you should wait outside." Bobby suggested as Chibs turned away to start heating the blade, standing over Jax with the bottle of vodka.

"No, I am staying right here." Bobby tilted the bottle over Jax's wound, and the younger biker hissed with pain as it stung him, chokeing a little on the tequilla he'd been gulping down.

"He's right sweetheart, you don't need to see me like this." Jax said, coughing painfully as her pushed the tequila bottle away from his lips.

"Fuck you Teller. You're manly pride could take a hit or two. I am staying." she snapped, but her face was etched with concern.

"Bobby, hold his legs." Arika looked up at Chibs who had turned around, still running a lighter up and down the knife. "I need you to try to keep him as still at possible." She set aside the bottle and Jax close his eyes tightly. She kept stroking his hair and tried to take his hand up he batted her away.

"I'll break it." he warned when she tried again.

"I don't care. Hold my wrist then, can't break that." she snapped, taking his hand. She looked up at Chibs as he held a hand over the blade to test it's heat.

"Ya ready Jackie boy?" Jax nodded ever so slightly, still holding his eyes closed, knowing that if he'd saw it coming it would be a million times worse. Arika looked down at his face, leaning down kissing him on the forehead, not taking her eyes away from his face as she pulled away. She didn't want to see Chibs coming closer to him with the hot metal, but in the corner of her eye she could see him leaning over the man. He was positioned in a specific way so that when he pressed the metal to the tanned flesh of his VP he could drop his weight to hold him still. It was a method he'd learned in the IRA.

Arika stared harder at Jax, and a split second later, he was screaming, his body had turned into stone as he tensed with the agony of the knife searing his wound closed. She held tightly to his upper body, helping Chibs keep hims still the best she could, trying not to cry out as his hand jerked and twisted her wrist painfully, and pretend that the smell of burning flesh wasn't making her sick.

He screamed louder and louder as the scotsman pressed harder, at first he begged for it to end, but then he lost the ability to formulate words, and just screamed wordlessly. It felt like eternity that Chibs held the man down, but it had only been a minute before he stood back. She felt him shaking and leaned down kissing his forehead again.

"It's done." she whispered softly, stroking his hair, ignoring the tears that dripped down his cheeks. In a moment like this, you looked past a brothers tears, they couldn't be helped and bringing attention to them was an insult. She had to remind herself of that because she wanted to wipe them away like he had done for her. He slowly blinked his eyes open to look up at her. She looked into his eyes for a long moment, pouring her care for him into the look.

"Come on princess." She looked up at Chibs who was tugging on her arm, trying to get her to slid out from under Jax.

"I don't want to leave him. I'm fine where I am."

"I need some ice water to put on that burn, and get some bandages. Come and help me." he said, still trying to pull her away. She sighed and oh so carefully slid out from under Jax, who grunted as he was shifted. She'd barely touched the ground and stood when she fell against Chibs, her foot asleep and numb from holding Jax's weight.

"Fuck." she cursed, hated the feel of pins and needles that was starting to roll through her leg.

"You okay?" Jax tried to push himself up but he hurt to much and she put a hand on his stomach to stop him.

"Fine! I'm fine, leg just went numb from holding your fat ass." she teased. He smiled weakly and her heart melted. She felt badly or him, and would have stayed by his side until he gave her a real smile but Chibs was pulling her away. She chanced a glance at Bobby but the man was busy using one of the rags to clean the burnt flesh off of her knife.

As soon as they were out in the hallway, and the door closed, Chibs too her hand and lifted her arm into the light.

"What's the matter?" she asked, looking down at her throbbing wrist. She froze as she realized that fresh blood was dripping pooling on the surface of her skin in the shape of fat little half moons.

"He got'cha pretty good. You didn't even notice?" she shook her head as he dragged her through the house to the kitchen. Gemma and Clay were sitting at the table in silence.

"Everything okay?" the matron asked jumping to her feet at the sight of them.

"He's fine. We need some ice water though. If you wanted to take that to Bobby-" Chibs stopped talking when Gemma set about filling the order and stopped listening.

"What happened to you kid?" Clay asked standing over her, eyeing her bloodied wrist.

"Your son must have missed his weekly manicure." she said trying to make light of the situation, but the president looked confused. "Dug his nails in and broke the skin." Clay snorted and clapped her on the shoulder.

"You gonna live?" she nodded. "I'm gonna go check on the patient, and keep Gemma from crawling up his ass." Gemma had just darted from the room, and Clay didn't want to give her must of a head start. Chibs had taken some paper towel from beside the sink, wet them, and was wiping away the blood on her wrist.

"I got this Chibs, you can go back to Jax, he needs you a hell of a lot more."

"He's in capable hands love. I wanna give him a little time to breath before I start poking and prodding him again."

"He's not gonna get much air with Gemma in there." she joked, she looked up at Chibs and frowned at the confusion on his face. He pulled her arm closer to him, running a hand down the underside, tracing the littering of scars. She tried to jerk her arm away but he was stronger.

"Something I need to know?" he asked looking up at her. She shook her head furiously.

"They are old. Ancient even." she explained, her voice shaking slightly as her heart began to pound in her throat.

"Good." she blinked at him, surprised that he was going to just leave it at that. "Looks like you're gonna need to wrap this." he said, wiping away more blood, she looked back down and saw that Jax's nail prints were larger then usual. "Must had really dug in, how did you not feel this?" he asked leading her to the table and sitting her down to pull out some bandages from the first aid kit on the table that Gemma had forgotten to bring to them in the bedroom.

"Pain doesn't phase me often." she offered. "He twisted it pretty hard, I thought maybe it was sprained."

"That's probably why the cuts are so deep." Chibs agreed sitting beside her and putting her arm in his lap. He laid gauss over the cuts and began to rip bits of tape to fasten the bandage into place.

"Why aren't you going to rat me out?" she blurted after a few minutes. He raised an eyebrow and looked sideways at her.

"You want me to rat?"

"No, but I just don't understand why you just pretended that it doesn't matter... Most people make a big deal out of it."

"I guess I get it. Men just do it differently. We fight and get all of our shit out... We get hit and we feel the hurt." he placed the last piece of tape. "Girls don't have that luxury."

"You sound like you know first hand..."

"I've met a few fucked up women in my time."

"My name on that list." he shook his head.

"No princess, you're on the fucked up family list." she laughed. "You're good to go." he said putting her hand back in her own lap. "I had better go check on the patient now."

"You might need a crowbar to peel Gemma away." the brunette tease, getting up to follow him.

"It'd be a waste of breath to tell you to stay put wouldn't it?"

"You bet." she chirped as they spilled through the door. Jax was sitting up against the headboard now, holding a cold rag to his shoulder. "How you feeling?"

"Like some crazy fucker just burnt the shit out of me." he peeked under the rag he was holding to his shoulder. "Guess it wasn't just a bad dream." she laughed and put a hand on his leg, just trying to be reassuring... But she wasn't sure who she was trying to reassure. "Thanks for looking out for me darlin." his brilliant blue eyes had turned serious, and there was something in them that she couldn't read, but it made her breathless all the same.

"Clay, will you please get your old lady under control." Bobby whined as Gemma tripped him and Chibs up while they got everything ready to bandage up Jax.

"Gemma! Come on, lets go to bed." Clay said catching his woman around the waist and dragging her from the room with a good deal of difficulty. "Night son. Arika can I talk to you?" Arika who had moved closer to Jax's side once Gemma and Clay had vacated the spot looked over her shoulder. "It'll just take a moment while they work." she squeezed Jax's leg and walked back out of the room. Gemma was stomping off down the hallway, pissed that the men were keeping her from her baby. "Where's Opie?" Clay asked once they were a few steps away from the door.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he didn't show up when I called. I must have called a dozen times looking for back-up and he didn't answer. Thought maybe you had a clue?" she shook her head.

"Sorry Clay. I don't know. I haven't seen him since before you guys had church yesterday." the old man sighed and rubbed his face.

"Alright honey. Go on." he said waving a hand as she edged back toward the guest room, eager to get back to Jax. Worried for her friend. "I'll have Gemma make up the couch before we turn in." he called as she ducked into the room, she muttered her thanks and was relieved to see that Bobby and Chibs had worked quickly to patch up the blonde, and he was laying down, apparently asleep.

"That was fast." Chibs smiled and nodded.

"He's had a rough night princess." he said handing her the knife back. She wasn't sure how she felt about the knife that had just burn the shit out of Jax, but she pushed it back into it's sheath at her hip.

"I know..."

"He'll be fine. Get some rest yourself. We'll be back in the morning to make sure he's still in one piece." The Bobby said, ushering her out of the room. "He's gonna need someone to keep him company while he's on bed rest. So you better have some energy." she nodded, glancing back at him one last time before Chibs flicked out the light and pulled the door so that it was cracked.

"If there are any problem's call me. You've got the number?"

"It's in the pre-pay Tig gave me."

"Good." Chibs hugged her tightly, then Bobby hugged her as well.

"You did great tonight kid. We're lucky to have someone who knows how to hold their shit together." she tried not to laugh at that. She didn't know how to hold her shit together without some sort of self-destruction being involved. As she bid the older bikers farewell and wondered back up the hallway to double check that Jax was okay she realized that, that wasn't entirely true. When it came down to it, she'd held her shit together just fine to be there for Jax, her shit took a backseat to make sure he was okay.

_I'd do that for any of the Sons._ She told herself firmly, leaving no space for argument.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: YAY! Chapter 12! Whew! Most of my projects would have fizzled by now... It's come close a couple of times, but all of the +'s and the reviews have kept me going strong! **

**I would like to say that I apologize for any grammatical errors in my work, I usually am writing late at night and in my tired haze, I miss stuff! The path to my ending is becoming a little more clear as I work. I always knew what the ending was, just not the how... But the how is ever so slowing showing itself to me! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own a single thing = **

It felt like she'd only just laid her head down on the soft pillow that Gemma had provided her when a heavy weight dropped onto the couch beside her. She opened her eyes as a hand rubbed her arm slowly.

"Opie?" she mumbled, rubbing her lost sleep from her eyes.

"Hey honey." he said softly. "What happened to you last night?" she said, his hands rubbing down her thighs, which were spattered with Jax's blood. "Clubhouse is a ghost town, you're covered in blood..." she pushed her hair back from her face and blinked a little. "What's this?" he caught her bandaged wrist. "What did you do?" His eyes were accusing.

"It was-"

"Well look who decided to show up." the pair on the couch looked up as Clay walked into the room in his robe. "Where the fuck were you last night."

"I was out."

"Obviously. What ever happened to answering the god damn phone."

"I left if at the clubhouse." Gemma appeared in the room as well, and she gave Opie a dirty look. "What's going on? Why is everyone so pissed off?"

"Why? I'll tell you why." Gemma started, rounding on Opie. "While you were off getting your dick sucked, the club got into a jam, Jax got all torn up because you weren't there to cover his ass." she said jabbing a finger into his chest. "You know what it's like or a mother to listen to her baby being burned? Do you?"

"Ma!" Everyone looked up to the hallway where Jax was leaning against the wall. "I know everyone is pissed off, but I really don't wanna hear the shit right now." Arika slipped out from behind Opie.

"You need to lay down." she said, putting her hands on his good shoulder, turning him around. "Shit. You've bled through this." she said, touching the dark red patch of the bandage, blood coming off on her finger. "Come on, lay down and I'll call Chibs." she pushed against him until he was stepping back down the hall.

"What's all the screaming about?" he asked as she pushed him down onto the bed.

"No fucking clue. Opie just being an idiot?" She said reaching in her pocket for the prepaid, closing the door to block out the ass chewing that they could hear from the living room.

"You pissed?" he asked laying back, wincing as he did so.

"A bit." she responded, distracted as she pulled up the phone number for Chibs and pressing send.

"The least he could do is cover up the fucking hickeys." he muttered, poking at the soaked bandage on his shoulder.

"The what?" she said looking up. "Chibs? Arika..." she turned away from him for a moment. "Ah... Yeah, well it looks like it bled through... What? Oh I don't know... Fine... Fine. Okay. See you then." she turned back as she snapped the phone shut.

"What'd the doc say?" he asked, hoping to direct her attention away from what he'd said before she'd made the call.

"He wants me to change the bandage. He's looking for the key to his bike." she said, sitting on the bed beside him. "Now what did you say about hickeys?" she asked, delicately peeling at the taped edged of the bandages.

"No. I am not getting in the middle of this." She tugged sharply on a piece of tape, he winced. "Shit. Would you try not to rip what little but of unharmed skin I have left, off?"

"Sorry, I was trying to picture Opie and his hickeys... I though Gemma was guessing when she said he was getting his dick sucked..." she was more careful as he pealed way the rest of the bandage and tape. He shifted uncomfortably at the feel of it.

"I'm sorry." he said gently.

"For what? He's the one who should be sorry. He should have been there for you." she said folding the bandage in half and setting it aside. "This doesn't look to bad." he glanced down at his shoulder wished he hadn't. The blistered skin was sickening. Looking at it seemed to make him feel it more strongly then he had before.

"I need fresh bandages." Arika said, getting up. "You need anything while I am up?"

"Water?" she nodded and walked out of the bedroom. Opie had been laying in wait for her to reappear. She didn't even had time to pull the door closed behind her before he'd started in on her.

"What did you do? You promised." she tried to shove past him, but he pushed her back.

"Don't fucking start Opie." she hissed.

"Why not? You weren't supposed to start this shit again." he said holding up her bandaged wrist.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." she ripped the bandage off of her wrist to expose the four half moons cuts and the large hand shaped bruise on her arm. "You see what this is? These are the marks your best friend left on me while I held him down so Chibs could sear his skin closed." she stepped close to him, looking up, doing her best to look intimidating, but it was always hard when you were looking up at the person you were trying to intimidate. "Was the crow eating whore worth it?" she asked, looking at his neck where she could now clearly see the hickeys that Jax had mentioned. "Getting your dick wet worth it? You're a real piece of work Ope."

"Arika I-" he reached out, this time trying to comfort her as her eyes welled with tears.

"No, don't you fucking touch me." he reached for her again and she slapped him hard across the face. "I said don't touch me." she shoved past him again while he was left to hold his cheek.

"You fucked up bro." Opie looked up, and though the gap in the still open door he could see Jax smoking a cigarette. The brunette biker stepped into the room.

"She's got an arm on her." he stood over his friend bed and sighed. "We okay? I had no idea. They do those runs twice a week, when was the last time they hit a snag?"

"We're good man about the run man. My shit will heal... What you did to her, that's where my beef is." the blond said nodding toward the door. "You come in here, accusing her of something while you're wearing the evidence that you were out fucking around right there in plain sight. That's fucked." Arika stomped back into the room before Opie could say anything else, and when she saw him in the bedroom, she stopped at the door.

"I need to replace the bandage. Please leave." he opened his mouth to say something. "Please. Leave." she repeated before he could make a sound. He glanced at his brother who had no sympathy for him what-so-ever, and he trudged out of the bedroom, giving a wounded look to Arika. She didn't hesitate to slam the door behind him. "He's got some nerve." She grumbled as she laid out what she was going to need to clean and treat his wound, as well as the glass of water he'd asked for. She sat beside him on the bed and reached across him, a rag in her hand, dabbing tenderly at the burn.

"Shit." he put his cigarette in his mouth and grabbed her wrist, seeing what was hidden under her own bandage. "Did I do this?" she pulled away before he looked too closely.

"You've got claws like a god damn cat." she joked, plucking the cigarette from his lips and taking a drag as she continued to clean the wound with the other hand. "Maybe I was right when I called you a pussy." he laughed, shaking his head.

"You've been spending too much time with Gemma. You're a bitch." she snubbed the cigarette out and picked up the gauss and tape.

"It's less of a side effect of Gemma, more of a side effect of life." she said casually. "Reality likes to fuck you over, then kick you while your down... And just as you get to your knees and almost get back up, it shits all over you again." she pressed the bandage down over the wound and began to tape the edges.

"You're not bitter at all are you darlin?" he asked, giving her a strange look. She was twenty, ten years his junior, and yet the words coming out his mouth were far more jaded then even he would speak.

"Not bitter. Just real." she tore the last piece of tape and pressed it down on his chest.

"Shit with you and Opie will get better." she shook her head.

"The shit I've got with Opie isn't ever gonna change. It is what it is... You're good to go. Rest a little bit longer, I'll let you know when Gemma makes breakfast." she got up to leave but he caught her wrist.

"He cares about you darlin. He's got a fucked up way of showing it, but he does care."

"I know he cares, but that doesn't mean I don't get to be pissed" she said shaking her head "Today just goes to show how much shit between me and Opie will never change." she pulled her arm from his grasp. "His best friend got hurt and he was up my ass about bullshit. His caring is gonna suffocate me." she turned to walk out the door, pausing to gather up the bloody clothing from the floor. "If you need anything, just call."

_Does an explanation count?_ He thought, utterly confused as he lit a cigarette and stared off into space trying to make sense of her and Opie's fucked up dynamic.

The rest of the morning had been tense. The club had gathered for breakfast at the Teller-Morrow homestead, and the majority of those present were a little pissed as Opie for not being there to have their back the night before, and a little more pissed because it had been pussy that kept him away. Arika wasn't in the mood for people, and she sat at the far end of the table, stabbing her scrambled eggs aggressively. On top of last nights trauma , it was Monday morning. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, but her time was most certainly up. There wasn't going to be a second chance. There wasn't going to be another warning. Scott was going to come, and he'd be looking for blood.

"You can take the Lexus." Gemma put a hand on her arm and she jumped out of her skin, sending egg scattering over the table. Everyone was looking at her now, and her cheeks began to burn.

"Do what now?"

"Take Jax home. You said earlier that you'd stay with him." Arika nodded slowly. "Take the Lexus, and Bobby will take his bike and bring the car back here."

"That sounds great." she stood from the table, taking her plate, and headed for the kitchen to escape the prying eyes. She scrapped away the egg into the trashcan before turning on the faucet, letting the water get nice and hot as she held the plate underneath. Her hands shook under the heat, her skin turning to the familiar lobster red shade.

"You alright baby?" she jumped again and almost dropped the plate. Gemma leaned on the counter beside her as she shut of the water and reached for a hand towel. "You're jumpy as hell today."

"It was a long weekend Gem. Nerves are just worn a little thin." she said casually. Gemma wasn't buying her bullshit.

"Uh-huh, and the real reason...?" Arika rolled her eyes and Gemma pushed off the counter, standing close, they were the same height when Gemma wasn't in heels. "Look, I don't know what's going on in the pretty little head of ours, but checking out and ignoring the real world isn't gonna fix it. You've been lost in your god damn head all morning, and nothing good is gonna come from it. Nothing up there is gonna fix what's going on out here." Arika took a deep breath.

"Not much I can do to fix the real world." she said in a defeated tone. Gemma grabbed her arms and shook her.

"There is so much you can do! You've got SAMCRO at your back, nothing can touch you baby girl. Grow some balls and handle your shit." Arika held her breath, her mind racing to think of ay slip ups that she'd made, had she told Gemma something last night when she was half asleep? "These crow eating whores aren't gonna back off unless you show them who is boss. Opie is a man, he's got no self-control when it comes to getting his rocks off-" Arika sighed with relief, she was talking about Ope. "-you have to cut off the source. If he's in Charming, he's yours baby. Make sure these whores know it." If there hadn't been a knock on the door, Gemma probably would have gone on, but the two women looked up at Bobby who was standing the doorway.

"We're ready when you are Arika." She smiled, and started toward the door, thankful to be away from the conversation but Gemma pulled her back.

"She'll be right there." Bobby smirked at the pained look on Arika's face as she was stopped as he be backed out of the kitchen, she opened her mouth to speak but Arika held up a hand.

"I appreciate the advice Gemma. I do, but you don't have to worry, I am working my shit out. Opie is SO not the issue." The look on Gemma's face confirmed that the matron was clueless as she smiled and hugged the younger girl.

"Give'em hell baby girl." she said in her ear before pulling away. "I'll be by later to check on Jax. If he needs anything, just call. I can send some hang arounds to come over and give you a hand."

"I think I've got it, but if we need something, you will be the first to know mama bear." Arika said, backing up as soon as she was free from Gemma's grip, eager to be out of the room and away from the sticky conversation. She walked through the dining area and said her goodbyes before she went for the door. She'd just stepped onto the porch when Opie stopped her.

"I owe you an apology." he said in a soft voice, trying to look pitiful to earn her forgiveness, he reached out for her but she turned her back on him and continued down the steps to the Lexus.

"You're not sorry Ope. Not even a little. If you were, you'd stop doing it." she said coldly as she opened the car door and slipped behind the steering wheel. Jax was already in the passenger seat, listening to the radio when she climbed in and he put a comforting hand on her thigh. She didn't say anything, but put the car into drive, and backed out of the driveway, carefully avoiding all of the bikes parked haphazardly around the sides.

The short car ride had been silent, Jax just leaning back in the passenger seat, his hand still on her leg, trying to offer some kind of comfort for her broken heart. They were pulling onto his street when she put a hand on his and squeezed.

"You don't have to stay." he said as they climbed out of the car, once it was in park.

"I want to. What else am I gonna do?"

"I dunno, go back to the clubhouse and talk-"

"If you wanna keep breathing you won't finish that sentence Teller." she warned. "Stay out of it if you know what's good for you." he chuckled a little as she cracked a smile finally for the first time that morning. "I'll wait for Bobby, why don't you go on in." she said leaning against the car.

As he reached the door and pulled out his key he noticed a package and an envelope resting against the door. The envelope Arika's name on it and the package had SAMCRO written in large black letters. He glance over his shoulder to Arika who had her back to him as she leaned against the car, still waiting for Bobby, and picked up both items as he walked into the house. He'd hardly waited until he reached the kitchen before he was tearing open the letter to Arika. It was federal law to open another persons mail, but if it wasn't in the mailbox doesn't that make it just a letter? There wasn't a stamp, so whoever left it delivered it by hand.

_I've given you plenty of warning, plenty of chances, and plenty of time. I've made arrangements for you to come home. They'll bring you back kicking and screaming if they have to, but I think you'll be dying to crawl back once the cat is out of the bag._

_I am done playing Mr. Nice Guy. _

Jax tossed the letter on the table and picked up the package and turned it over to open the seal. He paused only to read the words on the back:

_You should know the whore your harboring._

He furrowed his brown and ripped open the package and a stack of pictures and a dvd spilled onto the table. He picked up the first picture and his heart stopped. He looked at the others and felt a wave of shock washing over him. These pictures showed Arika in various sexual acts with other women. Some of them were tame, but others... Jax winced at one of the pictures that showed Arika, blindfolded and gaged, standing in front of another woman, clothes pins on strings attached to her pale skin, the other end attached the the second woman. There were more then he wanted to count that showed her covered in bruises or with bright red lashes littering her normally flawless skin. There were many men in the pictures, but none of them seemed to be touching Arika directly, they stood around her, or over her, some sort of torture implement in their hands, but there never seemed to be direct contact. He was still trying to decide how he felt about the pictures when the front door opened and slammed closed. He swallowed hard, and before Arika could make it to the kitchen, he stuffed the pictures into the waistband of his pants.

"What are you doing?" he looked over his shoulder, trying to play innocent.

"Nothing."

"Go do nothing on the couch then you dork! Chibs was very explicit about resting!" He couldn't help but see her a little differently as she took his hand and led him out of the kitchen and to the living room. "What?" she asked, glancing sideways and catching him staring.

"Nothing darlin." he repeated withdrawing his hand from hers. "I'll be right back, I wanna change."

"Hurry or I am picking the movie, and it WILL be a chick flick." she warned playfully. The blonde biker turned and started up the hallway and Arika let out a heavy sigh dropping onto the couch. She was tired, frustrated and stressed about what to do about her current situation. She didn't want Jax to be clued in on her difficult situation while he was recovering. There was enough on his plate. Jax reappeared in sweatpants and a black wife beater tank top, a fluffy pillow tucked under his arm.

"Scoot over sweetheart." he said dropping onto the couch beside her. "What are we gonna watch?" she shrugged, leaning over and picking up the remote for the television.

"Chick flick." she said with a half smile. He snatched the remote from her hand. "Hey!"

"Not the chick flick type."

"Really. Never would have guessed." she reached up and tugged his shoulder length hair. "I mean with all of the time you spend worrying about beauty." he slapped her hand away.

"You're a bitch." she didn't argue.

Without much argument, the pair agreed on a horror film, closing the curtains to make the daylight filled room darker. Haunting in Connecticut was one of the movies that went for the deeper mind fuck instead of cheap thrills, but it wasn't lacking in the latter completely. A few times, something had popped out on screen that made Arika squeak like a little mouse and press her face into Jax's good shoulder. The third time this happened, he put an arm around her and squeezed her against his side.

"I'll protect you darlin." he said warmly, thoughts of the pictures he'd stashed in his dresser put out of his mind by the amusement of watching her squirm at the movie. They had reached an intense scene was involved a seance when there was a loud knock on the door. Arika screamed with freight as Jax jumped out of skin, more thanks to her scream then the knock on the door. "Jesus kid, you're gonna give me a heart attack." he said, untangling herself from her, about to get to his feet when she jumped up from the couch to answer the door for him.

"Shut-up. Turn that shit off." she growled as she stepped down the short hall to door. She took the time to peer through the peep hole, feeling just a little on edge. She smiled and opened the door for Gemma who was standing on the porch, a solemn look on her face. "What's up Gem?" the younger woman asked as she threw the door open.

"Hey baby girl, where is Jax?" Gemma asked, walking past her like she didn't exist. Jax had gotten to his feet and was standing in the kitchen when Gemma found him.

"Ma?"

"Clay needs you at the clubhouse. Now." she said in a stiff voice.

"He's hurt he can't ride." Arika scoffed over Gemma's shoulder. The matron glanced at her then back at her son.

"I'm supposed to give you a ride."

"What is it?" he asked, looking concerned. Gemma only shook her head at him, and he knew that she wasn't going to be able to give him an answer. "Alright. Give a second. Arika-"

"She can't go." Gemma blurted. He paused mid step and the two others stared at Gemma with wide eyes. "Clay said she can't come to the clubhouse."

"What the fuck?" Arika felt highly offended. "Did I piss him off?"

"No baby, but this has something to do with the club, and he's being really edgy about it. I am supposed to drop Jax at the door, and I can't even go back in." there was something strange about how the woman wasn't looking Arika in the eye as she spoke.

"I'm not leaving her here alone." he said defiantly. "She comes, or I stay."

"If Clay wants you, you should go." Arika chimed in, not wanted to step on toes or cause a scene because she was butt-hurt about the lack of an invitation.

"No. It's not a discussion."

"She can ride along, but she has to stay in the car." his mother conceded, knowing that when her son set his mind to something, it was unlikely she was going to be able to change it.

"Let me go find my shoes."

"Can you find me a zip up?" Jax asked as the girl left the room, nodding that she would do what he asked. "What's going on?" he asked in a hushed tone when he was certain that she was out of earshot.

"Someone broke into the clubhouse-"

"Shit, something missing?" Arika reappeared with his hoodie, and sneakers on her feet, leaving Gemma to just shake her head.

Arika was never a good listener. When Gemma stopped the car to let Jax out, Arika jumped out of the vehicle as well. She tried to walk ahead of Jax but he caught her arm and pulled her back to the car.

"Where do you think you're going darlin?" he asked looking down at her.

"I figured since we were here I could get something to wear on stage tomorrow." she looked down at her clothes. "I can't wear the same blood stained thing for five days!"

"I'll bring you clothes when I come back to the house." he said opening the car door and pushing her down into the seat as Clay and Tig stepped out of the clubhouse.

"Like you're judgement can't be trusted." she said standing up again as the men approached. Jax sighed and pushed her back down.

"Problem?" Clay asked, leaning over the driver side of the car after giving Gemma a dirty look.

"I need clothes." Arika said, standing for a third time and turning toward Clay. "I would like to get of of these blood stained clothes." she patted Jax on the head. "I love him and all, but I don't want bits of him on me anymore!" Clay bit his cigar and reached in his pocket, pulling out a wad of cash and tossed it over to her.

"Buy new clothes. Problem solved. Let's go." She opened her mouth to argue but Jax put a hand on her head and pushed her back into the vehicle, using his foot to push her legs in, and closing the door before she could try to get out again. She looked up at him through the glass and glared. She didn't like being left out of the loop. As Gemma put the car and reverse and they left the parking lot, Arika caught a glimpse of Tig who had stood back, and she wondered what that look on his face meant as she shivered slightly.

"He should be at home, resting." Arika complained "This had better be good."

"Your concern is sweet, but Chibs is here, he'll be fine." Gemma replied, patting her leg. Arika still didn't like it, she felt like she was fifteen years old again.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/n: So the ball starts a rollin' in this chapter... The next few chapters will have a good bit of action going on I think! I can't really think of any more way to introduce this, so on with the show. **

**Thanks to all of the new +'s and those who reviewed. I hope you enjoy and continue to give me feedback so I know what you guys would like to see**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Sons of Anarchy in any way. **

Arika was still brooding when they arrived at the middle school bright and early the next day. She had spent all of the day before shopping with Gemma, who instead of letting her pick out clothes, treated her like her personal barbie doll again and shoved frilly girly things on her instead of the neutral items she would have chosen for herself. She'd managed to tuck a few items in the car without Gemma's notice, one of which was the simple black halter top and jean skirt that she was wearing now with her trusty black flip-flops.

"You're a girl! Can't you enjoy that and dress like one?" Gemma complained when she laid eye on the outfit.

"What, do you think I pulled this skirt out of Bobby's closet? I'm being a girl!" She shot back defensively. If it hadn't been for the glare on her face, Gemma would have continued to argue, but she knew the younger girl was in a foul mood because of yesterday's events, and she didn't want to make it worse before the Taste of Charming fundraiser.

When they arrived at the school, Arika had helped Gemma get settled in her booth, and then Arika managed to disappear as the crowd started to trickle in. She felt a bit self conscious as she roamed around. She'd spent thirty minutes on her make-up, caking on the foundation until her black eye was successfully hidden from the prying eyes of children. The last thing the club needed was a woman associated with them, showing up with a black eye. It sent the wrong message.

She'd found a few members of SAMCRO hanging around, performing whatever duties that Gemma had assigned. Juice and Chibs were working the dunking booth, much to Juices displeasure. He'd been forced into the tank because Chibs had seniority.

Bobby was sitting at another booth, taking pictures with kids, and helping them make their own sideburns out of pieces of felt. Tig was by the entrance, just standing there, looking imposing. Arika guessed he had been pinned with security duty.

As she greeted all of them, she casually tried to pump them for information. Every single one of them stone walled her with the same generic answer.

"Club business. There was a security issue in the clubhouse. We're taking care of it, but it was SoA only." Bobby had explained. It was too well planned, too staged, because every single one of them gave her a similar answer. She was certain that they were just regurgitating the line they'd been fed by Clay. She had admitted defeat and was sitting at a picnic table near the stage when Opie flopped down beside her.

"Hey kid." he said cheerfully. Arika smiled and nodded unenthusiastically.

"Ope."

"How's it going?" he asked, she gave him an annoyed look.

"I spent the day playing barbie with Gemma yesterday, and the club is stonewalling me. How do you think it's going?" she snapped.

"Is it really that-" she shot him a look and he stopped mid-sentence. "Never mind."

"Who's the chick?" she asked, knowing that if she asked what she wanted, he'd feed her the same line everyone else had. Opie had arrived at the festival was a small brunette woman tucked under his arm, and they'd been disgustingly cute with each other the entire time they'd been there.

"Ah, you saw that huh?" he was turning a little pink.

"All of Charming saw it Opie."

"Her name is Donna. We went to school together, well we dated actually..." he looked at her cautiously to gauge her reaction.

"Uh-huh..."

"She moved to Lodi for some family shit, but came back just recently. We reconnected and... Well..." Arika rolled her eyes.

"Gross." she said shaking her head. "You serious about her?"

"Serious as I know how to be." he glanced as her again as Donna had found them and dropped onto his lap, planting an adoring kiss on his cheek. Arika forced a smile. She was happy for Opie, but the sickening display of affection made her want to gag. "Donna, this is Arika. She's part of the family."

"Opie has told me so much about you." the brunette said taking Arika's hand and shaking it.

"Likewise." she lied. "I'm gonna go look for Jax. He's bringing Bobby's spare guitar from the clubhouse." she said, that being the only polite way she knew how to excuse herself. They didn't seem to notice as they had started an aggressive match of tonsil hockey right there. She slapped Opie on the back of the head. "Kids are around!" she reminded. Donna blushed and broke the kiss, jumping off his lap as Arika walked off into the crowd.

It was crowed, but it wasn't packed, there was plenty of room to walk around all of the people milling about. That's why when a blonde woman walked past her, shoving her shoulder against Arika's, the twenty year old turned.

"Watch it bimbo." she snapped. The blonde turned and Arika recognized her as the one from the party who so rudely stepped between her and Jax, her attire was completely inappropriate for a school based function as she still screamed the part of a porn star.

"Oops. Don't take it the wrong way, I don't wanna be your new mistress." Arika blinked, not sure what she was talking about, but she had an uneasy feeling.

"Whatever. Have you seen Jax?" The brunette responded, doing her best to ignore the implications. Ima stepped close to Arika, who drew herself up to her full height, but she was still just an inch sorter then the bitch in heels.

"He's here. We came over together." she put extra emphasis on the words together. "I'm sure he's just desperately avoiding you."

"Look Porno Barbie, maybe you need to take the dick out of your ass and stop being a bitch. I asked a question, don't have to be a cunt about it." Ima laughed.

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black."

"What are you talking about?" Arika asked, fighting the urge to throttle the porn star.

"Didn't the boys tell you. Someone broke into the clubhouse, posted your work all over the walls."

"My work?" Ima pulled out her phone and held it out to the brunette for her to look at. Arika thought she would faint as she saw a large image of her, bound and gagged, bruises and red welts all over her body. The blown up image seemed to be hanging over the bar.

"Your kinky lesbo pictures were everywhere. I did think you looked kinda like a dike, gue-" Arika punched her, square in the face, with all of her might. She knew deep down, that Ima had nothing to do with it, but she blamed the woman. When Ima fell, Arika went down with her, climbing on top of her and punched her again. She was about to land a third blow when someone put their arms around her and lifted her to her feet. Arika was still swinging at the blonde who had rolled to her knees, coughing blood. "You bitch!" she shouted as whoever had grabbed Arika dragged her away. Once the blonde was out of sight, she was put down, but not released.

"I'll fucking rip her throat out." she growled as she turned to look at Ima's savior. Tig was looking over his shoulder, making sure that someone was tending to crowd control and Ima's needs. Arika was trying to pry free from his grasp tough and he turned back to her. "The porn princess is safe. Let go." she hissed. Tig chuckled and instead of holding onto her arm, slid the hand around her shoulders.

"Let's take a walk kid." he said, guiding her between two booths so that they were away from the crowd. Arika's mind was racing. Her secret was out and she could only imagine what they'd seen.

_She had just started was a waitress in her mother's friend strip club as eighteen. She was desperate for work, trying to save up money to get out of her mother's hell hole house. Even with the good tips she got from the patrons of the cub, they saved the big bucks for the performers. She started off small, becoming a body shot girl, letting the men take their shows from between her tits as she gridded on their laps, but somehow that just barely made ends meet. Scott, her boss had been so great in the beginning, and so understanding of her need for money and even let her onto the stage a few nights a week, throwing a full lap dances her way. She was finally making a nice little nest egg for herself when she twisted her ankle and money went down the drain. _

_The night that Arika took her current position at the club, she'd had a fight with her mother over something stupid - the way she loaded the dishwasher- and it had spiraled into the worst kind of verbal assault that she'd endured yet. She was pissed and when Scott made her a very lucrative offer, she signed the contract that had been placed in front of her without hesitation. She'd become part of his girl on girl performance team. The deal raked in the cash and it let her hold onto the one thing that she prided herself on._

"You in there kid?" Tig asked tapping on her forehead. She'd been so lost in her head that she hadn't realized that she'd been led into the school. Gemma had secured a few classrooms as dressing rooms for the performers and the room Tig brought her to looked like it belong to a pack of second graders.

"Sorry. I was..." she shuddered and sank onto one of the short desks. "Fuck."

"You got hell of a right cross. I'm sure that bitch was spitting out teeth." Tig said, looking around the classroom, grimacing at the baby dolls piled in the corner.

"Did everyone see the pictures in the clubhouse?" she asked, looking into the older man's black eyes. "Does he know?" Tig looked down and she swore, standing up and flipping the table she'd been sitting on. Tig didn't life a finger to stop her as she flipped another table, and threw a chair. Nothing was being broken, and she had some shit to work out. He's had the prospect come in and clean it up later. When she finally stopped, her breathing coming in hard breaths and her hands trembling, Tig stepped up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She tried to jerk away but her held tight.

"It's alright." he said putting and arm around her shoulders and hugging her tightly. "So you're a muff diver, we all knew that from your stunt and the clubhouse. Who cares?" she looked over her shoulder and he gave her a creepy smile, his smiles were always creepy though. She pressed her lips to his cheek. Then, slowly, she turned and pressed her lips to his. Her hands gripped his cut as she pressed for a harder kiss. Tig fell into the kiss, remembering how she looked with a girl underneath her like in the clubhouse, or the pictures of her involved in something kinky under a woman's boot. She pressed her body against his, putting a hand in his hair while the other started to pull at his belt buckle. She'd almost gotten his pants unzipped before he came back to himself and pulled away from the kiss much to his dick's displeasure.

"What are you doing doll face?"

"I have one thing that Scott didn't take." she said softly. "I want to give it to a Son." he made a confused face and backed away as she came in for another kiss.

"This about the chick he brought here?" the older man asked, taking her hands off of him and holding them.

"It's about being with a Son, and you're the only one who's not gonna judge me by what I've done." she purred, turning on her sex kitten charms.

"None of us give a shit about that doll." he said firmly, she made a face and jerked away.

"Maybe I just came back to get a piece of ass." she snapped.

"How's that working for you?"

"Fuck you. Of all of the people to give up no strings sex..." he laughed and shook his head at her.

"I'm all about a good time sweetheart, but this isn't about a good time. It's about getting back at a brother. I'm horny, not suicidal."

"It's about losing my god damn-" she stopped mid sentence as there was knock on the door. Jax poked his head into the room, taking in their closeness and Tigs almost opened pants.

"Am I interrupting?" he asked, taking in the state of the destroyed room.

"No. I was just leaving." Tig said, patting his friend on the back as he left the room, fixing his belt as he went. "Good luck." Arika glared as Jax walked in and set the guitar case by the door. As she looked at him now, knowing what he knew about her, she could see imagined disgust etched into his face.

"You okay?" he asked, standing close to her and taking in her kiss swollen lips.

"Fine." everything about her posture screamed otherwise.

"Look, I know it must suck that Opie is here with someone else, but fucking Tig is SO not the answer." she looked up at him and wondered how he could not make sense of everything that was going on when it was all crystal clear in her head, he must be pretending to spare her.

"I know about the clubhouse." she said in a tiny voice. He looked a little surprised, but he didn't say anything. "I just... I needed the money, and it seemed like a safe bet. I don't want to be one of those girls, I want out of that life!" now that she was talking, she didn't want to stop, she didn't want there to be a long enough silence for him to tell her how fucked up she was. "I signed the stupid contract, and he had me. It was like selling my soul to the devil. It's been getting worse, he's been demanding worse... But I couldn't get out from under it." he looked utterly confused, but as tears started spilling down her face he swept her into a tight hug.

"Honey... Sh... Darlin, it's okay." he said squeezing her tight, letting her cry into his cut.

"I let him take over my life, and I want it back Jax. I want my life back!" his jaw tightened as he remembered the letter.

_They'll bring you back kicking and screaming if they have too._

"Sweetheart, you've got it. You're here and you are safe." he said.

"My life still isn't mine. I have to lie and hide... God I'm tired of hiding." she added. He didn't question her. He let her just cry into his chest some more. They stood there like this for almost twenty minutes before someone knocked at the door again. Jax looked over his shoulder to see Opie come into the room, looking concerned.

"Gemma wants Arika to get ready to go on... " he asked concern etched into his features. She looked up from where she'd buried her face in Jax's shoulder, still sniffling but no longer crying. "You okay?" Jax pulled her closer against his chest.

"She's fine." Jax said firmly. "She'll be out in a little bit." Opie looked taken aback by his brother's harsh tone. Arika looked up at him, unsure about what had caused that growl.

"I'll let Gemma know..." he backed out and Arika continues to stare at Jax's angry face.

"What's the matter?"

"I just don't like the way he treats you sometimes." Jax said finally dropping his arms and stepping back himself. "He's been a real dick lately." Arika laughed a little and looked around the room, happily spotting a mirror on the filing cabinet and she

"**I'm gonna live a crazy dream, impossible as it may seem, doesn't matter what the future brings, I'm gonna live a crazy dream.*"** Arika was standing the middle of the stage, playing a smooth melody on the guitar, several kids had secured patches of grass to sit and what her as she sang while the adult hung toward the back of the crowd. SAMCRO had gathered in the back corner, Gemma had sent them relief so that they would have a meeting.

"What are we gonna do with the princess?" Chibs asked, cutting in.

"She hasn't given us anything to work with." Clay answered. "We can't fix the shit if we don't know what's broken."

"She's a little wigged out." Tig suggested.

"**-I'm gonna hold what whole wide world, right here in my open hands.-"**

"No shit. Her mental state is definitely a little skewed. She thought getting into Tig's pants was the solution." Jax added. Chibs and Bobby made a face.

"Maybe we need to check her into the insane asylum." Juice added.

"**- and maybe I'm just a little kid, a little kid with great big plans.-" **

"I found this at the house yesterday, she doesn't know about it." he said pulling the letter out of the pocket inside of his cut. He handed the letter to Clay who read it and passed it along. The crowd burst out into applause and the bikers turned to the stage to add their appreciation to the songstress on the stage as well.

"Thanks! Thank you! Wow. Let's see, I think I have a couple more for you... What's this?" from the back of the crowd the boys could see her kneel down on the stage, and when she stood again she was holding a bouquet of flowers. "Thanks" she said down to whoever had handed them to her. She looked down at them and Jax wasn't sure but something about her smile changed. "You know..." she looked out into the crowd, her eyes looking for something. "I wasn't going to play this..." she set the flowers down on the small table on the back of stage and took a sip of water before she returned to the microphone. "But I know sometimes we all need a little strength." she played a cord on her guitar. "And this song, is about standing tall when things get hard."

She looked down at the guitar and started the next song when something caught Jax's eye. He saw a flash of crimson hair in the crowd.

"**Skies are crying, I am watching. Catching teardrops in my hands**." **

Jax pointed out the strange kid to Opie who immediately puffed up. Before the kid disappeared back into the crowd, all of SAMCRO had seen him and recognized him from the grainy surveillance tape.

"**Only silence, as it's ending, like I never had chance. Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?" **

Jax didn't wait for permission to act from Clay, he pushed into the crowd himself, looking moving to where he'd last seen the guy, his hands already clenched into fists, ready to bash his face in.

"**You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am. Like I'm made of glass... Like I'm made of paper. Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground. Like a sky scrapper... Like a sky scrapper..." **

Soon all of SAMCRO had entered the playing field, each of them stalking through the mass of people who had gathered close together in front of the stage for the performance.

"**As the smoke clears. I awaken, and untangle you from me. Would it make you, feel better, to watch me while I bleed. All my windows, still are broken, but I'm standing on my feet." **

The way her voice sounded changed and Opie looked up at the stage to see her staring into the crowd, her eyes unmoving like they had roamed before in the first song. She saw something - or someone - in the crowd, and she was singing directly at them as she revisited the chorus. He tried to follow her gaze as he moved, but it was more difficult from the distance he was at and how closely knit the people had become.

"**Go, run, run, run, I'm gonna stay right here. Watch you disappear." **

Jax had seen the same thing that Opie had, and he was moving quickly, carelessly shoving people aside, eager to lay hands on whoever had put that spark of fear on the face of the singing girl on the stage, ignoring the ache and burn in his shoulder.

Arika could see Jax and Opie closing in on the prick who'd given her the flowers, just to shake her up. She wondered where they would kill him. Take to the woods maybe? She relished the look of knowing defeat and absolute terror on his face as Jax grabbed him by the back of his neck and Opie took is other arm.

"**Go, run, run, run, yeah it's a long way down, but I am closer to the clouds up here." **

When they reached the outside of the crowd, the kid looked like he was about to shit his pants, he was supposed to give a child the flowers for the girl, and then he was done. He knew he shouldn't have stuck around, but he hadn't wanted to miss all of the fun. Tig and Chibs were laying in wait, and Opie pushed the kid into their waiting hands.

"Clay wants him back at the club house. Gonna call Hap and get some god damn answers." Tig explained.

"Aye, too many eyes here." Jax nodded, but before they dragged the kid away he landed a nice, solid blow to the kid's face, blood splattering out of his nose.

"Get this piece of shit out of here before Jax knocks out all of his god damn teeth." Clay muttered, coming from the crowd, as the song ended and Arika stood on stage saying her thanks. With Bobby emerging, cursing up a storm.

"Shit! Gemma is gonna be pissed, I am supposed to go on now!" he hasn't anywhere near ready to get on stage, he had undone his wig was still in his motorcycle boots.

"Maybe the kid has got one more song?"

Arika had walked off the back of the stage, handing the microphone over to Gemma who was talking about some raffles and other unimportant nonsense. The second she was off the stage, she let her mask drop, panic flowing into her chest as came face to face with Scotts' right hand man. Ryan was a sick son of a bitch who had pushed to see Arika suffer some pain and torture, displeased at the constraints of her contract, and her unwillingness to come into his own bed.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, still standing on the steps of the stage, taking her guitar off of her shoulder and holding it tightly.

"That's no way to greet and old friend now is it?" the scrawny but muscled ginger haired said in an icy tone.

"You're as friendly as a rabid dog you son of a bitch." she hissed back. He shrugged.

"You know, you might have something there... Because a rabid animal wouldn't care who gets hurt as long as he got what he was after." she didn't like the glint in his eye as he pulled out a phone from his pocket. "Question is, do you care?" he held the phone in front of her face and there was a streaming video of what looked like the crowd in front of the stage, she could hear the ego of Gemma's voice through the receiver, and when the video finally stopped moving after a few second she swallowed hard as she recognized the back of a man's head.

"Leave him out of this."

"But of course, however I'm not leaving this party without a goodie bag." she took a deep breath and knew that they had won. There wasn't a thing she would be willing to do that would risk his life. She set down the guitar and took a step toward the man when he jerked back the phone and looked over her shoulder.

"Arika, good." he spun to see Gemma who looked pissed. "Fat Elvis isn't ready to go on, you'll have to do another song." Arika looked back as the henchman then at Gemma.

"Okay. Just a second." she said waving Gemma away, the woman went back onto the stage to reintroduce the brunette and Arika turned to the ginger. "Let me do this then I will come with you. If I just vanish this won't go as smoothly as you'd like."

"I don't mind a little bloodshed." she believed that without a doubt.

"I know, but I do." Gemma reappeared and tapped Arika on the shoulder, handing her the microphone and the guitar. It took all of thirty seconds for Arika to think of what song she would play as a farewell to the chance for a beautiful life in Charming, and what she wanted to say, but it looked like she wouldn't get the chance. "Hi. I'm back!" the crowd laughed. "This song is one that I wrote such a long time ago, for a boy... Well a man, who I care about so much and never really had the guts to tell him." She started to strum on the guitar.

"**Heart. Beats. fast. Colors and prom-ises. How to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall. But watching you standing there, all of my doubt suddenly goes away some how... One step closer. ***" **

The remaining Sons were dispersed through the crowd, off to one side, she could see Opie and Donna standing close together and she felt a stab of jealousy of their happiness.

"**I have died every day, waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you. For a thousand years. I love you for a thousand more." **

As she played the interlude she could see Jax emerging from the crowd to stand by Gemma and Ima, who was sporting a split lip and swollen cheek and a hurt look on her face when Jax refused to let her wrap her arms around him, on the side of the stage,

"**Time stands still. Beauty in all he is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath. Every hour has come to this. One step closer." **

She repeated the chorus and pulled her eyes off of Jax as he shoved Ima away after she tried to plant a kiss on his cheek. She searched the crowd for any familiar faces but found few. It was clear that Charming had been one mistake after another. There was nothing special about this town that could heal all of her hurt or ease her suffering. Not even the Sons could protect her from the shitty choices she made.

"**and all along I believed that I would find you, time has brought your heart to me, and I have love you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more..." **

She stopped strumming the guitar and held the microphone in both hands, singing a cappella.

"**I have died every day, waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you. For a thousand years... I'll love you for a thousand more." **

The crowd erupted, and happy couples everywhere kissed their significant others and Arika bowed silently, then waved, trying to contain her tears as she handed the microphone to Bobby and set down hit guitar on the back table.

"Let's hear it for the Arika Blake!" he said putting and arm around her waist and pulling her to the front of the stage again. They crowd cheered and cat calls were made as she smiled again before giving Bobby a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek trying to convey her thanks and apologies for just walking out on him and the rest of her family. When he released her, she walked off of the stage, letting numbness wash over her for self preservation as Scott's thug took her by the arm firmly and led her through the school.

**These are the songs I used. I am not a big fan of super talented OC's because they aren't realistic… But I just HAD to use these songs, and I thought this worked well… "Her" music plays a very minor role in all of the story… I think this is the last time you actually hear her sing… In this installment anyway =P **

*Whole Wide World – Mindy Gledhill

** Skyscraper – Demi Lavato

*** A Thousand Years – Christina Perri


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Sons of Anarchy. **

**A/N: I am sorry that this has taken so damn long to get done! I've had a hell of a time trying to get this to go where I wanted it to, and then I got it there and now I don't know where it's going next! **

**This chapter is a little darker then the rest. Death and molestation ahead! **

Arika couldn't help but secretly hope that one of the Sons would come bursting through the door to rescue her from her captor, but no matter how many times she glanced around for help, it wasn't coming. When the emerged from the other side of the dark school, Arika blinked in the light and before he eyes could adjust, another man climbed out of the waiting car's back seat. She recognized his nasty sneer as the man who had left her with the bruise on her face. Ryan shoved her into the grasp of the waiting man.

"I have to say, I love it when I get to appreciate my handy work." He said leaning close to her face, pressing a hard kiss on the bruise. She made a face and jerked away. Raising her hand to slap him, but he caught her arm. "That will be the last thing this hand ever does." he growled.

"Get in the fucking car already!" Ryan directed as he dropped into the drivers seat. Thug A pushed into the backseat where thug B pulled her close to him. She barely had time to register that there was a fourth person already in the car when Thug A climbed in, scooting close so that she was squashed between the two of them.

As the festival came to an end, the club members who were still there were stuck with clean up and doing the heavy lifting and deconstructing of booths and tables. They had tried to sneak off, but Gemma had caught them and made them turn right back around. There was almost no body left by the time Juice realized that someone was missing.

"Hey Gemma, have you seen Arika? I wanted to know if she needed a ride home but we can't seem to find her." The matron looked around the cleared field and frowned.

"No... Haven't seen her since she walked off stage." she turned to Bobby "You seen Arika?" he shook his head. "Shit... JAX!" she called, causing the blonde to jump up from the table he's been leaning on while Ima whispered naughty somethings in his ear.

"What?" he said adjusting his jeans, trying to pretend he hadn't been caught in the cookie jar.

"They can't find Arika, last time I saw her was when she was on stage." The blonde went a little pale and shook his head, pushing Ima's hands off of him as she tried to wrap herself around him again. "Go look for her."

"Anyone know where the kid went?" the man, thug C, in the front asked, looking over the seat as the two in the backseat. They shook their head. "What about you girl, you see the kid with highlights?" she shook her head, looking up from her arm where she'd been picking at the scabs left behind by Jax's nails.

"The reaper had him now. I hope you weren't too attached. He was worthless." She was trying, and almost succeeding at playing cool

"He was a moron... Hey! What are you doing?" the man to her left, thug B, looked down at her wrist, and the dark red pool of blood on her wrist. "You wanna bleed?" the man shifted, digging in his pocket, squishing her against the man on the other side. When he sat back, he flipped open a sharp pocket knife.

Tig and Chibs were sitting in the office of the garage, listening to the sound of Happy do magic on his victim. Their expressions were almost bored, as if the screams and sobs for mercy were nothing more then classical music. It wasn't until they heard the roar of harley's that emerged from the office. They'd barely taken a step out onto the lot when Opie and Jax stormed past them, through the office, and into the garage.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?" Opie boomed and the two older members back tracked find out what the fuck was going on. Jax was standing back, watching the taller biker pound the teens face into the ground repeatedly.

"I don't know! I don't know!" the boy cried, choking on the blood that was dripping from his face and mouth as he spit out a tooth. It took all three men, Chibs, Happy and Tig, to pull him off and stop the assault. Jax was utterly calm as he stepped up to the plate, pulling a gun out and putting it to the kids head.

"I don't want to kill you." He said in a soft, scary cold voice. "Someone took my friend. You tell me what I want to know, and I will put an end to all of this shit, I'll call off the torture. That simple." The boy looked up and looked into Jax's ice blue eyes. "Who's after Arika?"

"Scott. Scott Dawson." the boy sputtered. "He owns the club she works for in Oregon."

"Is he in Charming?"

"No, he just sent a few of us down here."

"How many?"

"Four... No! Five!"

"Are they planning on skipping town?" The kid shook his head.

"Boss said he was gonna get a hotel tonight, take her back to Orgeon in the morning."

"What hotel?"

"I don't know-" Jax pulled back the hammer on the gun. "Please, I don't know!" There was a bang and the boys body slumped over, his skull blown open.

"Told you I'd end it." Jax said softly. He turned and barely spared his brother a glance as he strutted from the room again.

There was a loud scream in the back seat as Arika tried to jerk her arm away from the lap of the man to her left, he had been using the knife to slice open her skin. She was slapped by the man on her other side.

"Shut the hell up. We'll give you plenty to scream about when get to the hotel."

"Oh no, we're not going to stop at the hotel." Ryan said, looking up into the rear view mirror. "If that stupid kid is missing what are the chances that the whore's white trash biker boyfriends aren't won't know where to look?" Arika was taking long, deep, breaths. She was trying not to scream and not to motivate another slap as the man with the knife caressed her bleeding arm. She was dying. Her body was fine, but her mental state was about to snap.

"Where are we going then?"

"To send a message. Don't let that bitch get blood on my seat, god knows what kind of filth she picked up with those bikers." The three other men laughed and then thug B pressed his blood covered fingers to her mouth, forcing them between her lips and into her mouth until she nearly gagged.

"You heard him. Don't get blood on the seat." He mocked harshly.

There was nothing but burning rage of failure burning through Jax and the rest of the Sons as they reconvened at redwood table. They had searching Charming from top to bottom, and when their search turned up nothing, they even called in Uncer and Hale for police back up, but they all feared that she was long gone by now.

"There's only one option. We ride to Oregon." Piney said, as if it was the obvious answer.

"How do we know they FORCED her to go? She was all sorts of whacked out today, maybe she misses her girlfriend?" Tig suggested, but quickly took it back when Opie and jax turned their murderous glares on him. "Look, all we know is the kid has been keeping secrets since she'd gotten here. How do we know this isn't another secret she wants to keep?"

"It's not like that. She was hysterical today, they took her. She wouldn't go back to that life willingly." Jax said firmly, daring anyone to question or argue with his theory. He felt like part of this was his fault for bringing Ima to the festival. If he'd left her behind, Arika wouldn't have had a nervous break down and maybe he would have been back stage protecting her instead of with Ima.

"So we ride to Oregon." Opie echoed his fathers words. Clay looked around the table to see if anyone would object as he picked up the gavel.

"We ride for Oregon. Back here in an hour folks."

Ryan had stopped the car twice. The first time was for gas and when he got out he pulled a blindfold from his pocket and threw it into the backseat for one of the thugs to shove over her eyes. She despised the feeling of helplessness that came with loosing her sight, but she didn't want to egg on the mean-spirited thugs. She could still taste blood in her mouth.

The second time they stopped, the man on her right got out of the car again, grabbing her by the hair, he dragged her out as well. She yelped, partly because of the hair pulling and partly because thug B slapped her ass as hard as he could. She tried to use her other senses to get a feel for where they had stopped. She felt hard ground, then soft grass, then something metal the she tripped over close to the building...

"Watch it dumbass." thug A barked, his hand twisting painfully in her hair just because. When his hand moved, the blindfold shifted and she could see a little just a tiny part of the world is she looked downward and to the right. The thug who had a hold of her stopped short, and he hair yanked again. Damn, that was getting annoying. There was a few moments of rustling then a loud crack, like splintering wood, and she was being urged forward again. She stepped through a doorway, the door seemed to be hanging funny from what she could see, and as she moved onto the soft carpet her lungs filled with the tangy smell of spice, cigarettes and whiskey. Comfort and hatred washed through her all at the same time. How dare they bring her here.

Gemma was sitting at the bar when the chapel opened and the bikers spilled out. She slid from her stool to see if there had been any decision, maybe someone had heard something? She moved for her son but a blonde body moved faster and threw herself as Jax who did not want to be bothered with her.

"Jax, I'm so scared, men out there taking wom-" He untangled her from him as fast as he could.

"Not women Ima, Arika." he snapped. "Please, just go home!"

"But what if they come for me next? If their going after the c-"

"Nobody wants that beat up porn pussy." Tig growled, shoving by her roughly.

"They wanted hers." No one had seen it happen, but they heard the backhand Gemma delivered to the blondes face.

"You stupid fucking bitch. How dare you talk about blood like that!" The matron took the blonde by the hair and began to drag her, Ima kicking and screaming the whole way, from the clubhouse. She shoved the woman out of the door hand enough that she hit the pavement, hard. "If your still here when I walk out, I'll be using that bony ass for bullet practice." She slammed the door and turned to the club who was watching, amusement creeping onto their sullen faces. Tig began to clap after a long pause and Gemma sighed.

"Way to go Gem. Show that cum guzzler who's boss."

"No distractions! You go and find my girl!" Jax nodded and let Gemma wrap her arms around his waist and he winced. "You gonna be okay to ride." he nodded, easing out of her embrace.

"I'll be fine, we just have to find her."

They had been to impatient to undress her. She was thankful of that fact as they bent her over the table, untying the straps of her halter top so that her tits were visible as they were pressed into the scared oak, and bunched her skirt around her waist do that her thong covered ass was exposed. Hands roamed over what skin was exposed, clawing down her back and slapping her ass hard enough that she cried out. She was still blind folded as she listened to the house being tossed and destroyed, and a camera clicking away above her, and the buzz of a Polaroid being spit out.

"I asked you a question slut!" there was harsh twisting of her hair and she gasped. "Are you thankful that Scott requested to have you all to himself?" Ryan hissed.

"Yes! I am thankful! You're hurting me!" she cried, her head throbbing from the constant hair pulling.

"Bitch thinks this hurts." he said, amused. He released her hair only to reach underneath her and grab her nipples, pulling her tits toward him until she screamed, her hips already pressed flush to the table wouldn't grant her the means to ease the pressure. She felt a body move around her then the sharpness of a knife against her pale flesh.

"Maybe we should cut them off, show the bitch some real pain." Derek growled. She panicked as the blade bit just a little into her skin, but she was released and the knife pulled away.

"I have to pee." she said after a long silence. Unsure if anyone was still in the kitchen with her. "Please, I will pee on myself if I don't go soon."

"Jesus christ, take her to the bathroom, don't want her smelling like piss the whole way to Oregon. Joe, start putting up those pictures. We can't hang around too long." Derek pulled her upright and she tripped over her own feet as she she was dragged down the hall of the small house to the bathroom. She was shoved onto the toilet before she heard the door slam shut. She hesitated, but the fact that there was no sneering remarks made her think she was alone. Carefully she peeked out from under the blindfold, and once she had confirmed that fact she slid the blindfold up her face a little to cast a look around the room. There was a loud bang on the door and she squeaked.

"Hurry up!"

She began to pee, fixing her top and still looking around the room, hoping that she'd be luck and there'd be a gun laying on the ground... She was just about to give up when she saw the tip of brown leather sticking out of a hoodie pocket. She had gotten lucky. She picked up the KA-BAR knife, and pulled it from it's sheath, then stuffed it under some clothes before she finished her business, stood and pulled down the blindfold again. She lowered herself to the floor before flushing and knocking over the small stand by the door, swearing loudly and letting out a pained scream.

When Derek opened the door, she was on the ground, clutching her ankle, blindfolded like a good little girl.

"Fucking a, what did you do you stupid bitch?" he asked, she could feel him kneeling over her.

"I twisted my ankle... Owie! It hurts! I couldn't see-" he ripped the blindfold off of her face and she was thankful that he pulled some of her hair and her eyes were watering. He was leaning even closer then she could have planned, examining her ankle.

"I don't se-" he choked on the rest of his sentence her uncle's knife slashed across his throat, blood pouring down her hand and dripping onto her legs. She shoved him away from her and stood, fixing her skirt a little and standing over him, reaching in the shoulder holsters for the two guns he was carrying as she watched his eyes starting to fade out.

"Asshole." she hissed. As she stepped over the body and out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her as she tucked the blood knife and one of the guns into the back of her skirt. She lowly began to creep down the hall, both of her hands gripping the gun in her hand tightly, the trigger halfway pulled. She had one chance to get this right or she was dead. She did not want him to come home and find her dead. She peered around the corner and saw that the three men were standing in the kitchen, drinking some beer as if they were just at a barbecue. She aimed down the sights and squeezed. There was a loud bang and brain matter from Joe, thug A, splattered all over thug C who, after another trigger squeeze, went down with a bullet in his throat. Ryan had moved fast after the first shot.

"You are a stupid bitch." he said softly in the tense silence. "You are the stupidest, ballsiest bitch I've ever met." she looked around the corner and hopping that he could see her, she moved across the opening to the kitchen, and into the living room where she took cover again. "What? Too afraid to speak? Can't talk and shoot?" she bit her tongue, not wanting him to mock her, but wanting her position concealed even more. She moved painfully slow around the corner, down the front hallway to the second doorway into the kitchen near the front door.

She pulled the knife from her back pocket and wiped the blood on her skirt before holding it around the corner. She saw his distorted reflection in the metal, kneeling behind the counter, peering in the other direction. She took the shot. She didn't give herself time to aim, and the first shot landed in his shoulder causing him to jerk and fall over. She stood, enjoying the moment of power she had over the situation. He wasn't holding a gun, and she was, that mean she was in control. She felt that sweet feeling of having her shit handled creeping over her again and she wanted to wrap that feeling around her and just bask in it, but there was still one more sick fucker to deal with before she could breathe again.

"I'm a smart bitch." she said, squatting down beside the bleeding man, poking his bullet wound with the tip of her knife and listening to him scream.

"I'll fucking kill you!" he lashed out with his good arm and she leaned back.

"Now that's not very nice." she said, tapping the gun to the mans head. "And you cannot afford not to be nice!" she was being cocky, and that was dangerous. He took advantage and slapped the gun from her hand, grabbing her and wrestling her underneath him. Later, if she survived, she would kick herself for being such an idiot, but at that very moment all that mattered was driving the knife in her hand home.

The second Jax turned onto his street, he knew something was wrong. An ugly green Toyota Corolla was parked in the driveway that he wasn't familiar with. When he pulled into the driveway and saw that the car was empty he went for the house.

The smell of blood hit him first. It was powerful and overwhelming. His eyes were drawn to the kitchen and he froze. The tiled room was flooded with blood, drawing a gun, and holding it at the ready. It had been a long time since the outlaw had seen so much blood, and it almost made him sick. He stepped carefully into the room and looked at the three bodies, one was vaguely familiar, but the other two were strangers. As he walked across the room he could see foot prints in the blood, then a hand print... He walked around the corner, into the living room and hall and his heart stopped beating. Arika was laying there, sprawled across the carpet, a bloody mess. He dropped to his knees beside her and pulled her up, trying to rouse her.

"Arika? Wake up darlin... Come on baby wake up." he said slapping her face a little. She wasn't reacting. Jax lifted her, grunting heavily as he carried her blood drenched body out of the house to the car that was sitting there. He laid her out gently in the back seat then climbed into the front. Instead of going back in and wasting time looking for the keys, her leaned under the steering column and ripped the wiring down and hot-wired the car. "Hold on sweet heart... Hold on."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Whew! The Sons have taken me for a ride! So has Arika... I think I mentioned this before... That I write ahead before I post... I think I might have fond a stopping point for this story though I already know the next installment... I am going to need to tweak the ages a little bit at some point... This is all pre-season one I decided... I would like to write Arika into the seasons... Tweak everyone's story... I have some idea of how I will make that happen... But I don't want it to be like everything else so I am uncertain. Input will be welcomed! Should I break this story into two or should I just make this one longer? I think there is at least another 5 chapters going into this puppy regardless! **

**I'll stop bothering you and let you read now! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own them! **

Jax had been hysterical as he walked in, the limp body of the club's princess in his arms, screaming for help. Underneath the blood, he could see that Arika had gone too pale. An orderly had him lay her out carefully on a stretcher, then she was wheeled away, behind double doors and he crumbled, he fell to the ground, shaking with silent sobs, feeling responsible for what she was going through, the fact that she had obviously fought hard for her life and she was in danger of loosing it.

It had taken him ten minutes and a lot of coaxing from a pretty nurse to get him off his knees and into a chair. That's where Hale and Unser found him as they rushed into the ER of St. Thomas. Hale went for the nurses station to demand information while Unser went to Jax who looked mildly surprised in his numbed state.

"What are you-"

"Nurse called. Looked like an attack..." the old man said sinking into a chair across from the biker. "What the fuck happened?" Jax shrugged and shook his head, trying to blink back a fresh wave a tears. "Where was she?" the blonde realized that there was going to be a problem. If Hale found out the she'd been found in his house, he'd tear the place apart trying to find something to pin on SAMCRO, not to mention the three dead bodies.

He sat up and leaned close to the man.

"My house. Along with three dead bodies in my kitchen." Unser cursed and looked around.

"They dumped her at the clubhouse." he told the younger man firmly just as Hale approached.

"What happened Teller?" Jax gave Hale murderous look, but Unser jumped in before the blonde could go off.

"Let me take care of this David. Why don't you go on and call off the search." Hale glared at his boss but turned and went down the hall, leaving the hospital through the sliding glass doors. Unser looked down on Jax. "You call the boys yet?"

"Shit! No. I was so caught up." Unser put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's fine. I'm gonna go call Clay. Just relax. She's gonna be fine. She'd SAMCRO. She'll be just fine!" he assured the younger blonde before he made his way out of the hospital to make the necessary phone calls. He seemed to have walked out in the nick of time to catch Hale, who had done as he was told and called off the search via his CB radio, as he stomped back up the ramp to go back in. "Where are you going son?"

"Question Teller." Hale snapped, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You got a death wish? That man is at the end of his rope, you start throwing around the badge, and he'll start throwing punches."

"She was stabbed Wayne. Right through her shoulder, her arms are all cut to hell and she'd got a week old black eye!"

"And she was reported kidnapped you moron!" the older man snapped back. "You stop think that maybe the assholes who snatched her might had done that damage?"

"You don't think they did it to throw us off? Clay is a fucking schemer... Or maybe Tig, he probably get's off on bl-"

"Did Jax look like he was playing cover up for daddy?" Hale didn't respond. "You've got such a big hard on for taking down SAMCRO you're making shit up to pin on them. Pull your head out of your ass, and do your job." Hale didn't speak, but just glared at the chief before he turned on his heel leaving Unser to shake his head as he pulled out his cell phone.

"Any news?" the true Charming king asked, not bothering with hello's.

"Yeah. Jax found her-"

"Thank Christ! Where is she?"

" We're at St. Thomas. It's not good Clay."

"Jesus." Tig said as he stepped into the house first, looking into the kitchen at the three bodies laying in the blood that covered the tiled floor. "Doll face did a hell of a job." he said to Bobby who'd walked in behind him and grimaced. Unable to handle sitting by idley while they waited for Arika to come out of surgery, they'd taken on cleaning duty. The blonde was still standing guard at the hospital, they weren't sure if he was unable or unwilling to deal with the carnage in his house. The rest of the members set to work, Happy and Tig taking the bodies out to the garage one by one and making sure they were disposed of while the Juice and the prospect took care of mopping up the sticky blood from the kitchen floor. Bobby made himself busy scrubbing the beige carpet clean while Chibs and Opie worked on repairing the damage to back door.

"Is it just me, or does someone hear that music?" Bobby said looking around as Happy carried the third body from the kitchen out and the fat man worked his way up the hall, cleaning the drops of blood here and there wondering how they'd gotten there. Tig, who was letting Happy finish the last body, and walked to the hall to Bobby.

"Sound like it's coming from the bathroom." the Sergeant at Arms said, sliding by the older man and reaching the door first, he opened in and they both swore loudly as they revealed a fourth body and another blood drenched room.

"God damn! Four! Four fucking bodies and one little fucking girl." Bobby said as he climbed to his feet with a grunt and walked over to the body. The music had stopped, but there had been a loud beep, apparently the man had a cell phone on him somewhere. They said he'd lifted the other mens phones and had made a collection that Juice was going to have to hack so they could get some information because they'd all been locked. It began to ring again and Tig leaned down, searching the mans pockets and pulling out the phone after only a few moment. He pressed the green answer button and jumped as the screen started to load and man with neatly maintained black hair, brown eyes, and a stuffy looking business appeared on the small screen.

"Who are you?" Tig growled. If he was calling the phone of the bad guy, he was most likely a bad guy himself.

"I think the better question is who are you? Where's Derek?" Tig snorted and turned the phone so that the bloodied bathroom floor was evident, keeping the body out of sight for precautionary reasons.

"Think this blood belongs to the Derek guy... Not sure..." Tig turned the camera back to himself. "Looks like your four buddies went missing after our little angel took a bite out of them." The man's face tightened and Tig smirked. "You wanna be like your buddies here, be my guest and try to take what belong to SAMCRO again. If a kid who's been with us for a few weeks can take out four of you sick fucks, imagine what happens when you show your face in Charming and all of SAMCRO comes for your bitch ass." the man kept his expression blank, but Tig could see his eyes narrow just a little. Suddenly Juice appeared at Ti's shoulder, much to Bobby's displeasure as he tracked blood onto the scrubbed carpet, and reached around the phone careful to stay out of view while he did something and the picture on the phone paused for a second then the live video call resumed.

"Your... Angel - as you put it - Is a certified whore. Why would your organization protect someone like her? There is a contract in place, and should that contract be voided, and it is so nearly-"

"Does it look like she gives fuck or that we give a fuck about a god damn contract? Just words on a paper. Find yourself a new star." Tig hit the red button and the screen returned to the home lock screen.

Arika was annoyed. There was some sort of obnoxious beeping going on somewhere to the right of her, but she couldn't place it. It didn't sound like any sounds her alarm clock made, or even the stupid prepaid that Tig had given her. She moved to slap at it, but her shoulder pulled tightly and she hissed and groaned loudly. There was shuffling and a thud over to her left. By the time she blinked her eyes open in the bright florescent light of the hospital Gemma was hovering over her, a brilliant smile on her lips.

"It's about time your lazy ass woke up." she snipped playfully. The twenty year old was confused as to how she'd arrived here. She remembered singing... Being confronted by Scott's buddy... Leaving with them...

"What the fuck happened? I feel like I got hit by a god damn bus." she mumbled, barely coherent.

"You were hit by four of them baby girl." she said. "Four very big, very dumb, and very dead buses." mama bear said brushing Arika's bangs out of her face. She recalled a fussy memory of the bodies in Jax's house. She jerked to sit up and but Gemma was pushing her back. "Easy baby, what's wrong?"

"Jax. The bodies-"

"The bodies are taken care of sweetheart. Tigger, Hap, and Bobby cleaned up the house." Gemma said soothingly.

"Jax?"

"Round here somewhere giving the nurses hell. Didn't think you were getting enough attention. Ripped into the doctors when you didn't wake up right after they stitched you up." she pointed to her shoulder. "That's 34 stitches. You got in there." she looked down at what had impeded her attempt to squash the beeping (upon observation she realized it had been a machine). "Lemme go and get the boys. Bikers aren't known for the patients." Arika forced a smile and nodded slowly. Gemma didn't buy it, but it was okay for her not to be fine right now, she just went through a lot. She leaned down and kissed her head again, reminded her that she would be back in a flash, then walked out of the room.

Gemma had been gone for all of five minutes but in the silence where Arika was left with her thoughts, it felt like eternity. A nurse had come in as Gemma left, checked her vitals and told her that she would been seen by a doctor really soon. When the door opened again, it was quickly made apparent that the room was far to small as eleven bodies piled in around her bed. All of SAMCRO was present, as well as Unser and Happy, and Gemma of course. They all had sleep deprived blood shot eyes, but looked so absolutely thrilled to see her with her eyes opened that it didn't seem to matter. There was something about how they engulfed her hospital bed that washed her with guilt of trying to run from this unadulterated adoration. She was careful to keep her gaze moving, not wanting to linger with eye contact and see in them the changes that come with finding out that she was a lesbian sex worker and a cold blooded murderer all in less then four days. There were only one pair of eyes that she wanted to seek out, but as she looked at him, he was staring off into space just over her shoulder.

"Don't you ever scare me like this again!" She jumped and looked up at Clay who'd shoved Tig aside to be right beside her bed, put a hand on her left, uninjured, shoulder."I'll have to kick your ass." he warned giving her an awkward hug, trying not to hurt her.

"Okay DAD." she said sarcastically.

They rotated in and out of the positions closest to her bed, kissing her forehead and telling her that she was loved and slowly, they filed out of the room until Gemma, Unser, Opie and Jax (who had stood against the wall the entire time) remained.

"Wayne needs to ask you a few questions baby girl." Arika looked uneasy, unsure of what she could or couldn't say, what the club was going to do, what the cops knew about. She looked at Jax who understood her uncertainty and he pushed himself away from the wall and stood on her other side, putting a hand on her right thigh, unable to take her hand.

"Just tell him everything, we'll do the editing later." he reassured, not holding her gaze for too long.

"I don't know where to start-"

"What happened after you came off stage?" Unser asked gently.

"A man from Oregon was waiting for me... He told me I had to come with him or..." she remembered the leverage used against her and swallowed. "Or they were gonna kill a patch. Showed me video of one of his men standing behind the patch... I didn't want that to happen. I listened." Gemma rubbed her shoulder as she spoke. "I was blindfolded in the car... They took me to Jax's... I didn't know where we were until we were inside... I told them I had to pee... Well my knife, the one from Uncle Otto was in the bathroom... I pretended to be hurt... I slit his throat." she chanced a glance up from Unser's badge at Gemma and Jax who'd jaw was tight as he listened, staring off into no-where, she didn't look at Opie, but he gave her a gentle squeeze.

"You said the bodies were in the kitchen." Unser said looking at Jax.

"There are three more in the kitchen." she added quickly. "I took the first pricks gun and went for the other three... Took down the first two pretty quick, but Ryan... The guy in charge kind of... He wasn't so easy..." she put her good hand on her wounded shoulder and blinked a little. "I don't remember much..." Jax gave her a hard look, unsure if he believed that... But the man was laying on his floor dead, what else could she be hiding? The attacker had obviously gotten the upper hand if only for a moment, that story was told by her wounded shoulder.

"SAMCRO is handling the bodies." Jax spoke up.

"Then I guess there's not enough evidence here to chase any suspects." Wayne replied. "Anything else I need to know?" Arika shook her head slowly at the officer, because she didn't want there to be anything else. "Gemma, can I have a word?" Mama bear nodded and dropped a quick kiss on the top of Arika's head before she walked away from her. It took the younger woman half a second to realize that she was left alone with Jax.

The silence was heavy and uncomfortable for Arika, but Jax seemed to be content, still touching her leg, staring off into space until something in his pocket buzzed and he kissed the top of her head because he had to take the call. Arika was too aware that she'd been left alone with Opie

"I don't know what to do with you." his voice was soft, but she flinched as if he'd screamed at her. "But whatever happens now, you have to stop with the bullshit."

"What are-"

"You know exactly what I mean Arika. You've been all smoke and mirrors since you've been back and this is where it landed you." he didn't get louder but his voice got stronger, firmer. "Your hand is out on the table, you can't bluff through it anymore babe."

"I'm not bluffing, I am handling it."

"Are you kidding me? I seriously think you may be mentally ill." he said shaking his head and pacing beside her bed. "This is how you take care of it?" he asked pausing and waving his hands at her bed. "Arika, you're lucky your not dead."

"I know." her voice was smaller then it had been before. "I know... I can't help it."

"Yes you can sweetheart. You can swallow your god damn pride and ask for help." she shook her head again, trying to breath past the weight in her chest. He was asking for too much of her. Her heart began to pound in her throat and one of the beeping machines beeped faster. She felt a hand on her face and she looked up at Opie who was talking but she couldn't hear past the blood rushing in her ears.

"I can't... I can't. I can't!" she chanted over and over as Arika pushed herself up and started to fumble with the bar on the side of her bed, she wanted to be up and on her feet. There was heavy weight on her chest as she shook both sets of bars. She was trapped in this bleached linen prison. She shook more violently as her breath started to come in short gasps and the heart rate monitor started to speed up. Why couldn't she get this fucking bars down? There were hands on her arms and they pulled her back as she tried to crawl over the bars, ripping out her IV's. She fought against the arms, she had to get out of this trap. She was suffocating.

"ARIKA!"Jax shouted over the blood rushing in her ears as she was jerked a little harder against his hard chest. "Shh, darlin, it's okay." he said reaching up and caressing her hair as she gasped for hair. "Shhh." a nurse burst into the room, the heart rate monitor still going berserk.

"What's going on?"

"Get these god damn bars down." Jax instructed harshly before his voice softened to whisper soothing somethings in her ear as the nurse took down the bars and Arika could breathe. She tried to slide out of his grasp as her lungs filled with air but he did his best to hold her tightly through the slick blood. She was going to feel better with both feet, firmly back on the ground. "Breathe sweetheart. You're okay." he said against her ear, caressing her hair still. She couldn't help but melt against him even though part of her was still screaming that her feet needed to find their way to the ground before her heart exploded. It felt so nice to have someone pulling her back from the brink of panic. In the wake of her fear leaving she was hit with a wave of light headed nausea. She looked down at herself and saw the bed linens and herself drenched in blood that was spilling from the direct line to her vein. The nurse was on her in a flash then as Jax eased her back onto the bed.

"She lost a lot of blood." the nurse hit a button on the monitor and suddenly another two nurses rushed in to help the other nurse clean up the mess.

"Jesus Christ!" Jax looked up at the door which had opened again to see Gemma and the Sons standing there, shock on their faces. Gemma's eyes moved from the bloodied bed and patient to the bloodied Jax, just waiting for an explanation. He moved for the door but her hand shot out and grabbed him by his cut.

"Don't leave me."

Gemma had been pacing outside of the hospital room for almost twenty minutes. They wouldn't let her in while they worked on repairing the damage to Arika's IV's and trying to get her on a transfusion to replace the blood she lost. The only person who was allowed in the room was Jax. The matron wasn't sure that had been by choice. Her son was a fierce protector of all things weak and underdog, add his childhood friendship to the girl and Gemma knew it would take the Devil to chase her boy out of that room... And she wasn't even sure the Devil could do it. Gemma was pulled from her musings by the reappearance of Opie who had made a b-line for the bathroom after he'd been tossed from the room. Gemma was about to open her mouth but the door opened and Jax had appeared on the opposite side of the hall

"How is she?" Mama bear asked.

"They gave her a sedative." he said tightly, glaring daggers at Opie. "What the fuck did you do?" He growled his anger filling up the space as he stepped out into the hall.

"I don't know, I-" Jax punched him. Gemma blinked a few times to be sure she'd actually seen her son hit his best friend.

"JAX!" she said grabbing his arm and yanking him back as he drew back to hit Opie again. Opie staggered with the blow but didn't react as he righted himself.

"You stay the fuck away from her." Jax warned. "You stay far the fuck away from her. You keep fucking with her head and I'm gonna fuck with yours." He yelled.

"Keep your voice down Jackson, you won't be any good if you get kicked out." Gemma hissed as she stepped between the two men to ensure they didn't start a brawl. "Everything fine sweetheart." she said as a nurse reached for the phone, most likely to call security judging by the look on her face. "Right boys?"

"Yeah fine." they echoed. The nurse sat back down, but didn't look convinced.

"Now what the fuck happened?" Gemma asked looked op at Opie.

"We were talking and she freaked out."

"What were you talking about?" Gemma asked impatiently.

"About how she needs to cut the shit and start asking for help." he answered. "I'm just as worried about her as everyone else."

"So worried you start jumping down her throat when she just woke up from a two day coma? Yeah, real concerned! You just stood there yelling at her, you weren't helping her when she pulled the IV's out of her arms, when she was losing blood." Jax snapped "That didn't seem very concerned to me."

"You don't know the kind of shit she's in." Opie threw back. "You don't know shit about her. You're around to see one little freak out and all of a sudden you're new guard dog? You don't even know what you need to be protecting her from." Jax shook his head and took a deep breath to so that he didn't shout at his best friend.

"I know that right now, she needs someone in her corner, not someone up her ass about anything." the blonde said as he stepped back against the door to her room. "Stay away from her." he growled again before disappearing into the room again in case she woke up.

**A/N Again!: Let me know what you think bout the stuff from above. The fast I get an idea of where I want to end up, the fast I will be able to post the next chapter which is almost ready to publish! YAY! **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Now we are cooking folks! I have decided that if things keep going in the direction I think they are, there might just be a sequel! It will have some more interpersonal drama rather then outside forces raising hell I think! I would also like to eventually start to write into the Sutter universe eventually, and re-write the seasons with everyones favorite control freak! **

Today should have been a good day, but the reality was, even though she had been liberated from the prison that was Saint Thomas her mood was dark and gloomy. Her only company since when she woke up Thursday and had her little break down was Gemma. It was now Monday morning and Arika hadn't seen hide nor hair of any of the brothers, though Gemma had assured her it was because they wanted her to rest and heal and had nothing to do with the monster she felt like for committing quadruple murder.

Arika wasn't buying it. It was okay for the men to be monsters. It was more then okay, it was required for them to be able to pull the trigger and end a life in a moments notice. The MC's woman had to be tough, had to take a hit and roll with the punches that came with all the secrets, risk, violence, and road pussy... Be able to take care of themselves if someone came after them because of club action... But to murder four men in the home of the mother charters vice president who was after you because you were a run away whore? Those women didn't last long, she was sure of it.

"You feeling okay baby?" the brunette looked over at the woman with highlights and nodded slowly even though her head screamed otherwise as she looked down and adjusted the tank top that she was wearing. It did a piss poor of hiding her bandages. "I know things have been rough lately-" Arika blinked at her. Rough was an understatement. "But shit will level out. It always does baby girl. When the smoke clears, everything will be back to the way it was." Arika didn't want it to go backwards, and she was to afraid of it going forward.

"I know Gemma... I just wish my entire life would level out." she shifted the strap of the sling around her neck and growled. "And I wish that this fucking this was less annoying." she grumbled as they pulled into the driveway of the Teller-Morrow home. There was a herd of bikes parked in the driveway. "Oh Gemma, please tell me this isn't a party." she groaned looking over at mama bear.

"We all need this. Get our minds off of the chaos." Arika rolled her eyes. What chaos was Gemma running from? "The boys are glad to have you home!"

"I want to bathe, drink, and sleep." she said firmly.

"Spend some time with the boys, then they won't hold it against you when you want to shower and sleep. No drinking though, doctors orders."

"Fuck that doctor, booze dulls the pain."

"That's that the pills are for." Gemma said opening her door and stepping out of the car.

"Sure, I can get high, but a little bit of booze is a crime. See? He was obviously a moron." she twenty year old grumbled again as she too climbed out of the car.

"You need to stay hydrated, drinking with dehydrate you sweetheart. You want that arm to heal up, stop being a brat and listen to directions." Gemma said wrapping her arm around Arika's waist and swatting her butt playfully as the walked up the steps.

Arika held her breathe as they crossed the threshold into the classic ranch style home and came face to face with a house full of rowdy bikers. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips as they cheered for her. Suddenly she was on top of the world as Tig pulled her into the room and spun her.

"Ladies and not so gentle men, proud to announce the badass, the gimpy, SAMCRO princess!" he said, mimicking a cheesy old school t.v. announcer. There was more cheering and she laughed again and pulled away from Tig before he embarrassed her any further.

"I'm no princess."

"Got that right. You act like heels are some sort of death trap and god forbid she look at something pink." Gemma teased as she tossed her purse aside and leaned over to kiss Clay's head and perch on the end of the couch. Arika tossed up the finger as she stepped backwards toward the kitchen, smelling something amazing wafting from there.

"I thought I heard your voice." Bobby said from over the sink.

"What are you making?" she asked, bending down to look into the oven, two round cake pans shimmering in the heated box.

"Chocolate covered strawberry cake." he chimed. Arika could had kissed him. She'd never heard of such a cake but the smell coming from the owen was enough to induce a case of chocolate love. She heard a couple quick footsteps and felt a heavy smack on her ass that stung and made her stumble. "Who the fuck?" she turned and saw Tig with a shit eating grin on his face as he crossed for the fridge to grab a beer.

"Sorry doll, I can't resist when there's a perfect target just begging to be spanked." she rolled her eyes.

"You're a perv." Tig nodded, accepting that statement as fact and walking out of the room again. "How long till the cakes are done?" she asked leaning over Bobby's shoulder.

"Long enough." he reached for the mixer and the beaters that were still covered in chocolate strawberry goodness and handed it her her. "That should hold you over." she licked the beater and regretted it because her urge to crawl into the oven and devour the gooey batter that was not yet a cake was doubled.

"Dear god this is sinful." she gasped. Bobby laughed and slapped her hand as she reached around for the other a few moments after licking the first clean. "It's my party!" She whined as if that would make a difference.

"So cry if you want to." he chuckled at his witty reply, but she did not look amused. "That one is for Gemma. Now do me a favor and see if that grill is ready yet." she frowned deeper as she turned and walked away from the cakes that she would swear were her one true loves and out into the sunny back yard. From the door she could see Jax sitting on the swing, looking down on his prepaid.

"Hey." she said in a shy voice that didn't sound at all like her. Jax smiled at her and walked toward her. He had given her some sort of greeting but she didn't process it as she just stared at his smiling face, appreciative of how happy he looked compared to how grim he'd been when she saw him last. "Jax, I am so sorry." she said as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"For what darlin?" he asked putting a hand on her back and squeezing her gently before releasing her.

"Everything. God, where do I start? The bodies, the bullshit, the everything." he shook his head at her. A look started to creep onto his face and she frowned. "Don't get the look Jax. Please."

"What look?" she stepped close and grabbed his chin firmly.

"That kicked puppy look. Give me a smile smile. I don't need you feeling all twisted up because of MY shit." she said putting a hand to her chest. "This IS my shit. I am a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"If I had been there sooner-"

"I'm glad you weren't." she cut in softly. "I don't want you to have that kind of image of me in your head. That's all you would ever see when you looked at me." she tugged at the hem of her t-shirt. "I'm already just a victim..."

"You're not just some victim darlin. You're the strongest, most pain in the ass chick I know. That's part of your charm and your down fall." he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "You are so determined to keep control over everything that when you need help. Even my mother knows when to give it up and let us do what we do."

"And what is it you do?"

"We protect our family. You're home, and you're safe. The rest it is just noise for right now." she was so relived to hear him say that. "I'm gonna go get the stakes, I'll be right back." he squeezed her good shoulder and started to walk past her. She turned, her mouth opening to saying something but has Gemma stepped out onto the back steps she snapped it shut and just waved like an idiot. The two of them went into the house together and she was left alone out in the back yard and she ran a hand over her face and through her hair.

_What are you doing? _She thought to herself looking around and feeling that familiar weight settling in her chest again. She'd murdered four people, her secret was out... What point was there in staying in Charming when the hurt had followed. It had taken hold of her again because Scott was still breathing, their contract was still in tact, and she wasn't free. Knowing Gemma and the Sons they would lock her down to keep her safe. That wasn't freedom, it was trading jail cells.

"Hey!" she looked up from where she'd sunk onto the swing at Opie who was rounding the corner of the house. She smiled, taking long, deep breaths trying to force the weight off of her chest. "What're you doing here?"

"It's my party, didn't you hear?" she joked forcing a smile and leaning back, if he wanted to talk, he could come to her.

"I meant out here. Shouldn't you be inside, resting?" The tall man dropped onto the swing in beside her.

"Like I'd get any rest in house full of bikers." Opie shrugged.

"Fair enough... I wanted to say I'm sorry. I-" she put a hand up to stop him.

"Look, I have enough shit ahead of me to look at the shit behind me." she said firmly.

"I know." he took her left hand and pulled it into his lap much like he had the first time they'd sat here almost three weeks ago. This time when he looked at the underside of her arm he was greeted with a long white bandage. She was tense, afraid of the tirade it would launch him into, but she was pleasantly surprised when he just squeezed her hand. "This must have been awful."

"I've endured worse." she answered in a gentle tone that matched Opie's. She slowly pulled her arm free and returned it to her own lap. "Your girlfriend couldn't make it?" Opie shook his head.

"She's at work... Besides, the club isn't exactly a fan." The backdoor opened and Jax was making his way down the steps.

"Bought time your ass showed up." Arika watched as Opie stood and greeted Jax, and she could see the tension rolling between them. She wondered what that was about but the longer they interacted, they less obvious the tension was becoming. She curled around herself on the swing and listened to them talk about something that she wasn't able to make sense of as she laid across the swing and blinked slowly.

"Your song was beautiful." he whispered he carried her into a bedroom, laying her down on the fluffy quilts and crawling in beside her in the large bed, pressing her hair back behind her ear.

"I had beautiful inspiration." she answered, wrapping her arms around his neck and sliding close to him, pressing herself against the front of his body. "I've been dying for this moment since I was a little girl."

"Was? You're still a little girl." he pushed against her and put space between them.

"What?"

"You're still that same little girl you've always been." he said sitting up turning his back to her. She climbed to her knees and scooted up close behind him, putting her arms around his shoulders, pulling his hair back and pressing her lips to his hot flesh.

"I'm not a little girl." she insisted, pressing her hands down his chest.

"I guess that's true." he said taking her hands and pushing them off of him as he stood up. "Look at the blood on these hands." he said looking down on her with disgust, wiping the blood off of his chest. "These hands are good for one thing." she frowned as she tried to reach out again but there were chains around her wrists. She tried to speak, ask him for help but there was a gag in her mouth suddenly.

She felt hands on her shoulders and she turned her eyes upward to see the woman he had accompanied to him to the festival standing over her, a wicked looking bamboo cane in her hand. Arika hated the cane, it hurt, and she almost always ended up bleeding.

"What's the matter you little brat? Afraid of a little blood?" the woman growled, taking her chin and forcing her face upward. "That can't be it, your covered in the blood of the men you've killed. What's a few drops more of your own?" Arika looked down and her heart began to race as she saw that the fluffy white blankets she'd been laying on were now drenched in blood. She looked up and watched him walking away from her again. He was suddenly so far away... She couldn't help it as tears welled up in her eyes. "Baby gonna cry? Look at her. What a baby... Baby..."

"...Baby... Arika baby wake up." Arika's eye flew open and she jerked, almost falling right out of the swing she'd fallen asleep in but Gemma steadied her. "You were having some sort of nightmare." mama bear said gently as Arika took long breaths to calm her still racing heart.

"I'm okay." she said, sitting up with some difficulty.

"You are all pale... Maybe Chibs should look you over." Arika shook her head firmly.

"No, I'm fine. I just had a bad dream." she said firmly, pushing Gemma's hand off of her forehead. "How long was I out?" she could see Opie and Jax standing at the grill in her peripheral vision, but fought to keep her eyes on just Gemma.

"Just a little while." Gemma answered, rubbing her thigh now, as though that would comfort the frazzled looking girl. In reality it made her feel worse. Arika's skin was crawling with the after shock of her emotionally cruel nightmare. "Clay wants to see you inside."

"Why?" it was a stupid question, she doubted that Clay would have given Gemma details.

"Dunno." she had been right.

"Want me to come in with you?" Opie asked, stepping away from the grill to stand over her. She looked up at him and held out a hand for his cigarette which e handed over without argument as she shook her head.

"Nah... I'm a big girl... And I can run faster then Clay." the three older people laughed as she took a long drag and held it in, mentally stuffing all of her turmoil into the carcinogenic cloud in her lungs before releasing it. There was something refreshing about that feeling. She shifted, trying to get Gemma to move so that she could stand up. Mother bear hopped up, holding out a hand and awkwardly helping Arika up as she took one more long drag before passing it back to Opie. She didn't wait for anything else, she just turned and walked away from the three of them, her mind running through possible conversations that Clay wanted to have with her.

She automatically assumed the worst. She couldn't stay with SAMCRO now that she was out of the hospital, committed four murders, and was practically a lesbian BDSM porn star... Those kinds of things rarely ever went over well. There were plenty of chicks around the club that left a lower body count and were good for something... The only thing she had going in her favor was the fact that she was a sort of legacy. Big Otto was her mothers brother, but with him in solitary confinement, the Sons of Anarchy could easily send her packing and just say she'd run off while he was in lock down.

This train of thought did nothing to ease her mind, instead, her panic level raised three fold. As she walked into the dining room where Clay, Bobby, Tig and Chibs were sitting around one end of the table and she moved to walk to the other end of the table, but Chibs pulled out the chair beside himself and she paused, looking for Clay to approve her seat. He nodded and she sank into the chair while her heart sank straight through the floor.

"How are you feeling love?" the Scotsman asked, putting his hand to her forehead and shifting her shirt to look at her bandage to make she she wasn't leaking through.

"Fine." she said sitting further back in her chair, out of his grasp. "What's up?" she tried to play it off, like her heart wasn't racing with concern over what exactly was about to be said.

"We got a phone call..." Tig said, leaning forward on the table. "Night you were..." What he implied was heavy in the hair. "Well..." he pulled a phone out of his pocket and tapped on the screen a few timed before sliding it across to her. "This our guy?" she looked down at the screen and her gut tightened and she jerked backed as if it had burnt her. On the screen, looking up at her was the bane of her existence.

"Our guy?" she asked trying to play dumb.

"Yeah. The dumb piece of shit who's raising all of this hell." Arika looked around at he other three men at the table, they weren't looking at her, but staring at the table. She wasn't sure how to answer that. She couldn't gauge their reactions to tailor her answer.

"Well?" Tig snapped, impatient and devoid of any revealing emotion.

"That's Scott." she admitted stiffly. There was a shift in the air.

"He knows that you killed his boys." Bobby spoke finally. "Knows how deep you are in with the club."

"You think that this sick prick is ballsy enough to send someone else for you?" Clay asked, making eye contact for a split second before Arika averted her gaze.

"No. He won't send someone else..." She said honestly, though she wasn't sure she wanted to admit what she feared the next step would be.

"If he comes to Charming looking for a fight. We'll give'im one." Chibs said putting an arm around the back of her chair, not touching her, but offering a small comfort to her. He understood her mental state, and knew how to tip toe around the edges of her comfort zone.

"Right." she didn't know what else to say.

"He mentioned a contract." Tig said after a short silence. "We need to know something about this deal?" her cheeks began to burn and she shook her head.

"Look kid, we need to know what's what if SAMCRO is gonna be there for you." Bobby said, giving her a stern look. "Last time you left us in the dark, we damn near lost you, not to mention the hours I spent scrubbing the blood out of Jax's carpets..." She felt a wave of guilt and a tiny part of her was thankful that Bobby only used his Jewish guilt powers for good. She took a deep breath.

"This doesn't leave this room." she said in a whisper that made Clay and Bobby lean in closer. "Or I will kill you all." she hoped they knew she was joking, but wouldn't feel the need to test the matter. She looked down at her good hand that she'd placed on the table and began to explain all of the details of how she'd sold her soul.

**Thanks for all of your support guys! I love hearing from you all! Please keep the reviews coming! It inspires my lazy little fingers to keep moving! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Yay updates! I finally had a major break through and have found a permanent ending for this story, and a concept for the next! Whoot! There's a lot going on in this chapter, and you might feel like you missed something, but it all comes back around! Let me know if anyone is confused! **

"..The fuck?" Arika's head was spinning and she wasn't sure why. She'd felt fine until just a few minutes ago. She felt drugged… Panic set in at the thought. "Damn it." she threw the blanket aside and tested the carpeted floor, making sure it wasn't too mushie, and making sure her feet could hold her weight as she stood and stumbled for the door, catching herself on the frame. She winced as her right elbow bumped into the wall sending a shock wave of pain through her hurt shoulder before she twisted herself through the doorway. "Gemma!" she made her way down the hallway, clinging to the wall as if her life depended on it. "Gem?" she heard the ruffling of papers and heavy foot falls. _Did Gemma get fat?_ She wondered as she stumbled further toward the living room, almost falling on her face but feeling large, hot hands wrap around her arm to catch her.

"Whoa." She looked down at the hands. They didn't belong to Gemma. She screamed. "Hey, it's okay!" when the voice spoke again, without the surprised tone, it was easier to recognize. Opie was standing over her, a little concern on his face.

"Someone is here." She gasped, clinging to Ope's hand. There was a clatter and suddenly Jax and Chibs had appeared in the hallway, guns in hand.

"Where?" Jax whispered drawing close to her and looking down the hallway toward her bedroom.

"I don't know." She said shaking her head as Opie pulled her back, away from where the bad guys could be hiding while Chibs and Jax crept down the hall.

"How do you know they're here?" Opie asked to softly her woozy mind barely heard it.

"They drugged me." She said holding onto him tightly. The men in the halfway froze.

"Shit." Jax sighed shaking his head and tucking his gun back into its holster under his arm. "No one is here darlin." He said glancing at Chibs who was also putting his gun away.

"What do you mean? I'm drugged." She said trying to stand up on her own but her head a fuzzy and woozy mess.

"That wasn't the bad guys princess." Chibs said sheepishly as he approached her. "Just a little something to help you sleep." He said as he reached out to take her arm and bring her back to bed.

"Don't!" She snapped as she jerked back and stumbled, falling on her ass. Opie and Jax moved to help her but she shook her head at them. "Did you know about this?" she slurred, her head feeling heavier.

"Come on sweetheart." Opie said kneeling down. "You need to sleep." she shook her head and almost fell over from the effort. She was fading fast now that the panic had subsided. She was helpless as Opie scooped her up and held her close to his chest as he carried her back down the hall to her bed.

"They are gonna get me." She whined as he laid her down on the bed

"No one is gonna get you baby. Me, Jax, and Chibs are right here. Just be good and get some rest."

"I always try to be good Ope…" she said trying to sit back up trying to peel the bandage on her arm off but the medical tape was too strong for her weak fingers. "When someone cuts you, it makes it less fun to do it yourself." She slurred as he pushed her back down onto the mattress again.

"I know. Just sleep now." He said pulling the blanket up to her chin. She was losing the battle so she just nodded and rolled over. Her mind must be playing tricks on her because there was an angel standing in the doorway.

It had been three days since she'd seen Opie or Jax. She was too pissed off to see either of them. She would have avoided Chibs as well, but the battle medic insisted on check on her wounds and bandages. She hadn't been happy about letting the Scotsman near her again after he'd laced her tea with sedatives, but Gemma had thrown a bitch fit.

Tonight was Friday, and in addition to the traditional post church party, the Tacoma, Tucson, and Oregon were in town for Juice's birthday bash. Arika was thankful to have secured an invitation, being locked up in Gemma's palace. She didn't even argue when the woman demanded she get the opportunity to play barbie. Arika couldn't have managed to get herself looking decent with only one well functioning arm, though she was able to move her right arm with only mild pain and discomfort. When Gemma parked the car, she turned to Arika with a serious expression on her face.

"What?"

"If ANYONE not wearing a cut comes within five feet of you, you find a member you understand?" Arika rolled her eyes. "I'm not kidding."

"I know you're not Gemma, that's what so aggravating about it." she opened the door and stepped out of the car, putting a pretty little smile on her lips. She felt gorgeous except for the bulge of bandages . She'd put on a pair silver heels and a simple little black dress that had one sleeve on the left (thats how Gemma knew it would be perfect for tonight) and hugged her body closely. Her hair was in a pile on top of her head with ringlets falling to frame her face just right. She felt very grown up and sophisticated as she walked towards to clubhouse.

"Knock'em dead baby girl." Gemma encouraged as she walked toward the ring were Clay was standing, watching some of the Tacoma prospects fight. Arika went the other directions and headed for the door to the clubhouse instead.

Maybe drinking wasn't the best idea. Well, drinking hadn't been the problem, but playing battle shots with the prospect had done her in. She was fairly drunk as she stumbled from couch to couch, making her rounds and fawning over the patches like she'd grown up watching the Crow Eaters do. She wanted someone to take the bait and lead her into the back, throw her on the bed and -

"Whoops!" she stumbled into Tig who was talking to a Tacoma patch. "Hey there. Just the pervert I was looking for!" she said putting her good arm around Tig's waist.

"Hey doll face." he answered, putting his arm around her waist as well. "Enjoying the party a little too much." she put her finger to her lips.

"Sh! I'm drunk." she said in a stage whisper causing both men to laugh. "I think I need to be put to bed Tigger." she said squeezing his hip tightly.

"I'm not going near a bed with you sweetheart. I know the kinds of sick fantasies virgins have." she laughed and slid away from him and turned to a Tacoma member, but Tig yanked her back before she could say a word. "Oh no you don't. I think someone has had a little too much." he nodded to his brother and he pulled her back, leading to the hallway that led to the apartments.

"See, I knew you wouldn't disappoint." she admitted as he lead her into the apartment she'd been occupying before the attack. The moment they were inside she turned and pushed him up against the wall beside the door and kissing the sadistic biker hard. He indulged in the idea of admitting defeat and taking her to bed, but he knew better. After he'd tasted her kiss and the tequila flavoring, he knew that she'd regret it in the morning. Someone doesn't fight this hard to stay a virgin to give it away to someone like Tig.

"I'm sorry. I um... Gotta get a rubber." he said pushing her away and pressing her down onto the bed. "I'll be right back. Don't move or the deal is off." she nodded and waited until he had left the room before she stood up and unzipped her dress, walking toward the dresser to look at her reflection. As she walked she tried to shimmy out of her dress and that would prove to be a serious mistake. The mix of booze, heels, walking, shimmying and general bad balance was an awful combination, She stumbled and fell forward, her arm catching the corner of the dresser.

"Shit!" she hissed as she landed on her knees, feeling a familiar warm dripping sensation rolling down her arm. She turned and looked at her arm, just above her elbow, she could a s decent sized gash dripping blood. "Mother fucker!" she groaned as she pulled herself up and stumbled toward the bathroom, ignoring how the dress was hanging oddly on her body as she ran warm water in the sink and grabbed a paper towel to try and stem the blood flow quickly. The fall and the sharp sting of her wound had brought her to her senses a little bit. Her reflection looked surprised her.

Wisps of hair were coming loose and falling around her face. The bandages on her right shoulder were peaking out from the crooked neckline, and now her left shoulder was bleeding, dripping blood down her arm. She was a total mess, she had to admit... She hadn't planed on getting to drunk but upon entering the clubhouse she was greeting with a stomach twisting sight.

_He had been sitting on one of the couches, the same bitch from the Taste of Charming festival draped over his lap, kissing on her and whispering things in her ear... _

Her thoughts were interrupted by the opening and slamming of the bedroom door behind her. "About time Tigger!" she said looking up in the mirror, choking on the sight of his reflection. It hadn't been Tig who had come back for her.

"What did you do?" he asked, his voice harsh as he staggered toward her. His eyes darted between her bleeding arm, bloodied fingers and the guilty look on her face. "No, no, no, no, no, no!" he almost shouted as he made it to her, grabbing her by the arm and jerking her out of the bathroom. "I didn't want to believe it." he said as he pulled her close, looking at the gash on her arm. "How could you! You made a promise!" she was confused as she tried to pull out of his grasp, his fingers squeezing too tight.

"You're hurting me!" she said as he jerked her close again. Despite her discomfort and confusion she couldn't help but appreciate how well the smell of cigarettes and Jack Daniels mixed with his cologne and was absolutely intoxicating.

"That's what you like right?" he whispered in her ear. "That's what helps you keep your shit together, isn't that how you put it?" he asked raising his other hand to the back of her head, grabbing the back of her hair and pulling her head back so that she was looking at his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" she answered, her cloudy mind trying to connect the pieces.

"Don't lie to me." he said pushing her roughly toward the bed. "Don't lie to me anymore Arika. We both know what I'm talking about." he said standing over where she had fallen, sprawled across the bed. She wasn't sure what was happening anymore. What this another bizarre dream? "Where else did you do it?" he demanded. "Where?"

"Do what?" she asked dumbfounded. He laughed, but it wasn't his sweet, intoxicating laugh, but a colder and bitter laugh.

"You wanna play dumb?" he slurred as he dropped on his knees, straddling her thighs as he reached for the neck of her dress and pulled the material apart. She tried to push his hands away feebly. She'd had dreams about this moment, but it hadn't never been under these utterly confusing circumstances. "You are never going to hide this from me again." he growled as he tossed away the ruined satin garment and looked down on her. Her skin looked perfect, unmarred by any more wounds, but he traced his fingertips all over her to be sure... He had to be sure she hadn't hurt herself anymore. She shivered at the touch and arched her back as he brushed the top of her panties. The fresh looking pink scars on her thigh caught his eye as she wiggled and his heart began to race.

"Don't!" she said grabbing his hand and pulling it back as he reached to caress the scars. He wondered when she'd done it. How had she done it? They were too new and too pink for them to be that old. She was in Charming when they were made... Where had he been? He looked up at her face but she wasn't looking at him. She was looking anywhere but at him.

"Why?" he asked leaning forward, bracing himself on either side of her head so that he filled up her line of vision. She shook her head, turning her head to the side. "Look at me!" He grabbed her chin and turned her face to look at him. "Tell me why?" he stared back into her pale green eyes, almost drowning in the emotions he saw there that he almost missed her whispered response.

"Sometimes I just need to hurt." her voice was shaking as he leaned down closer.

"You should have come to me. There are so many better ways to hurt baby." they were inches apart and then suddenly, she closed the space and her lips were on his. He was stunned at first but there was something about the way she was pulling him down to her hungrily that spurred him to react in kind.

As he pulled her into a tight embrace she shivered at the way his clothes rubbed against her exposed body. It was an interesting sensation to say the least, but it had to go. She wanted - NEEDED - to feel the heat of his skin searing against hers. She tugged on his shirt and a moment later, he broke the kiss to rip it over his head. Her brain was overwhelmed by sensation as he pressed against her again, his firm hot chest against her... It was almost enough to make her scream but then he pulled away abruptly and she whimpered instead.

"I'm gonna make you forget all about the drama baby." he told her, standing and undoing his belt. "You're not gonna feel anything but me for a long time." she breath caught in her chest and she was afraid she was going to pass out before he climbed back into the bed. "I'm gonna teach you a lesson you will never forget."

**I wanna give a big thanks to LonePalm and Duffster21 who left some pretty amazing reviews that helped motivate me to stop slacking and fix everything to get this posted! As always thanks also goes out to ILoveAnime89, Straight Edge Queen and HermioneandMarcus. Having fans to follow my work is a great feeling! It really helps keep me with it! **

**I wanna also apologize for typo's. I always try to spellcheck and keep everything nice and tidy, but I do a lot of writing at three AM and it's just really hard to catch everything! **

**Finally, I wanted to get everyones thoughts on the cover I made for this story. There is a link to the Tumblr post in my profile (I don't know the riles about posting links in stories...). Check it out! Feedback is always appreciated! **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hey all! I am so sorry that this took so long to get this up.**** I got a lot of feed back about confusion in the last chapter. Sorry about that. It was a poorly done transition to get us to this point where things shift and start to happen.**** There are a lot of people that are hoping that this story goes one way… It's not the case. I am sorry – But I hope that the readers who I disappoint stick through the story… I hope you stick with me until the end. I will not disappoint. I have another story idea in the works for after Control Freak is done to meet the demands of anyone not pleased with this outcome.**

**Disclaimer: SoA is not mine. **

She expected a headache. She remembered there had been a lot of booze involved in the activities the night before, but her headache was the least of her worries. She pushed herself up from the mattress with a groan. What had happened last night? She felt like she'd been rammed by a bus... Her back ached and burned, shoulder throbbed and the place between her legs was raw and ached painfully too, and there was a dried stickiness there. She looked down at herself and blanched at the sight of blood smeared all over the sheets. Arika's heart pounded loudly as she looked over beside her and saw the lean body there. The sight of those muscled arms that twisted her into so many positions, demanding satisfaction for the owner of them caused a tidal wave of remembering to crash down on her. He was laying on his stomach, his face buried in the pillows, his blonde hair glowing in the sunlight... His back was littered with claw marks and she could see hickeys and bite marks up and down the side of his neck... It was a beautiful sight knowing that she had left them... That any bitch who came near him was going to see HER handy work for once. She pressed her lips to the heated flesh of his shoulder before she rolled out of the bed slowly. She pulled the sheet over him before she crept slowly and painfully toward the bathroom, tripping over the bikers large military knife. She swallowed hard, flashes of the night before rolled through her mind.

_What was happening? Her mind was clouded as the SAMCRO vice president fell upon her. His flesh felt hot as it pressed against hers. He wrapped his hand through her hair and pulled her upwards, kissing her lips. Every point of contact between them felt electrified. Suddenly the warmth left her. She whimpered and sat up to follow the warmth but he shoved her ba__ck__ against the bed. _

"_Stay put." He snarled, slipping off of her. She pushed herself up on her hands he picked up his jeans. "What did I tell you?" he snapped, throwing the pants on the bed, and reaching for her. She took his hands, pushing them away as they tried to grasp her arms, reaching for him and pulling him closer, hands grabbing his hair and pulling him forward kissing him back. _

Once she turned on the shower, she looked at herself in the mirror, giving the water a chance to heat up, and she blushed as she studied her reflection. Her skin was littered with bruises in the shape of bite marks all over her neck, shoulder and chest. She could see hand shaped bruises on her arms where he'd held her tight for leverage as he fucked her over and over… she looked down at her legs, at the dried fluids between her thighs. Arika looked back up at the mirror and turned slowly, swallowing hard…

_She was reveling in the heat that radiated from the prince of Charming. He had possessed her so completely. He pressed her face down into the mattress as she moaned and screamed while he rode her. Sweat coated both of them. The scorching heat between them was sharply contrasted by the press of a cold knife._

The woman picked up a small grimy shaving mirror and held it up over her shoulder.

_He fell forward, curling over her, pressing the cold steel against her back. _

"_I know what you want." He whispered in her ear. "I'll give it to you." _

Jax startled awake at the sound of shattering glass. His head throbbed and his muscles were tight as he rolled from the bed. He stumbled across the room, nearly slipping on a ruined scrap of satin on the ground along with his t-shirt boxers and jeans.

"Everything okay?" he asked opening the door to the en suite bathroom. The sight that greeted him shocked him. "Arika?" The brunette was hunched over on the ground, picking up the shattered pieces of an old shaving mirror. She had barely had a chance to look up at him when sickness overtook him.

"Shit, you okay?" she asked, falling out of his way as he lunged for the toilet. He dropped to his knees beside her and emptied the alcohol soaked contents of his stomach into the porcelain basin. He felt her gather his blonde hair back from his face, holding it tenderly so as not to pull it as he jerked and heaved until his stomach was empty. He folded over the seat, cradling his face against his arms. "Jax, you're in worse shape then me." She mumbled, leaning over and handing him a wad of toilet paper to wipe his mouth with. He grunted his appreciation as he wiped his mouth.

"Did someone get the number of the bus that hit me?" He asked, still leaning against the toilet as he reached up with his heavy limbs and flushed away the rancid smelling bile. "Or you?" The moment he turned his gaze on her, he felt his stomach start to roll again, and it had nothing to do with the copious amounts of booze he consumed the night before. "Jesus fucking Christ." He swore, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder, tenderly caressing the sickly bite shaped bruises on her skin. His hand dropped lower, and he barely made contact with the gash on her arm. Arika was completely still as he touched her. Even now in the steam filled bathroom, his touch was impossibly warm.

"Jax..." She pushed his hand away from her. "Let's not do this right now."the brunette woman asked, her pale green eyes pleading with him to let it go.

"And when is a better time? After you've done this again?" He meant to sound concerned, but it came across as accusing instead.

_Teller's mind was reeling. He had thought about having the prospect cut her off, but he knew better then to rely on that. The girl had SAMCRO in her blood, and an ass that made that dress hang just right on her hips... She was least she was safe where he and the club could see her. He had kept his distance from her, it had been made clear that he and Opie were both persona non grata in her presence after the drugged tea incident... But he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. He couldn't relax and enjoy the porn star draped across his lap, pouring shots down his throat, working her hands under his shirt._

_Arika was becoming more erratic. Jax was feeling more then a buzz having made his way through have of the fifth he'd procured for him and his lady friend. He watched her make the rounds like so many of the women did. She perched on the laps of a few familiar faces, gushed over a few new ones... Jax just wanted to walk up to her and shake some sense into her what was she thinking? She was acting like one of the cheap crow eaters, throwing herself at every cut in the room. _

_The woman in his lap was nibbling on his neck now, her hands slipping into his pants. He groaned a little and leaned back in the booth to give her more space to work. He looked back into the crowd and he could see Arika being led off the floor by Tigger. _

_"Fuck." He grumbled, pushing the crow eater off his lap and jumping to his feet. She was drunk, and Tig was a sick bastard. There was no telling what the pervert was going to do to her. He had just stumbled around the corner, when he ran head first into the devil himself. "Where's Arika?" Jax asked, brows raised._

_"Little miss drunky is in bed. I'm hoping she'll pass out for the night." Tig answered, clapping his VP on the back and walking past him. The blonde stared at the door. She was drunk and alone... Who knew what kind of damage she would cause. He moved for the door, not bothering to knock._

_"About time Tigger!" His worst fears had been confirmed. Hot rage and cold fear rushed through him. He had thought he knew the girl. He had watched her grow up... But he hadn't known any better all those summers she spent here... _

_"What did you do?"_

"I didn't do anything. I tripped and banged my arm on the dresser." She growled, shoving his hand away from her. She stood up, but he caught her arm.

"Well what was I supposed to think? You kept this shit from me-" Arika looked down at him, her green eyes glazed over.

"You know why I never told you Jax?" She asked, pulling her wrist from his grasp. "Because then you would over react. Just like you did. Just like Opie does. The only blood intentionally spilt here last night is on your hands. Not mine." She turned and paused, giving him a chance to take in the long thin cut across the top of her back before carefully stepped over the broken glass on the floor. "You have the shower. I'll catch one at Gemma's." Jax didn't move from where he sat on the floor as he listened to her shuffle about the room some more. "I'm taking some of your clothes from the dresser. You can keep the dress." She called out before he heard the dorm room door open and close.

Jax wasn't sure what to do. What they had done - what he had done - last night was replaying in his head like some kind of kinky porno. He was aroused and disgusted with himself. The was more bothering Jax then his inability to reconcile how he felt about the previous nights events. The VP was very aware that both he and the younger woman were littered in the evidence of their night together and that it wasn't going to be a secret for long.

There was serious blow back for this coming over the horizon. Even Tig, the club pervert, had enough sense and decency to walk away from the intoxicated girl. Then there was Opie. How did he explain to his best friend that he fucked the chick he adores and went out of his way to protect? The blonde was never clear on what was between Ope and Arika, but there was obviously something between them. His head was spinning. The heat of the shower was calling out to his aching muscles. The impending doom would have to wait at least fifteen minutes.

The water felt amazing on his aching muscles, but his mind was still buzzing as he thought back to the start of this, four days ago, after he had learned the truth.

"_I always try to be good Ope…" she said trying to sit back up trying to peel the bandage on her arm off but the medical tape was too strong for her weak fingers. "When someone cuts you, it makes it less fun to do it yourself." She slurred as he pushed her back down onto the mattress again._

"_I know. Just sleep now." He said pulling the blanket up to her chin. She was losing the battle so she just nodded and rolled over. Opie sighed and turned to leave her in peace but his heart stopped as he came face to face with his best friend and club vice president. Jax looked between Arika and Opie for a few seconds before he backed out of the doorway and stormed up the hall, his friend hot on his heels. "Jax!" The blonde didn't stop until he spilled onto the back porch and then spun on his friend._

"_Tell me I'm crazy Ope. Tell me that I am out of mind and she didn't __mean what I think she did__." he growled, his tone low and menacing. Opie shook his head slowly, looking down at the ground. "So it's true?" Jax felt sick. "How long as this been happening?"_

"_Since she was a kid." his voice was quiet. Jax felt like he'd been punched in the gut._

_"And__ you've known this whole time? You didn't think about letting someone know?" he shouted. _

"_I have it under control!" Opie shouted back defensively. "There's some shit you don't put pressure on Jax."_

"_He's right." Jax and Opie looked at Chibs who wondered out to make sure the pair didn't kill each other. Chibs was in on it too? "Getting the club involved in this would have been harder, __God forbid__ Gemma found out..."_

"_Both of you are going to tell me everything." he said pointing and angry finger at them. "Every god damn detail."_

Arika was mildly surprised by the amount of conscious bikers milling about the main room of the bar. The 20 year old made a b-line for the door. She had no interest in socializing with any of the visitors, and even less interest in talking with SAMCRO members.

"Hey doll face, how are ya feeling?" She jumped as she spilled out of the club house to be immediately accosted by the wire haired Sargent at Arms.

"Fine and frickin' dandy." She said, side stepping the biker. No one should be standing that close to her. She reeked of sex.

"Yeah, I bet." He said with a smirk. Arika was about to open her mouth to tell him to knock that stupid look off his face when the roar of a Harley cut her off. She looked over Tig's shoulder at Opie who was backing his bike into his spot in the row of SAMCRO bikes. "You alright kid?"

Arika didn't answer, she was staring at the tallest biker, watching him dismount his bike and take off his helmet. He looked toward her and Tig, but he looked back down awfully quick.

_"You made a promise." _

Jax's slurred statement floated back to her, and suddenly it clicked, and she felt her whole body flush with anger. She never promised Jax a damn thing, but Opie on the other hand...

"Excuse me." She said, side stepping Tig who was still looking at her.

"Hey Arika, how's it goi-" Arika had drawn even with him, pulled back her arm and, before Opie could react, she had punched him in the face. Opie staggered from the shock of it. "What the fuck?"

"How dare you?!" She raged, shoving him as hard as she could while he was off balance, making him stumble and trip over his feet. He had barely hit the ground when she was on top of him, and she delivered another harsh hook to his jaw. "You stupid fucking asshole, how dare you?!" She drew back again, but Opie grabbed her wrists, holding them over is head, to keep her from being able to hit him again.

"Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong?! Like you don't fucking know." She snapped, wriggling her hand free and slapping him with and open hand, as hard as she could. Opie was losing his cool, so he was thankful when Tig appeared, wrapping his arms around Arika and yanking her off of the giant. "Let me go Tig, this is between me and Opie." She half screamed, trying to wriggle out of his grasp too. Tig was a little too adept as restraining women. He lifted her off her feet and dragged her away from the scene. She was still screaming obscenities over her shoulder as Opie got back on his feet. They were almost to the office of the the garage when Tig set her down. She turned immediately to dash past the man and lunge at Opie again but Tig caught her.

"You need to calm the fuck down doll face." He said pulling her towards the office and pushing inside, stepping in behind her and slamming the door behind them.

"Stay out of this Tigger." She spat, will venom in her voice. "That fucker has it coming to him. "

"Yeah? Well here in front of two other charters is not the place for that shit. That kind of shit looks real bad for the mother charter."

"Cause god forbid a SAMCRO let a bitch get uppity." She sniped, puffing up her chest. Tig was more her size.

"Enough!" He growled.

"Fuck yo-" she didn't quite finish the thought, Tig grabbed her and slammed her up against the door.

"I said enough." The force knocked the breath out of her, and she froze. "I don't know what the fuck has gotten into you. But it stops right now, or so help me god, I will beat it out of you like any other gash." He has expected her to be scared into submission, he did not expect to see her eyes glaze over with tears. "Fucking Christ..." He murmured, letting her go, and running his hands through his black curls. This is why he hated women. One moment, they are trying to beat a brothers brains in, the next they start that crying bullshit. If it had been just a crow eater or one of Luanne's girls, Tig would have shoved her out of the way, and left her on tears... Fuck, if it had been anyone but family, he would have thrown the bitch off the lot and been done with it. This was family though, and that obligated him to put up with a little more of her crap.

Arika was still standing against the door, holding her breath. It wasn't that Tig had hurt her in his man handling. She felt herself unraveling and it made her breath catch in her chest. Tig had lit a cigarette and she reached her trembling hand out for it. The biker was kind enough to oblige her.

"I'm sorry." She offered meekly. "I shouldn't have aired dirty laundry in front of the guests." She added taking a drag of the cigarette, her hand trembling still as the adrenaline left her. "Will you take me back to Gemma's?"

"You gonna stop acting batshit crazy?" He asked harshly. She nodded, took one more drag and handed the cigarette back to him.

"I'm okay." Tig gave her a hard look, trying to determine of that was the truth or not. Her expression had become completely neutral. Now that was a trick that he didn't see a dame pull off very often. She had the same mask on her face like he had after he came back from the war. It took a lot of effort to school your features to look to calm when you felt crazed. It made him a little uneasy, but he had known right off the bat that Arika was a bitch of another color, but now he was starting to realize, those colors might be darker then he realized.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: So I made it a point to write this a little faster… I had most of it written out but then changed a lot in the last chapter and had to re-do all of this one… But I had a starting point at least. I am so thrilled with all of the feedback, favorites, and adds! It means so much to me that people are enjoying my twisted little brain child! The more reviews I get, the more inspired I feel! **

**Disclaimer: They aren't mine… Though I wouldn't say no to keeping Charlie as a pet. :P **

Arika had reached her limit. She moved like a zombie when she returned to the Teller-Morrow homestead. The brunette didn't speak to Clay or Gemma as she walked in, just nodded at them as she headed straight for the bathroom.

"What's with her?" She could hear Gemma ask from the living room.

"Fuck if I know. She started wailing on Opie in front of the clubhouse." If Tig had anymore to say, Arika didn't hear it. She had stepped into the bathroom and firmly closed the door behind her.

She turned on the shower, then leaned against the counter, waiting for the water to heat up. Arika didn't have it in her to look at her reflection again. She didn't want to see the ghost in the mirror. She could feel how disconnected she had become, but she didn't care to do anything about it. This numb shock like state was what she always dreaded, always chased away with pain and cutting.

It was always the same. A wave of emotions would hit her, knock her off of her feet, and she either reined them in her own special way, or she turned into a zombie, too overwhelmed to be coherent. The emotions would short circuit her nervous system and suddenly she was completely blank. Her mind felt foggy as she finally began to disrobe, and the heavy weight in her chest ached. The floodgates had closed, but there was still a tidal wave of shit behind them.

~*~

Jax wasn't thrilled about rejoining the real world outside of the hot sanctuary that was the shower, but the water was starting to cool, and there was a mess left for him to clean up. He shut off the water begrudgingly and reached for a towel.

The blonde VP had just stepped over the shards of broken mirror when there was a knock on his door. He froze for a moment. No one should see the state of the bedroom.

"Just a second." He called out looking around the room in a hurry. There was blood on the sheets, and clothes scattered all around.

"It's me -" the door started to open and Jax threw himself across the room to slam it closed again in Opie's face.

"I said just a second bro." He said, clicking the dead bolt and looking around the room again. He needed to stash the sheets, the clothes weren't out of the normal. He stripped the sheets and crumpled them into a ball, throwing them into the empty hamper, and threw a shirt over atop of them before turning back and going to the door.

"What? Hiding the evidence?" The taller man joked, stepping past his towel clad brother. "Am I interrupting?" Opie asked looking towards the bathroom, half expecting someone naked to come out of the bathroom. The tell tale marks on Jax suggested that he had company last night.

"Nah, just trying to cover up my junk." Jax said grabbing his towel clad crotch for emphasis. "You're bleeding." Jax observed as the man plopped down onto the stripped bed. Opie put his hand to his lip, sighing when he saw the blood on his fingertips.

"Yeah. Fucking Arika..." Jax knew that his best friend had no clue, but the wording still made his gut tighten.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"She tried to claw my eyes out in the parking lot. She just went off the god damned deep end." Jax nodded, picking up his jeans and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He couldn't be certain, but the blonde would bet his bike that it was something to do with Opie selling her out.

"She's not right Ope. She is not the kid that used to follow us around like a puppy." The blonde grimaced. He could do without the mental image of an even younger Arika. It didn't mix well with the perverse thoughts, no - memories, he was already having about her. "Oregon wasn't good to her. "

"Life hasn't been good to her Jax. Having a mom like Jo? Being ripped away from her family? Being sucked into that life?" Opie shook his head. "I don't think I would hold together well either man." Jax listened, but he was staring hard at the ground.

"Was it always this bad?"

"As bad has being a prostitute in a BDSM club? No, not that bad, but that girl has never had peace Jax. Never."

"We're about to fix that bro. And then nothing is gonna touch her, she's gonna stay right here, and we will make sure she gets the peace she's looking for."

~*~  
>Arika's skin was bright red when she emerged from the bathroom. She had spent too much time under water that was too hot, but as she emerged she felt a lot like herself again. It wasn't as gratifying as cutting, but it did the trick in a pinch.<p>

_How did it get like this? _She wondered as she pulled on a tank top. She reached for Jax's hoodie, planning to put it back on as it hid the evidence well, but she paused to admire the marks all over her shoulders and cleavage.

As long as she could remember, Arika had been absolutely infatuated with blonde. He had always been her knight in shining armor when she was a kid. She smiled to herself, thinking back to the moment her infatuation started.

"_Hey, biker girl!" Arika looked over her shoulder and groaned. She was really getting tired of this. The 12 year old had been on her way home from school, walking because her mother had never shown up, and she had hoped the trip would be uneventful. No such luck. _

_Behind her were three old boys, 8__th__ graders with a god complex, and they always enjoyed harassing the youngest known associate of SAMCRO. _

"_Fuck off." She snapped awkwardly, turning and moving up the side walk a little faster. She heard their foot steps jogging towards her and she tried to move a little faster. _

"_Your biker buddies teach you to talk like that?" the ring leader of the group, Dylan, asked her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Kid like you shouldn't be talking like that." _

"_What do you expect from biker trash?" asked one of the other boys, Matt. Arika could feel her ears burning red as she squirmed away from Dylan._

"_You know what my mom does when I use dirty words?" asked Dylan, pulling her tigher to his side. "She cleans my mouth out with soap." Arika squirmed harder as he started to guide her toward an ally way. "I think you could use some cleaning." _

"_Let me go!" she said loudly, looking around the street, praying for help. There didn't seem to be anyone around to see her be pulled into the ally though. Arika stomped on the boys foot and shoved him as hard as she could. She turned to make a break for it, but the other boys caught her and held her arms. _

"_That wasn't very nice." Dylan said, scowling at her. "Now you're really gonna get it." He said dropping his back pack and leaning over it. Arika tried to pull away from the other boys, but they were bigger and stronger than her. Dylan straightened up, holding a bottle of hand sanitizer in his hand. "Let's clean up that dirty mouth." Arika screamed, but then snapped her mouth shut as he drew close with the opened bottle. Dylan held her nose though, and after a few moments, she was forced to open her mouth and gasp for air. She let out another scream before the bottle was forced into her mouth. _

"_What the fuck are you doing?" a familiar voice asked from behind her. The boy holding her released her and Dylan backed away. Arika didn't move, she fell to the ground on her hands and knees, retching and coughing as she spit out the hand sanitizer. She saw someone move paste her and Dylan was lifted off of his feet and slammed into the wall. "I asked you a questions shithead."_

"_N-Nothing. We were just joking around!" the 8__th__ grader muttered, utterly terrified. Suddenly Dylan was thrown onto the ground beside her. The other boys had vanished._

"_Does she look like she's laughing? Give me one good reason not to kick the shit out you." Arika looked up at her rescuer. Jax looked like an angel standing over her, the sun at his back. "I asked you a question asshole." Jax drew back his leg to kick the boy but Arika grabbed his jeans. _

"_No." she rasped. "Not worth it." The blonde teenager looked down on her and frowned. _

"_Get out of here." Jax growled at the kid, who wasted no time scrambling to his feet. "If you come near her again, I'll feed you to the crows." He called as the boy hightailed it out of there. The moment they were alone in the dingy ally, Jax knelt beside Arika who sat back against the mossy brick of old shop. "You alright darling?" he asked her, brushing her hair back from face. Arika's heart was pounding. Jax was so close to her… studying her face, trying to be sure that she was okay…_

"_I'm fine." _

"_You should have let me cream the fucker." He told her, sitting beside her and lighting a cigarette. _

"_Smoking is bad for you Jax." She reprimanded. "And so is beating up kids. The club doesn't need that kind of heat." _

"_You sound like my mother." He teased._

"_Shut up. I don't want to cause trouble." _

"_You aren't. You're blood and you needed help. Otto would have my balls if I hadn't stepped in and taken care of family." He said putting an arm around her. "No one touches my family." He added, kissing her on the temple. _

Jax didn't want to hang around the clubhouse. When he realized the weed wasn't going to calm his racing mind, the VP decided to hit the road. He hoped on his Harley and went for a drive, but it wasn't helping him stay out of his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about Arika. He wished he could say that he was just worried about her, but the truth is, he was replaying the alcohol blurred events of the night before. Even though he knew last night had been ten kinds of fucked up, he was so turned on. His inner beast was vamped up by how rough he had been with her, and how well she took all of it.

The logical bit of his brain was well aware that those thoughts weren't going to do anything but earn him a bigger beat down. The club wasn't going to take to kindly to the news, and it wouldn't take long for them to put two and two together. They were both marked up like they'd fought their way out of a vacuum cleaner factory. Everyone was going to have a beef about fucking her while she was wasted.

Then there was the toll he had to pay himself. He couldn't reconcile what he had done. Even Tig had the decency to walk away. The blonde had been relentless in his domination of her body. When she had had enough, he kept riding her until he was satisfied. He hadn't meant for it to turn in that when he went in there, but when he'd seen that she'd hurt herself… Something in him just snapped.

~*~  
>"Knock knock!" Arika looked up from the magazine she'd snagged from Gem and smiled a little at the matron who was standing in the doorway holding a tray of cookies and a glass of milk. "Mind if I come in?"<p>

"Your house Gem." she said setting the tablet aside and forcing a smile.

"Good point." the matron said as she sat on the edge of the bed, putting the tray and cup on the nightstand. "So, anything new and exciting going on?" she asked looking at her nails, pretending like she wasn't itching for intel on Arika's melt down.

"Well, I learned Tig can't keep that big mouth of his shut. Clay should be careful about that." Gemma smiled and looked up at Arika who didn't look amused.

"Can you blame him? I can be pretty intimidating."

"Clay needs to watch that too." the younger girl teased.

"So you and Ope huh?" Arika blinked.

"I'm not talking about this."

"Tig said-"

"Tig, like usual, doesn't know what he's talking about." the younger of the women said firmly. "This is between me and Opie, and I'm not telling." Gemma didn't like that answer. Mama bear wasn't fond of her cubs talking back, but she could appreciate that the young girl was standing her ground.

"Fair enough." Arika smiled a little, shocked that she was actually going to back down. "Don't be so surprised. I understand keeping your mouth shut when the Sons are involved. It's a life saving quality around here." Arika shrugged and looked back down at the magazine. Gemma opened her mouth but before she could say anything more, the doorbell rang. "Maybe that's Ope coming to make up?"

"Yeah right, since when does a Son ring a doorbell?" They heard Clay grunt and then his heavy footsteps shuffle across the living room as he and Tig argued over something sports related and opened the door.

"Clay, thank god-" Arika blanched at the sound of her voice. "-You have to help me."Gemma and Arika exchanged a look and they both scrambled for the door to see Clay's reaction and to find out what the dramatic proclamation was about. "Where's Arika? Is she at the clubhouse? Is she safe?" Arika couldn't help but think of Gollum from Lord of the Rings at her mother's poor choice of words. Joslyn was the furthest thing from a deformed hobit though. She was a stunning woman, tall, thin, blonde and dressed in clothes that were well beyond her means.

"Relax Jo, she's here. Safe and sound." The brunette would dispute that. If her mother was the bane of her existence. "See?" Clay pointed to Arika as she and Gemma spilled into the room. The moment she laid eyes on her there was a pit of anger in Arika's belly that she hadn't missed in the month she'd been in Charming. Shit, had it been a month already?

"Oh thank god! Come here boo bear!" The immaculate woman said throwing her arms open and throwing herself on her unwilling daughter. Arika wanted to glare at Tig as he snorted at her mothers annoying pet name but she was distracted by pain shooting through her shoulder.

"Fuck! Mom, get off!" she said pushing the woman back.

"See? See how she treats me? No word from her for weeks and this is how she greets me?" Arika's hands tightened into a fist and suddenly Tig was beside her, a hand on her unharmed shoulder.

"Arika is hurt Joslyn. She had a little... Accident." Gemma explained calmly. "It's nothing personal."

"If she bothered to pick up the phone and call I would have known." Arika was glad Tig was standing over her, she might have lost her shit. Being without this gnawing anger for so long had made it difficult to manage it. It helped to have Tig squeezing her shoulder tightly.

"What are you doing here mom?" she asked finally because the two bikers and their queen didn't seem to think to do so. She could see her mother staring at her neck and she wondered why the woman was holding her tongue on the matter.

"Your boyfriend is making threats." Joslyn said slowly, staring down her daughter.

"Boyfriend?" Arika asked, confused. Arika had been on dates, but she never shared that with her mother, let alone introduced one of the suitors to her.

"Says he'll kill me if you don't come home." Tig who had stopped touching Arika but was still standing beside her could see every bit of her turn to stone. "Imagine my shock when I found out my good little girl was a whore. You just had to ruin him too didn't you?"

"Don't you fucking dare." Her daughter whispered in a deadly low voice. "Don't fucking dare act like I didn't warn you that he was bad fucking news!" she said getting louder. "Did you think I flipped out for no reason? I warned you, but you were such a dumb bitch you just didn't want to listen! You deserve whatever you fucking get from that piece of shit. You and Scott were made for each other." Arika growled turning on her heel and leaving the room, going back up the hall and slamming her door shut.

"This is about Scott?" Tig asked slowly, his tone cold and dangerous. "You're even more bat-shit stupid then before you left." He growled.

"He really thinks that sending you down here is gonna make us change our minds and we'll just send the kid packing back to Oregon?" Clay snorted at the stupidity of the concept.

"He's here in Charming. He thought I would play along, lead you out of here to that he could swoop in for his whore. I'll be damned if I'll let that happen." Joslyn said sweetly as though she hadn't just said truly offensive things about her daughter.

When Jax pulled up to his house, he was immediately suspicious of the black clad figure sitting on the stoop. As he shut off the bike however, the figure looked up and his stomach tightened. Arika stood up as he walked towards her, her cheeks pink and wearing his clothes, hair piled on top of her head in a sloppy bun under the hood of his sweatshirt, wisps falling down around her face, framing her wild pale green eyes. She was staring at him intently and he could almost see the edges of her mask starting to fail.

"What's wrong?" She reacted as if he's hit her. The brunette put her hands to her face and growled. "Arika?" he wasn't sure what was going on, but something was definitely wrong.

"I am about to have a nervous breakdown." Jax frowned as his chest tightened like his stomach had. "I didn't know where else to go." she said lowering her hands from her face and jumping as she realized how close Jax was standing to her now, barely a foot away now... "Jesus." she muttered as she looked anywhere but at his face. The blonde man felt a stab of guilt. He wanted nothing more than to engulf her in his arms and protect her from all of the bullshit that she was going through, especially the bullshit in her head. He knew that wasn't a great idea at the moment if her nervous body language was any indicator. Instead he pulled out his keys and opened the dead bolt on the door, still standing dangerously close. He might not feel great about what had happened last night, but she had been phenomenal.

"What happened?" he asked again. Arika wasn't fond of tight spaces, she fumbled for the unlocked door and stumbled into the house, eager to put distance between her and Jax.

"Life fucking happened." she said with a sigh of relief when there was space between them again and the air wasn't dripping with the smell of his aftershave. Arika looked at Jax who was a little more than an arm's length away now and her mind raced. There was so much she wanted to say and so little time. "I wanted to talk to you about last night. I'm sorry how I acted this morning." Jax nodded and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket.

"Yeah, me too." he said leaning against the wall as he pulled the door closed. She just stood there, her face blank as she tried to maintain her steady breathing despite the tightening in her chest.

"I was drunk and-"

"You don't have to explain it to me darlin, I've made enough drunken mistakes to last a lifetime." He told her. "Last night was no different." He could see that something shift in her, something was off, her eyes turned glassy, like she was ready to cry, but the rest of her seems calm and relaxed.

"I know it wasn't... I just wanted to make sure that we were okay." She said trying to keep her voice casual, turning her back to him as she walked into the living room. She hadn't been here since…

"We're far from okay darlin." She, fiddling with the sleeves of her hoodie. "How can I be okay with the shit you've kept from me?"

"Shit." She grumbled. "Jax, it's not like I have to tell you everything." she said after a few heavy moments. The VP was taken aback by the attitude that had suddenly appeared in her words. "You hardly even know me." she spat, turning to face him. Jax wasn't sure where this sudden change had come from, her face had hardened and turned angry. "What gives you the right to intrude on my life?"

"You're family Arika, we take care of our own." he told her firmly. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Family?" she growled. "Family? You and the fucking family left me in Oregon five years ago and never looked back." she half yelled at him. "Where was your god damn concern then? Your righteous entitlement to dictate how I handle my shit? Hm? If I hadn't come back here I wouldn't have crossed your mind." she growled. "Admit it Jax, the bug up your ass is less to do with family and more to do with your selfish need to fix and protect everything, it makes you feel like more of a man to be able to step in and save the fucking day." Jax just stood there, stunned at her words. How could she really believe that they had abandoned her in Oregon? There had been a war between them and the Myan's, she would have been in danger here. "Do me a favor, and keep the superman cape in the closet. I don't need your help." she hissed as she pushed past him, walking out of the house.

The moment she made it out of his sight she thought her facade would start to crumble, but as she spilled into the yard, she was confronted by four more Sons and she groaned inwardly.

"There you are!" Opie sighed with relief. "Jesus, Arika..." he whispered as she glanced over his shoulder to Bobby, Tig, and Chibs who were staring at her. "What the fuck were you thinking?" Opie growled as he ran a hand through his hair. "You can't just take off like that!"

"No one would give me a second of their time, so I did what I needed to. I left a note." She snapped haughtily.

"We were a little preoccupied Arika, that's no reason to run off!" Bobby scolded as he and the others approached her. "This is not the time to act like a stupid teenager." She rolled her eyes. Tig stepped close and grabbed her chin.

"Roll your eyes again, I dare you. This shit is serious doll face, I'll handcuff you and lock you in the dungeon if that's what it takes to make you stay put." he growled. He was trying to intimidate cooperation out of her, it almost worked, but she was already too worked up and pissed off at Jax. She slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me." she growled, fists clenched. Tig took a deep breath. If she'd been a Croweater mouthing off like that, he'd show her who was in charge, but she wasn't some mouthy gash.

"What's going on?" Jax asked, coming outside, surprised to see his brothers gathered around Arika.

"And you!" Tig turned, glaring at his brother. "Why the fuck can't you pick up the god damn phone?" he snapped.

"There was a call to arms Jackie boy." Chibs said, dragging his eyes from Arika to Jax, not missing the nasty look the girl was giving him.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hey guys, here's the next chapter… We are nearing the ned of this part of Arika's story… I have another story starring her in mind… a continuation from where this leaves off… I could start working on that, or I could start working on my OC/Opie idea. That's totally up to you, my readers. Let me know what you want to see! If I do the Opie story, I will still come back to Arika eventually… but I will only commit to one or the other right now. **** Oh, and please be tolerant of typos. I am writing a lot of this on an iPad now. I try to proof read but I miss stuff. **

**Disclaimer: I think making use say this every chapter is pure torture. I don't own the Sons. **

To say Arika was tense was a gross understatement. Everyone had all migrated to the living room to listen to Tig retell the morning's events, but Arika had no interest in hearing about it, but she was standing in the corner, giving the Sons mean looks. She had been hoping the morning had been a bad nightmare and her mother wasn't in Charming, and that the evil woman hadn't led Scott right to her and the people she cared most about.

"I've made enough drunken mistakes to last a lifetime. Last night was no different."

Arika wasn't an idiot. She knew that last night wasn't going to mean as much to Jax as it did to her, but she couldn't deny that there was a tiny naive part of her that had hoped against hope that it would awaken some sort of desire for her... Couldn't it mean just a little bit to him? She was so lost in her head that she wasn't sure when he'd started looking at her, but he was staring back at her now. He tilted his head to the side, worry and confusion etched into all of his features. Now that he knew her dirty little secret, he was ruined.

"Excuse me." she muttered as she pushed away from the wall and made a b-line fore the exit. Maybe getting out of the clubhouse would ease her nerves? She saw Jax move to stand out of the corner of her eye and she held her breath. She didn't want to be followed right now. She needed space to pull her head together. Arika moved faster once she rounded the corner, the panic that she'd been holding back was starting to wave through her now that she was away from prying eyes and in the back of her mind, she was stunned by the sudden change. She stumbled through the front door, and took a deep breath of the open air. It felt better to be away from everyone and able to just fall apart for a moment.

"You alright princess?" she jumped and looked over her shoulder surprised to see Chibs standing there, and relieved that it wasn't Jax.

"Fine... Just too much shit in my head right now..." she explained, pushing her bangs back from her face with a heavy sigh. "Everything is royally fucked Chibs." she turned and leaned against the wall, banging her head gently against the brick.

"Aye, I get it." he agreed, leaning against the opposite wall, taking out a cigarette and offering her one which she took appreciatively.

"I don't know what to do with myself anymore. No matter what I do everything gets a little more twisted." she took a drag on the cigarette hoping that it would soothe her nerves.

"It'll get better princess."

"Bullshit." she snorted. "It's not gonna get any better. Not here, not with all of my fucked up dirty laundry."

"We're about to clean some of that laundry off of the face of the earth." he reassured. "It's not gonna erase it... But it'll lighten the load on your shoulders." she opened her mouth, but closed it again. She wanted to argue, but she didn't have the energy, there were more important things to shoulder to show the battle field medic her clumsily bandaged shoulder. "Jesus."

"Can you take care of this for me?" she asked, shifting nervously as he flicked his cigarette into the yard and stepped closer.

"Holy hell, were you attacked my an animal princess?" he asked as he pushed her hair back to get a better view of her marred neck. "Who did this?" he asked, frowning darkly.

"It was consensual Chibs, I was talking about the sloppy bandage job." she snapped, pulling his hand back from her throat and putting it over the bandage. "I can take care of a prick who gets handsy. I'm shit with medical tape and one hand." he snorted slightly.

"Aye, I guess we've all seen the proof of that." he peeled the tape and the bandage back slowly, trying to cause as little discomfort as possible, but she shivered under the sensation. "Lucky you haven't busted a stitch with all of the carrying on you've been doing." he said warmly, putting a hand on her shoulder and guiding her back into the house. She'd taken all of five steps back into the building when Opie was towering over her, frowning.

"You alright?" he asked, cautiously.

"I'm fine Ope." she sighed.

"Are you sure, I-."

"Listen Winston, I am in a real shitty mood. You need to do us both a favor and back the hell off before I loose my shit. Why don't you go exchange notes with Jax again." she nodded over toward Jax who was watching the interchange.

"Jax has told me enough." he said in a hushed tone, reaching out and grabbing hold of her arm where she'd cut herself open on the dresser. She looked at his hand, and then back up at him. She wasn't sure what possessed her to do it, but she slapped his hand away and unzipped her jacket, shrugging it off.

"Really? You sure he told you enough? Did he tell that this happened when I feel into the dresser?" she asked, seeing Jax stand up suddenly. "Why so surprised Ope, I thought you and Jax were in the habit of trading dirty little secrets. Even the ones that don't belong to you." Opie swallowed because her flip-out this morning suddenly made sense. She knew that Jax had been filled in. "You and Jax are both wearing out my last fucking nerve."

"Come're princess. Let's get you fixed up." Chibs cut in, putting a hand on her waist to direct her away from too stunned to move giant. As they turned the corner, going into the guest bedroom she glanced back to see Opie still standing in the middle of the room, his back to her so she couldn't see his face.

"Why can't people just leave me the fuck alone." she grumbled. Chibs chuckled dryly.

"I think he got the message." he told her, sitting her down on the bed.

Tensions were at a whole new high in the living room. Opie was still trying to process what he had seen, and what it meant, but Tig was the one who exploded.

"You stupid son of a bitch." He growled at Jax. "Even I had the decency to walk away."

"Tig, it's not like that brother, I was just as drunk, I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Obviously fucking not." Tigger raged, getting in Jax's face.

"Ease down Tiggy, this is not the time." Bobby said taking the wild mans arm and pulling him back.

"And when's a better time? He went in there and fucked her, drunk as a skunk, she deserved better. Her first time should have been special with as hard as she's fought to keep her-"

"First?" Opie asked, confused, mind still reeling.

"You didn't know?" Tig asked, looking up at the giant. "The kid hasn't had sex with a man before. Been keeping that little treasure locked up tight. Even had it written into her contract with the prick she works for. No fucking, just beatings and blowjobs."

"I had no idea." Jax breathed, cold shock washing over him. The way she squirmed and gasped as he pushed deep inside of her…. He had told her her first time had been a drunken mistake… No wonder she was hurt.

"Of course you didn't you-"

"Enough Tig. This is not the time." Bobby repeated. "There are more important things to worry about right now." The fat man held up his phone. "Clay wants us all at the chapel. Strategy meeting."

"What about Arika?" Opie asked, looking up the hallway.

"Chibs can bring her along, she might have some intel that we can use." Bobby said, looking between Jax and Tig. "Put a pin in it until this shit is done, got it?" Tig growled and walked away from the blonde who still had a stunned look on his face. Bobby followed Tig, and Jax looked up at his best friend who was staring at him blankly.

"I had no idea Ope, I swear, things just got carried away."

"No shit." He said, running a hand through his hair.

"I kind of lost my shit when I saw the blood. I thought –" There was a creaking as the door opened up in the hall way and Jax stopped talking.

"Where's everybody at?" Chibs asked, coming into the living room, Arika trailing behind him.

"Clubhouse." Opie answered flatly, turning and walking out of the house not giving Jax a second look as he went.

"I guess I'll stay here." Arika said, not looking at Jax.

"Nah, with the prick in town, ya need to stay safe princess. Come along." The scot kept walking, and Arika followed but Jax grabbed her arm.

"We need to talk." He said softly.

"No Jax, we don't." she said pulling away and stalking out of the room. Jax wanted to drag her back, chase her down and make her understand… Understand what?

Arika was aggravated. She wasn't sure she could handle much more of the sheer frustration being piled on top of her. There was something seriously fucked up about her being locked out of the chapel while the men discussed how to take down the bane of her existence.

"Arika, you look like shit dressed like that." Scratch that, make that ONE of the banes of her existence. Unfortunately there wasn't much that could be done for Joslyn's presence. The MC had a responsibility to Otto to keep her safe, just like Arika. "Honestly, I don't know what Scott sees in you."

"Great. Maybe he'll find a new victim." Arika grumbled darkly. Why had Gemma and Clay brought this stupid woman to the clubhouse? Arika had taken off to get away from her! It wouldn't be as bad if she had Gemma for back-up, but the matron was across the lot looking for something in the office.

"No one held a gun to your head Arika. You signed that contract of your own free will." Joslyn answered, her tone strangely relaxed considering the topic. "I just think that they could have done better." Arika took a deep breath and crossed her arms, her hand resting on her injured shoulder, massaging the tender flesh through the hoodie and bandage that Chibs had fitted her with. It helped a little bit to hurt, but it wasn't the familiar sting she preferred. Her mind was wondering off to a dark place. This wasn't good. The brunette jumped to her feet and went for the chapel door, pounding on them with a shaking fist. "What are you doing? They are discussing ways to save your ass. Sit down and leave them alone." Arika pounded harder on the door until it opened, the not so jolly giant appearing in the doorway.

"We told you to stay out of this." Opie told her firmly.

"I know, I need a smoke." she said, glancing past him at the men sitting around the reaper engraved table. "I am seriously about to lose my shit." she added in a hushed tone, bringing her pale green eyes back to his rich brown eyes and conveying the insanity that was building up inside of her.

"I'll be back in a second okay?" he said over his shoulder at Clay who looked rather confused and then glanced at Jax who looked ready to spring to his feet.

"Hurry up." the president barked as Ope stepped out of the chapel.

The moment he stepped out of the room, Arika turned and went straight for the door leading to the outside. She didn't have to look back to see if her friend was behind her, she could feel his intense stare burning holes into her back.

"What's going on?" Opie asked, not wasting any time the moment they were out of sight from Joslyn's prying eyes. "You okay?"

"Not even a little." she deadpanned without looking him in the eye. Instead, she proceeded to pat down his chest in order to find his pack of cancer sticks. It was in the right breast pocket. She reached into his cut, but he grabbed her hand.

"Excuse you." he growled.

"Shut up and give me a cigarette." she growled back. Of all the things, that's what he was going to grumble about? Her reaching into his pocket. "I really don't feel good Ope. Please just give me some fucking nicotine." He obliged, taking out the pack and handing it to her. He watched her, wryly as she ripped open the pack like a starving man eating a cheese burger.

"You okay?" he asked a second time, this time more concerned than before.

"I think I might just kill her." Arika answered. "She's done nothing but be a cunt the whole time she's been here. I want to end her!" Ah, she was talking about Joslyn. Suddenly her anxiety seemed to make sense. "I am desperately trying to contain my shit, I don't need you and Jax even further up my ass."

"How can I help?" he didn't want to see her lose her shit, he didn't want to see her hurt, he just wanted her to relax and be healthy.

"Let me go with you to take down Scott."

"That's out of my control and you know it." he answered without giving it a second thought. "It's dangerous and, well, just no."

"What the fuck kind of answer is that 'just no'?"

"I'm sorry, but I am not putting you in harm's way." he said, shaking his head. "You mean too damn much to us." she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not some fragile flower." he raised a brow at her and poked her shoulder making her yelp.

"No, tough as a rock." he responded flatly.

"Fuck you! God damn Ope, what kind of cheap trick was that? I thought you were a biker, not a little bitch." she hissed, her stiched shoulder throbbing from the firm tap.

"We almost lost you." he said loudly. "You were out for two days. We thought you were dead." she felt a stab of guilt wash through her as his eyes turned glassy. "Do you know that that's like? I love you like you were blood, shit, you ARE blood. I will not put myself through that hell again."

"Becasue it's all about you right?" Her tone was dark as she stared at the tip of her cigarette. "How does Opie feel? How does Jax feel? How do all of these grow so called men feel?" She mocked. "Well how about someone thinks about how Arika feels for once?" her pale eyes were filled with anger as she looked up at him. "Why is this about you? Why can't I fight my own fight? I need to do something! I need to be a part of this! I have tried to play nice, I've tried to be good, I have given up complete control to you fucking pricks and I have gotten nothing. Not anymore." she whispered, looking down at the cigarette in her hand. "Not any fucking more." she turned over her hand and pressed the hot tip of the cancer stick to her flesh, watching horror and hurt fly over Opies face. Arika grimaced and shuddered, but stood in front of the giant biker, daring him to do or say anything. "I did what you fucking asked. I came to you, I submitted to you and asked to be a part of this." she threw the crumpled butt into the dirt. "Go to hell Ope, you and the whole fucking club." She walked back into the clubhouse, leaving Opie standing alone, heart racing.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/n: Hey guys. So… I think this is going to be the last part of this 'Chapter' of Arika's story. I am already thinking about what's next for her, but this phase is about complete. The next segment/story will come out soon! Enjoy! **

The moment they had returned to the Teller-Morrow home, Arika locked herself into the guest bedroom, scrambling to stuff all of her clothes into bags. The moment lockdown ended she was going to leave this stupid little town. There was a part of Arika what wished that things had gone smoother, that her Charming homecoming would play out like it always had in her dreams. Jax being that special someone who sweeps her into his arms and realizes that his life had been incomplete without her. Maybe make her in old lady...

She laughed at herself harshly. Knowing what he knew, she wasn't surprised that their night had been a "drunken mistake" to him. She wouldn't want to be a part of her life either. She shoved the sadness attached to all of her shattered childhood dreams aside. It was much easier then the first time it had donned on her that she and Jax just weren't meant to be.

_These heels were ridiculous. The narrow four inch heels were difficult for the fifteen year old to walk in, and she was trying to make it through the crowded clubhouse. Arika couldn't just walk up to the blonde god in front of all of these people. She'd been scoping him out all night. Jackson had been sitting at the bar with Opie, drinking and having a good old time. Hopefully he'd be just tipsy enough to fall right into her clutches. _

"_Hey there sweet ass." there was a hand on her ass, and the brunette looked around, frowning at the offending non-biker that was standing over her. _

"_Fuck off." she said slapping his hand away. _

"_Come on baby. Sweet little thing like you must be looking for a good time." he said, wrapping a hand around her waist and pulling her close. "I've got your good time right here." he leaned down to kiss her but he put her hand over her face and tried to push him back. _

"_I'm not a sweet butt you moron." she yelled over the loud music. _

"_You someone's old lady?" he asked, loosening his grip for a moment, concerned that he had made a serious mistake that would end up earning him the beating of his lifetime. _

"_No, I'm-" _

"_Then what are you bitching about?" he asked, steeping into her, pushing her back until her back was against a wall. "Now be nice or I'll have to teach you some manners." his lotion scented hand gripped her chin and pulled her into a kiss, squeezing her face until she gasped in pain, parting her lips for him. There was a jerking sensation and suddenly the assailant was ripped away from her. _

"_What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Arika's eyes went wide as Jax held the asshole by the front of his shirt, delivering a harsh blow to the man's nose, blood spurting everywhere. _

"_You okay?" Opie asked, appearing at her shoulder as she watched Jax drag the man towards the door, Tig and Bobby walking out with them. That moron was in for a world of hurt. "What are you even doing here? What's with the clothes?" _

"_I'm fine. What's with the twenty questions?" she asked back, covering her face. This was not how things were supposed to go, but maybe she could use this to her advantage. _

"_Gemma know you're here?" _

"_You gonna tell her?" she asked, frowning at him. Opie shook his head at her. "Good. Now, if you'll excuse me..." She pushed past Ope and the crowd toward the back room, the last door on the right, the dorm that Jax lived in. Inside the fortress of pussy, Arika took a long deep breath and wobbled over to the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. If she was going to this, she might as well do this right. She had speant more time then she'd like to admit in doing her hair and make up. She wanted to look like somewhere between sophisticated woman and sexy old lady... Now she was going to undo it. She splashed water on her cheeks, rubbed her eyes to smear her eye liner and ruffled her hair. She looked down at the halter top that she'd borrowed from Gemma and promised to help the woman out in the office as she ripped one of the straps. When she settled herself on the edge of the bed to wait, she smiled a little to herself. Sure it sucked to be ambushed, but upon reflection, this would be more effective then her original idea to just confess. _

_The minutes turned into almost an hour, an hour turned into almost two. Arika was beginning to wonder if Jax had gotten injured in the fight. What if he was out there looking for her when she was sitting right here waiting? Should she go out and look for him? She stood up and moved toward the door, careful to keep her top up, and thankful for that as the door flew open and Jax and some Croweating bitch fell into the room, their lips locked, hands everywhere. The fifteen year old stood there, petrified and so embarrassed she wished the ground would swallow her whole. Jax hadn't been defending her, hadn't been worried about her. He'd been looking for someone to score with! The woman noticed her first and broke the kiss. _

"_Jax, stop, look." she whispered as he moved from her lips to her neck. He looked to where his date had nodded and his eyes went wide as he saw Arika standing in the middle of the room, roughed up, tears in her eyes. _

"_Shit." he breathed, releasing the prime piece of ass in his arms, and stepping toward Arika. "You okay darlin?" he asked, reaching out to push her hair back and get a better look of her face. He should have checked on her sooner after he dragged that prick outside. Arika slapped his hand away. _

"_Just fucking peachy." she said, shoving back him, and stomping out of the room. She refused to let him see her actually cry. _

Arika sank down onto the bed, rubbing her face. She had been such an idiot back then. Hell, she was STILL an idiot. She'd come back here looking for Jax to keep her safe. She wanted to play the damsel in distress, she didn't want to BE the damsel.

"Arika!" Gemma's voice rang out through the house, making the young woman jump. "Arika r-" her voice was suddenly cut off and Arika tensed. There were few things that could magically make Gemma stop talking, and none of them were good. The door to her bedroom slammed open.

"Arika, be a dear and come give us a hand hm?" Joslyn said, a sugary smile on her lips as she watched the younger woman's eyes widen.

"Hey Shana." Jax said, leaning on the desk in the lobby of the Easy Sleeper hotel on the edge of town. "How are you doing darlin?"

"Good... And you?" she asked, leaning forward , pressing her arms together against her chest to make her cleavage swell.

"Alright I guess." he said, scratching his chin, looking a little down cast.

"Now why don't I believe that? What's the matter?" she asked, frowning.

"I hate to ask this, but we need to sneak a peek at the security camera's and find out thee room number of a friend." Shana straightened up almost immediately. She should have known Teller was up to something.

"Friends?" she repeated, brow raised.

"I use the term loosely." he shrugged. "Look sweetheart, there are some men staying here who hurt a member of my family. "

"Isn't getting hurt part of the outlaw life?" she snipped, not liking being used.

"It is, but this is just an innocent bystander. Outlaw by blood, not by choice... She didn't deserve any of the hurt these assholes inflicted on her. I need to make that right. I need your help in order to do that." God damn those beautiful blue puppy dog eyes he was giving her. She wanted to pull him over the counter and hold him until all of the hurt in them was gone.

"I just got a call from room 215, woman has been bitching about everything. I'll probably be up there for a good thirty minutes." she said, picking up a walkie talkie and stepping around the counter. "The shitty thing about the night shift, is that there's no one around to watch the desk when I have to leave it alone." she ran her hand down the front of Jax's cut, and he couldn't help but grin at her.

"Thanks Shana, I owe you one." He said, wrapping and arm around her waist and pressing his lips against hers briefly. "I owe you a big one."

"You can take me out this weekend to make it up to me."

"You know where to find me on a Friday night..." Someone cleared their throat and Jax looked up at Chibs and the rest of the club standing off by the door, waiting for the green light.

"I'll see you then Jax." she cooed, kissing his cheek and walking away toward the elevators. The blonde ladies man waved over the rest of his MC.

"We got thirty minutes." Juice wasted no time stepping around the counter, and letting his fingers dance across the keyboard.

"More the enough time. Room 413 and adjoining room 414 is registered to a Scott Barin. He's the only Scott in the system."

"Any way to tell who's staying in what room? I would hate to bust in on his security team." Bobby asked, pouring himself a cup of the complimentary coffee.

"I'm not sure..." He said, tapping away quickly. "Tig, come'ere. That's our guy right?"

Jax moved around the counter with the clubs resident sociopath to look at the video that the mohawked tech officer has pulled up. They watched a young blonde woman and Scott go into 414, and a group of five surly men walked into the second room.

"Shit." Jax grumbled. "There's not a way to take him down without it getting hairy."

"Wait, check this out." Juice said hitting the fast forward button. The three men watched the time stamp fly forward until the door of the room that body guards were in opened. All five men filed out of the room.

"That was twenty minutes ago." Jax said, tapping the space bar to pause the video. "Where did they go?"

"More importantly, do they come back?"

"It doesn't look like it. Our guy's a sitting duck." Tig said with sick grin on his face. "This is gonna be a piece of cake."

"You've cost me a lot of money over the last couple months. This little disappearing act of yours has killed off some of my customer base." That numb feeling of shock had washed over Arika as a tall man shoved her into Clays arm chair. "And that is just bad for business." There were five men in the room, all of them resembling walls of muscle. Gemma was sitting in a kitchen chair, a gash on the side of her head, and duct tape over her mouth. Arika looked back from Gemma to the woman in the middle of the room, holding a gun on her.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, voice wavering ever so slightly with rage, not fear.

"You think I'm stupid? I spent years in this little town seeing the money the club made dealing the in the underworld. When my brothers little whore opened her porn business they were rolling in cash." Joslyn said casually, sitting on the couch with her legs crossed, setting the gun in her lap. "Of course, I couldn't stand to be associated with such a filthy thing. That's why I took us out of Charming, changed our name... But I missed the money." she said with a sigh. "So when I found the strip club for cheap I thought, hey, if Otto can do it, why can't I? The smarter of the Delaney children." The words took a minute to sink into to Arika's brain. "Imagine my shock when Scott came to me and told me my daughter had asked him for a job in a strip club. MY strip club."

"You're fucking sick." Arika growled. "What kind of psycho puts her own fucking daughter in that kind of life?!"

"What kind of daughter wants to leave their mother so desperately she signs away her soul? Would rather be a whore then be a good daughter." Arika jumped up from her chair to lunge at the pristine blonde, but a heavy hand flew down on her burned shoulder and shoved her back down into the chair. She screamed in pain.

"You fucking bitch!" she screeched.

"Yes, that's good, get it all out." Joslyn said looking at her nails. "This isn't on me Arika. This is on you. I never held a gun to your head to make you do these things. I only asked you be a good daughter. Obedience and loyalty. What I got was a deceitful whore. Even when I hurt by your betrayal I was still looking out for you. I wouldn't let you be a complete slut. I wrote your innocence into the contract, and what did you do with my trying to keep you from ruining your life? You throw it away on a fucking Son."

"How do you know that?" Arika gasped, her shoulder still throbbing.

"Like I can't see the fucking hickey's on your neck. I'm not stupid. Who was it? Juice? Opie? Tigger?"

"All three. It was a big old gang bang right in the middle of the clubhouse."

"You're disgusting."

"No worse than a soulless cunt like you." Arika hissed.

"When we get back home, I'll wash your mouth out with soap." Joslyn glanced up at the clock on the wall. "It's about time we get going." the blonde walked over to Gemma and raised the gun.

"NO!" Arika shrieked.

"PLEASE! Please for the love of god!" The man shrieked as the knife dragging down is back reached the bottom and pulled away. "Stop! Just make it stop!"

"Did Arika ever beg for you to stop?" Jax asked standing up from the car her was leaning against. "Did you ever let her take a break when you were pimping her out." the blonde asked standing in front of the man who was hanging from the ceiling of garage.

"No. We're going to make you suffer the way she's suffered because of you. Then we will kill you and she will finally be free."

"Not me." he breathed, getting a short reprieve while Tig picked out a new tool to torture the man with.

"What?"

"Not me... Jo..." Tig had turned back to resume the pain but Jax held up a hand to stop him.

"What the fuck did you just say?" The VP growled, an inch away from the mans face.

Lights, horns, the screech of tires, the wail of metal twisting, the sensation of being tossed around the large SUV like a rag doll, then thunderous silence. For a moment she thought she had gone deaf. She was almost sure of it until sound slowly started to register in her mind. She could hear panic screams for someone to call 911 and the sound of running feet.

Jax's heart was racing. Clay and Bobby had left just a few minutes ago with a battered Gemma in their arms. She was breathing but she had two nasty looking gashes on her head... Opie, Chibs, Juice, and Jax all tore the house apart looking for any sign of Arika. They needed to find her. It was clear to all of them that Arika was gone, but Jax and Opie were both in denial. Their minds were still trying to wrap around the fact that Arika was gone, and if they went on the word of the slim ball that Tig was still dissecting back at the garage, her own mother had been behind this. All of this...

"What do we do now?" Juice asked cautiously.

"We go fucking find her." Jax said in a hushed tone. "We find her and we rip that sadistic bitch into pieces." Jax turned toward the door, eager to begin the chase.


	22. Chapter 22 - Finale (Edited)

**A/n: So I know that this chapter has kind of already been posted, but I posted it again to FINISH Control Freak. It has been tweaked because I didn't like the way it was going, and I decided that I wanted to go in an entirely other direction so I am. Sorry for any confusion! **

It had been had been months since Arika's trail went cold and most of the boys had started returning to their usual routine. At this point, there was nothing they could do for Arika. Opie and Jax seemed to still be carrying the weight of the accident on their shoulders, and the VP was exercising that guilt the only way he knew how. Long runs and hard paties.

Jax was staggering around the clubhouse, a bottle of whiskey and crow eater by his side. Tonight he'd found a piece of fresh meat. She had been cornered by Tiger, but Jax had swooped in and saved her from the sadist, redirecting the wild sergeant toward one of his favorite victims who had walked in... Anyone else in the clubhouse could see why he was attracted to her, and it wasn't just the short hem of her form fitting dress.

"Everyone is staring." she muttered, her cheeks turning red as she squirmed under everyone's gaze.

"Fuck'em" he said gruffly, draping her arm around her, planting a kiss in her product scented brunette hair. "I'll protect you darlin." he promised sweetly as he led her toward the back of the clubhouse.

"Oh, yeah? What do I need protecting from?" she asked, glancing at him as he took a long pull from the bottle.

"Where do I start?" she was confused but she didn't press the matter. She had snagged the prize of the night and she was going to enjoy herself. Jax let her walk away from him, but her watched her as she walked around the room, looking at the posters and odds and ends scattered on the desk. She paused at a framed picture of a woman holding a guitar sitting on the corner of his desk.

"So we're all alone." she said with a smile that made her pale green eyes sparkle. "What now my knight?" she said in a suggestive tone. He stalked toward her slowly.

"Turn around." she listened, she was looking into the bathroom, standing in front of a mirror. "Take off your dress." he directed, standing a few feet back, staring at her in the mirror. "Just the dress." she complied, unzipping the dress and letting it pool at her feet.

"What now?" there was a mischievous smile on her lips. He pulled a hair tie from his pocket and held it out to her.

"Put your hair up. Messy." she fought the urge to roll her eyes. The epic lady slayer was picky wasn't he? She listened and stood there, hair piled on top of her head; so much for all of the work she's put into making it look nice. For a long moment she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, staring at his reflection. She felt like she was intruding on something very personal, she could almost see the emotion flying through is head.

"You're beautiful." he said finally, his voice sounding a little strained. "I never saw it before." he whispered staggering toward her. She started to turn, but he was against her back his hand running down her arms. "So perfect." he reached for her hands and pulled them up, palms toward them. "Perfect." he pressed a kiss to her pale neck wrapped his arms around her.

"Thanks." she answered, embarrassed a little. She'd never expected such tenderness from a biker.

"Come to bed." he said pulling away slowly and leading her toward the bed. She followed like a lost puppy. He spun her around so that she stood in front of him still in her heels and lacy blue panties. They seemed out of place though.

"We gonna get you out of some of these clothes?" she asked grabbing his cut but he grabbed her hands shaking his head.

"Not yet. Lay down." it was a request, not a command. She dropped onto the bed and laid back. He was staring at her so intently that she wanted to cross her arms over herself but as she raised them he caught them, dropping onto his knees over her. "No baby. Don't hide from me." he whispered, killing what was left of the bottle that he was still holding onto so tightly. "I promised to protect you didn't I? I won't hurt you." he finally released the empty bottle as he leaned over her. "I'm gonna do this right." he muttered against her sweet flesh kissing down her neck.

_Jax was strutting up the hallway, he was on a mission, and he had places to be… But what were they? He slowed to a stop and looked around. He was standing in the middle of__a hallway, tiled with black marble and pale ivory walls. What was he doing here?_

_"You lost?" he looked up the hallway at a woman dressed like a stripper. She was wearing a leather corset; dizzyingly tall high heels, porn star hair, and heavy make-up that made her pale green eyes seem to glow in the center of the darkness. It was unsettling because those eyes seemed empty._

"_Leave him alone." Piped a softer voice and the lost man turned behind him and saw a young girl who was dressed like a tom boy in jeans and a baggy t-shirt. This girl was simple and clean cut, obviously still young and fresh to the world… She had the same pretty shade of green eyes, but the younger girls were softer, kinder. "Let me help you. It's too late for her." The younger girl said, reaching out and taking the hand of the lost man, but Jax pulled away._

_"No, it's never too late darlin." _

Something smelled good. Like flowers and shampoo. Jax looked down at his chest and saw a messy mass of brunette hair and his heart skipped a beat.

"Morning." he said softly. The girl stretched and twisted to look up at him, her dark brown eyes glittering at him. He swallowed hard and offered her a weak smile.

"Morning handsome." she purred, her tanned fingers tracing shapes on his chest. This wasn't the girl he's taken to bed last night, not in his head anyway.

"I've got to get ready for work." he said sitting up some.

"Bikers work?"

"Yeah we work. What, did you think it was all pussy and parties?" he snapped sliding her off of him and getting up.

"I'm sorry." she said meekly.

"I'm gonna take a shower. I'll see you around." She gave him the same stunned butt hurt look that every girl before her gave him when he showed them the door.

"Maybe you can call me sometime?" she offered rolling from the bed, holding the sheet around herself.

"Sure whatever." He said lighting a cigarette and going into the bathroom and kicking the door shut behind him. It was frustrating to take woman after woman to bed and still feeling that guilt in the pit of his stomach in the morning.

Anyone who knew Jax knew he was a fierce protector of all things small and weak. The fact that he failed with Arika was eating away at him. He wasn't sure why it was bothering him so much more than any other failure. He missed her. Was it more than guilt for failing her? Did it matter what it was? What was done was done. He had failed, and no matter how many brunettes he brought to bed, there didn't seem to be any forgiveness on the horizon.

There was a knock at the door, and Jax rolled his eyes.

"I told you to take a hike!"

"Get your ass out here." Jax was taken aback by his best friend's voice coming through the door. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist before he threw open the door.

"What?"

"The bike rally in Auburn. Clay wants us on the road in 30." The blonde grunted.

"Let at least let me get the stink of last night pussy off. The go bag is already packed." He said going to closed the door Opie put a hand out.

"That pussy get you any closer to the redemption you're chasing?"

"Put the demons down long enough for me to get some sleep. Guess that's all I can ask for these days." Jax replied thoughtfully before he was finally allowed to return to the solitude of the bathroom. He leaned against the door, looking at his reflection, but imagining Arika standing in front of him for just a moment more. "I'm so sorry darlin." He whispered. Before dropping the towel from his body and climbing into the shower to begin his day.

**A/N: Okay guys, this is the end of Control Freak. This is just naturally where this story line ends. There is ANOTHER story line, but that picks up in another story that I haven't finalized the name of yet. I hope to finish chapter one and post it soon. If you are not following me as an author, you might want to go ahead and do that. I am also planning a couple of other stories to post for other shows. Thanks for being loyal! **


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